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| Posted on April 30th 2008 |
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Look, there are three things in life that are definitely totally absolutely true:
1 - taxes. cuz those evil liberal democrats hate america.
B - Death. Cuz Death is a dick. Seriously, did yous ee him tryint to cheat at battleship against Bill and TEd?
C - Kilroy Was Here is Rush's greatest epic sci-fi concept album, even better than 2112
D - Hot chicks are the greatest.
But you know people, I'm thinking there's a fourth super-true thing. Its supercomplicated, cuz I'm a supergenius, but what it all boils down to is that; comic movies are... |
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| Posted on April 10th 2008 |
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The other day I was totally using my amazing super brain to think the other day, and I was thinking about crazy evil warlords of the past, guys like Gengis Khan and Alexander the Hun and stuff, guys who were all super badass and wouldnt think twice about putting an ax in you're brain and then laughing at you while nailing five hot woman, and I was like, man, my life should be more like that.
When I go to my super awesome high poewr corporate CEO position to work and all the other fry coo- uh, high powered CEO guys are all like, dude, you suck, I'd totally throw them in the... |
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| Posted on January 12th 2008 |
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So everyone asks me ,Fredrico your so smart, why don't you tell us the most best way to start this exiting new year we have here now that it is January of 2008? I( say okay, here we go. See, I was thinking super duper hard about his condundrum and I realized, the best way to start a year is to set a super awesome goal for yourself and then to follow through and CARRY IT OUT!!! So what was the great super awesome goal I decided on?
Well I thought about it, and realized I am already super awesome and totally brilliant and an amazing lover and all that but, what else could I do?... |
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| Posted on December 23th 2007 |
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| The other day, I saw this sign in a store, and it totally said "Happy holidays!" This is an affront to all Christians because by God, there's only ONE holiday this time of year, CHRISTMAS, and if anyone tries to dismiss the Christ with the stupid generic "holidays", they're TOTALLY opressing me! What a bunch of jerkasses. I mean, come on! Santa Clause must be rolling over in his grave! Next time someone wishes me happy holidays, I'm going to punch them in the face, spit on them when they fall to the ground, maybe kick them in the nards if its a dude, and yell "This is for Jesus, you jerk!"... |
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| Posted on November 26th 2007 |
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| I dont know whats wrong with todays generation. They have million's of crazy gadgets like their ipods and their computer boxes that fit on their laps, why back in my day a computer was a big giant box that had 20 mb of hard drive and a four color monitor and thats how we liked it! And remember 8 tracks? My god, these kids and their low-quality "digital music" don't know what htye're missing out on! And what's all this nonsense about portably DVD players and crap? My betamax wasn't movable and thats how I liked it! These goddamn kids, always entertained, not being totally SMART and PRODUCIVE... |
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| Posted on November 7th 2007 |
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Yeah. U! U know who I'm talking about. U no who u r. I hate u so much that I won't call u you, just u for short. So suck it!
So if I saw u walking on teh street and I punched u, people would cheer. If I walked up to u in ur house and kicked u, the police would give me like this totally awesome reward, like a thousand dollars. If I whipped out my gun and shot u, Our Great Leader The Heroic President George W Bush would give me one of those metals of freedoms that that one dude got for his excellent work on iraq and that other dude got for his excellent work on that hurricane... |
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| Posted on October 31th 2007 |
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Well its Halloween so I'll cap off my trilogy (or "thrillogy", lol get it?) of super-scary true-life experiences of horror with my scariest experience ever.
So okay, like this one day I was walking around, when suddenly this guy comes up to me and he's all like "Brains!" and I'm like, what, you need a brain, scarecrow? LOL and he's all like "Brains!" and then he grabbed me and tried to bite my head!
Now I used my awesome powers of noticing stuff to notice that his skin was all blue and gray and rotting, and I thought to myself, hey Fredrico, you sexy... |
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| Posted on October 30th 2007 |
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Well Halloween week continues with a super scary story, possibly my scariest story ever, about my true life experiences against my first vampire.
Well okay so when I heard there was a vampire in town I was all like, Hmm, probably one of those sissy Californians who dresses in mascara and drinks other people's blood to be like those sissy vampires in those sissy Any Rice books. Well guess what, I was wrong. I learned that when a vampire bat flew in through my window and totally turned into this super hot girl!!
I was all like, nice, it's a super hot scantily... |
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| Posted on October 28th 2007 |
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| Its halloween weeks kids which means its' time to scare you with some scary stories of true scares! Okay Ill start off with one of my scariest experiences ever! First off, I was in my swanky kitchen eating soup out of my high class soup bowl (it was chicken noodle because i was sick and doped up on like nyquil and dayquil and that funky purplish stuff that says you shouldn't drive or take other medicines when you take it, you know what I'm talking about, its anti cold medicine) and suddenly the lights went off!! It was daytime but I had my shades all pulled down cuz I dont want liberal... |
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| Posted on October 21th 2007 |
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A while back I wrote this: totally super brilliant and amazing article, exposing the evil commie hippie liberal messages so horribly intrenched in that last Harry Potter movie that came out. I got a lot of flack for it because people didn't beleive me, especially the ones to lazy to look on Potter author jk rowlings's website for that quote he said about how much he shunned conservatives. Well guess what. Now hes saying that one of the main characters is...
...parents, cover you're childrens ears...
...a... |
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