I've had plenty of crushes in my day. Though that's all it was. They never turned into anything else because they were either ridiculous or I was too much of a dork to take the next step. My first crush was in 2nd grade, mid-80s. It was totally silly and retarded because it wasn't going to happen. I'd have dreams about her and tell all my friends she would be mine one day. There was a certain female singer that was big then, not now. Yup, that's right, DEBBIE GIBSON. "Shake Your Love." Yup, I'm pathetic, I know it. If you're not laughing by now, you should be. I used to fight with this other kid, who ALSO had a crush on her, on which one of us would get her first. Though, of course, we were both stupid and never got Debbie Gibson. I just didn't have a crush on her, I also owned her freakin' tape! I think I had a poster or calendar of her too. Eventually she fell off the planet, and so did my crush on her. That was one of many stupid crushes I had.
I had crushes on some girls during my time at elementary and high school. Some students, some (cough) teachers (cough). Usually the girls that I liked in my grade didn't think of me as a boyfriend. Or girls didn't like me, because they had boyfriends already (which is still the case today). I fucking hate that. I also hate the "Can't We Just Be Friends" bullshit. Serves me right for being a friend or making people laugh first instead of trying to nail them. The problem was that I went to a very small school. My graduating class had 50 people in it! And maybe there were about eight girls that I thought were pretty, but mostly I was friends with most of them or couldn't stand to even talk with them.
The one crush that I had in elementary school was a girl that I liked from 4th grade to my senior year. She was probably one of the prettiest girls in the entire school. I wasn't obsessed that much, it was an on and off thing. Sporadically I would start to like her again (probably when she got dumped or did the dumping), but I'm such a moron when it comes to girls. I'd make her laugh with my jokes and be nice to her. I'm shy when it comes to this stuff. I guess I was, and still am, afraid of rejection. But I felt she just wanted to be friends and nothing more. A horny teen's worst scenario. So I moved on.
A more pathetic crush of mine was on my school's French teacher. She wasn't necessarily crush material, just something to look at in boring French class. She had a big chest so all the boys, including myself, would always giggle and make jokes in class. Especially if she bent over to help you with a problem and you spotted some cleavage. It's like Jerry Seinfeld once said, "cleavage is like the sun, you can't look at it for more than a split second" or something along those lines. One time my friend got caught, not looking at her cleavage, but for pretending to kiss her ass, literally. Good thing I didn't do that. I just stared when she was at the chalkboard, or helping my French.
Towards the end of high school, I entered that rebellious stage where I didn't want to hang out with anyone. That or everyone changed and became a bunch of moronic douche bags. But usually whatever girl I liked, it always seemed like she had a boyfriend. Their boyfriends were usually assholes too. Why do girls like assholes or the "bad boys," and all the good guys are left behind. I guess good guys really do finish last. |
