Snap Judgments & Predictions Of The 89th Academy Awards

Articles | By on Feb 23rd, 2017

Oscars

The Academy Awards are this Sunday, with Jimmy Kimmel hosting. The year wouldn’t be complete without Adam and Bryan making snap judgments & predictions of the Oscar nominations. We haven’t seen too many of these movies, but that hasn’t stopped us before!

Best Picture

Arrival
Fences
Hacksaw Ridge
Hell Or High Water
Hidden Figures
La La Land
Lion
Manchester By The Sea
Moonlight

Adam: La La Land will win because Hollywood loves movies about itself. Kind of like a dog that can’t stop licking his own butthole.
Bryan: If Manchester By The Sea wins, I guess it confirms that America is the most depressing country in the world.

Actor In A Leading Role

Casey Affleck
Manchester By The Sea

Andrew Garfield
Hacksaw Ridge

Ryan Gosling
La La Land

Viggo Mortensen
Captain Fantastic

Denzel Washington
Fences

Adam: Denzel should win, but Ryan Gosling will get it for being “brave” by singing off-key.
Bryan: I bet Viggo’s penis can sing better than Ryan Gosling in La La Land

Actor In A Supporting Role

Mahershala Ali
Moonlight

Jeff Bridges
Hell Or High Water

Lucas Hedges
Manchester By The Sea

Dev Patel
Lion

Michael Shannon
Nocturnal Animals

Adam: Supporting Role just means second best, and second best just means first loser. Screw this category.
Bryan: Someone must tell Jeff Bridges he’s not in True Grit anymore and to stop his toothless, groggy cowboy voice he’s been doing for several years now.

Actress In A Leading Role

Isabelle Huppert
Elle

Ruth Negga
Loving

Natalie Portman
Jackie

Emma Stone
La La Land

Meryl Streep
Florence Foster Jenkins

Adam: Meryl Streep wins everything. I’m surprised she didn’t win the Westminster Dog Show. But I’m hoping Ruth Negga gets this. Emma Stone should win for “most attractive version of E.T.”
Bryan: I want Meryl Streep to win just to see President Cheeto lose his shit over it

Actress In A Supporting Role

Viola Davis
Fences

Naomie Harris
Moonlight

Nicole Kidman
Lion

Octavia Spencer
Hidden Figures

Michelle Williams
Manchester By The Sea

Adam: Viola Davis is great but a couple more years need to go by before I forget that she was in Suicide Squad.
Bryan: Michelle Williams shouldn’t win just because she had to speak with a Massachusetts accent. I’d rather have my ears stabbed with screwdrivers than hear that accent.

Animated Feature Film

Kubo And The Two Strings
Travis Knight And Arianne Sutner

Moana
John Musker, Ron Clements And Osnat Shurer

My Life As A Zucchini
Claude Barras And Max Karli

The Red Turtle
Michael Dudok De Wit And Toshio Suzuki

Zootopia
Byron Howard, Rich Moore And Clark Spencer

Adam: So many good options! Who can forget that animated blockbuster My Life As a Zucchini??
Bryan: The movie that was animated will win!

Cinematography

Arrival
Bradford Young

La La Land
Linus Sandgren

Lion
Greig Fraser

Moonlight
James Laxton

Silence
Rodrigo Prieto

Adam: Wait, wasn’t the entirety of Arrival shot in a single room with a fish tank?
Bryan: The film shot with the most extreme aspect ratio will win. Nothing says “beautiful cinematography” like your viewers squinting trying to make out what they are seeing!

Costume Design

Allied
Joanna Johnston

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them
Colleen Atwood

Florence Foster Jenkins
Consolata Boyle

Jackie
Madeline Fontaine

La La Land
Mary Zophres

Adam: This is the part of the Oscars when I get up to use the bathroom. To touch myself. Cuz those costumes in Florence Foster Jenkins were s-e-x-y.
Bryan: Must have been so hard getting costumes for La La Land. Ya know, buying them at any store in America.

Directing

Arrival
Denis Villeneuve

Hacksaw Ridge
Mel Gibson

La La Land
Damien Chazelle

Manchester By The Sea
Kenneth Lonergan

Moonlight
Barry Jenkins

Adam: Mel Gibson is like the alt-right Steven Spielberg. He will win in Trump’s America.
Bryan: I don’t think Kenneth Lonergan should win because all he had to do was say: “Casey, act more depressing than you usually are.” That’s it!

Documentary (Feature)

Fire At Sea
Gianfranco Rosi And Donatella Palermo

I Am Not Your Negro
Raoul Peck, Rémi Grellety And Hébert Peck

Life, Animated
Roger Ross Williams And Julie Goldman

O.J.: Made In America
Ezra Edelman And Caroline Waterlow

13th
Ava Duvernay, Spencer Averick And Howard Barish

Adam: They are all great! And let’s remember – documentaries are just movies without the acting, story, costumes, special effects… wait a minute, are documentaries even movies??
Bryan: O.J.: Made in America is 10 hours long, so how is this classified as a movie? What is this, Lord of the Rings?

Documentary (Short Subject)

Extremis
Dan Krauss

4.1 Miles
Daphne Matziaraki

Joe’s Violin
Kahane Cooperman And Raphaela Neihausen

Watani: My Homeland
Marcel Mettelsiefen And Stephen Ellis

The White Helmets
Orlando Von Einsiedel And Joanna Natasegara

Adam: I can’t believe documentaries aren’t really movies.. What are they even doing at the Oscars?? We’ve been living a lie!
Bryan: This category should just be renamed Short Movie That Made The Most People Cry

Film Editing

Arrival
Joe Walker
Hacksaw Ridge
John Gilbert
Hell Or High Water
Jake Roberts
La La Land
Tom Cross
Moonlight
Nat Sanders And Joi Mcmillon

Adam: Certainly not Arrival. If I’m going to spend two hours looking at ink blots, I’d better get some psychotherapy breakthroughs out of it.
Bryan: If the editor of La La Land edited out all that annoying singing, then maybe I’d give this to them.

Foreign Language Film

Land Of Mine
Denmark

A Man Called Ove
Sweden

The Salesman
Iran

Tanna
Australia

Toni Erdmann
Germany

Adam: The Australian one because it didn’t have subtitles.
Bryan: The Swedes deserve to win an Oscar, just out of respect for that tragic terrorist attack that “happened” in their country.

Makeup And Hairstyling

A Man Called Ove
Eva Von Bahr And Love Larson

Star Trek Beyond
Joel Harlow And Richard Alonzo

Suicide Squad
Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini And Christopher Nelson

Adam: Suicide Squad got nominated for an Academy Award? The movie that made zero sense, instilled zero fun, improved zero lives in any way, and had a character named Captain Boomerang? There is no god.
Bryan: “Academy Award nominated movie Suicide Squad” I think I just threw up in my mouth

Music (Original Score)

Jackie
Mica Levi

La La Land
Justin Hurwitz

Lion
Dustin O’halloran And Hauschka

Moonlight
Nicholas Britell

Passengers
Thomas Newman

Adam: Nobody goes to the movies to listen to music scores. That’s like going to the New York Philharmonic to play video games on your phone.
Bryan: The Academy always picks the worst film scores to win. So i’ll say…Lion

Music (Original Song)

Audition (The Fools Who Dream)
From La La Land; Music By Justin Hurwitz; Lyric By Benj Pasek And Justin Paul

Can’t Stop The Feeling
From Trolls; Music And Lyric By Justin Timberlake, Max Martin And Karl Johan Schuster

City Of Stars
From La La Land; Music By Justin Hurwitz; Lyric By Benj Pasek And Justin Paul

The Empty Chair
From Jim: The James Foley Story; Music And Lyric By J. Ralph And Sting

How Far I’ll Go
From Moana; Music And Lyric By Lin-Manuel Miranda

Adam: I’m sure if the Trolls song was just those little creepy freaks farting into a megaphone, it would be more pleasurable than anything about Suicide Squad.
Bryan: You’re telling me the atrocious Ghostbusters song by Fall Out Boy didn’t make the cut?

Production Design

Arrival
Production Design: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Paul Hotte

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock

Hail, Caesar!
Production Design: Jess Gonchor; Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

La La Land
Production Design: David Wasco; Set Decoration: Sandy Reynolds-Wasco

Passengers
Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas; Set Decoration: Gene Serdena

Adam: I feel like Hail, Caesar! was just a series of production designs loosely strung together.
Bryan: Was there any production design for La La Land? They filmed in traffic, green screens and on back lots. Oh, so groundbreaking!

Short Film (Animated)

Blind Vaysha
Theodore Ushev

Borrowed Time
Andrew Coats And Lou Hamou-Lhadj

Pear Cider And Cigarettes
Robert Valley And Cara Speller

Pearl
Patrick Osborne

Piper
Alan Barillaro And Marc Sondheimer

Adam: Look, they’re all short. There’s room for them all to win.
Bryan: Pixar’s Piper was good. Although, not sure Academy will appreciate that the sandpiper eats the crab at the end.

Short Film (Live Action)

Ennemis Intérieurs
Sélim Azzazi

La Femme Et Le Tgv
Timo Von Gunten And Giacun Caduff

Silent Nights
Aske Bang And Kim Magnusson

Sing
Kristof Deák And Anna Udvardy

Timecode
Juanjo Giménez

Adam: Didn’t Timecode come out 15 years ago?
Bryan: You’re thinking of Time Cop starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Adam

Sound Editing

Arrival
Sylvain Bellemare

Deepwater Horizon
Wylie Stateman And Renée Tondelli

Hacksaw Ridge
Robert Mackenzie And Andy Wright

La La Land
Ai-Ling Lee And Mildred Iatrou Morgan

Sully
Alan Robert Murray And Bub Asman

Adam: Nobody cares about sound editing. Except me! I. LOVE. IT. Give me all the sound editing!!!!!
Bryan: I wonder if the sound editors actually recorded birds being chopped up by propellers for Sully?

Sound Mixing

Arrival
Bernard Gariépy Strobl And Claude La Haye

Hacksaw Ridge
Kevin O’connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie And Peter Grace

La La Land
Andy Nelson, Ai-Ling Lee And Steve A. Morrow

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
David Parker, Christopher Scarabosio And Stuart Wilson

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi
Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush And Mac Ruth

Adam: Isn’t there an app for this?
Bryan: I couldn’t make out what the fuck Forest Whitaker was saying in Rogue One, why should that win?

Visual Effects

Deepwater Horizon
Craig Hammack, Jason Snell, Jason Billington And Burt Dalton

Doctor Strange
Stephane Ceretti, Richard Bluff, Vincent Cirelli And Paul Corbould

The Jungle Book
Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones And Dan Lemmon

Kubo And The Two Strings
Steve Emerson, Oliver Jones, Brian Mclean And Brad Schiff

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
John Knoll, Mohen Leo, Hal Hickel And Neil Corbould

Adam: I loved The Jungle Book’s special effects of making the movie completely invisible in theaters.
Bryan: Doctor Strange felt like I was on acid, so I’ll pick that one

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

Arrival
Screenplay By Eric Heisserer

Fences
Screenplay By August Wilson

Hidden Figures
Screenplay By Allison Schroeder And Theodore Melfi

Lion
Screenplay By Luke Davies

Moonlight
Screenplay By Barry Jenkins; Story By Tarell Alvin Mccraney

Adam: To be honest, I haven’t seen any of these movies, in fact, I don’t even like movies, but let’s give this to Moonlight. I heard good things.
Bryan: Whichever screenplay was written in a Starbucks will win. Oh, all of them were written in a Starbucks? Hmm forget that then.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

Hell Or High Water
Written By Taylor Sheridan

La La Land
Written By Damien Chazelle

The Lobster
Written By Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthimis Filippou

Manchester By The Sea
Written By Kenneth Lonergan

20th Century Women
Written By Mike Mills

Adam: Okay, even though I hate movies and haven’t watched any this year, I did see The Lobster. It’s the best off-kilter comedy since Being John Malkovich. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re wasting your life.
Bryan: The Lobster should have been nominated for more, especially Rachel Weisz for having to subject herself to dancing to electronica music

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