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| Posted on September 29th 2007 by Dan |
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There's very little you need to know about me, but the little things mean a lot. For one, I call the greatest city in the world, Toronto, my home, and I centre my life around telling non-Torontonians they are inferior. Secondly, I'm a trained teacher without a job. Without a job? How can that be? It's just because Toronto is so awesome, and clearly not enough people are having children, and therefore there are no children to teach. Unfortunately, this leaves me in a position of utter joblessness.
I thought about the ways in which I could fix the situation. Obviously, I could supply teach, but nobody likes supply teachers. The only solution would be to steal children from other cities and bring them to Toronto so I could teach them. This was far trickier than I had originally thought. Apparently, some people don't like it when you take their children away from them and leave them in front of public schools. The children don't like it much either. Seems they don't much like school, which is weird because I loved school. But then again, these kids probably won't turn out as awesome as me.
Fortunately, none of the suburban families whose children I kidnapped decided to press charges. Instead, I decided to work full time on this website, which used to mean one or two reviews a week, and maybe an article about every six weeks or so. But then something awful happened. Bryan, the apparent lord of ReadJunk decided it would be wise for us to blog about our lives. And while I know that I'm incredibly important, awesome, and fully crucial to the survival of the human race, I didn't want to actually go through the effort of typing stuff on a regular basis. Luckily, one of the smuggled children that wasn't reported missing is still living in my closet, and I think he'll be a perfect scribe. If you notice severe spelling errors or cries for help, just assume that I'm passed out in a gutter or something. And please, enjoy my blog. Possibly enough to make me employable. |
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