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Ability Impaired

Written By: BJ Smith
Ok, this is my first column for SPOJ and I wish it were on a happier topic. I don't know maybe this is just a way for me to vent some shit but anyway I digress... Gather round boys and girls, its story time.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the biggest bar nite of the year right? I mean when except for New Year's Eve is it totally socially acceptable for people to get stinking drunk. Well, there was no two ways about it I was gonna have a beer (or four). I had my plan all set out. There's this band in Buffalo called the Vinny Barbarino experience and the play (punk?) covers of 70's and 80's tunes. They only play like once every couple of months so its kinda like an event when they put on a show. Anyways, I drove to my friend's Amy's house where I met up with people and my DD. Sounds responsible enough right?

So we get there and I start drinking. Not shots or mixed drinks just beer (like I had to tell you). So after like four pints a "friend" of mine shows up. We had dated a while ago but for only like 3 months. I never really knew how it ended and where we stood. Sometimes we'd get along really good other times not so great... Anyway, my friend Will (the DD) is like "We're leaving" So I deceided to stick around to "see what happens" w/ my friend. So we ended up leaving blah,blah,blah- lots of drama- blah,blah,blah and I called her a fucking cunt as she was taking me back to the house where I was staying. Now, my car is parked right outside and the next thing I remember is being is a ditch, soaking wet, cold, and staring into the flashlight of an Erie County sheriff.

Ok what went wrong? I had a designated driver right? Maybe I should have given my keys to a friend to hold on to. That might have only delayed the inevitable though. Hmm the only thing I can think of is this: I got used to getting behind the wheel after drinking. I would go out after work or to a friend's house and have like 2 or 3 beers. Then I would drive home. Dangerous? In the short term not really. In the long run-- totally. Alarm bells should have gone off when I jumped behind the wheel of my Ford Tempo that night but they didn't. Because I was totally comfortable there. Now I have hella fees and fines to pay. Not to mention the counseling, drug testing, and fact I can't drive for who knows how long (3 month minimum). I even had to sell my brand new snowboard on e-bay. So a message to all your punks, skankers, ravers, b-boys, b-girls and college kids: Rethink your drinking (and driving) habits. You know things could be worse for me. I hope somebody can learn from my mistake. Meanwhile, see ya at the bus stop.
 
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