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| Posted on December 23th 2007 by Fredrico |
 
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The other day, I saw this sign in a store, and it totally said "Happy holidays!" This is an affront to all Christians because by God, there's only ONE holiday this time of year, CHRISTMAS, and if anyone tries to dismiss the Christ with the stupid generic "holidays", they're TOTALLY opressing me! What a bunch of jerkasses. I mean, come on! Santa Clause must be rolling over in his grave! Next time someone wishes me happy holidays, I'm going to punch them in the face, spit on them when they fall to the ground, maybe kick them in the nards if its a dude, and yell "This is for Jesus, you jerk!" I hate it when all the secular liberal hippy commies try to subvert the meaning of winter's one and only holiday, and also the only religious ceremony that's totally celebrated by every goddamn person on the freakin' planet. I mean, ask ANY upstanding red-blooded American what they're doing this Tuesday and they'll respond "Spending the day on my knees in Church thanking Jesus for saving us from the marauding hordes!" Ask any commie hippy liberal what they're doing this Tuesday and they'll tell you "Worshipping the dark lord satan with baby sacrifices!" and if they say otherwise they're DIRTY DISGUSTING LIARS. And anyone who doesn't give the first answer, anyone who says they're just spending the day with family or friends or whatever, is an EVIL DIRTY HIPPY COMMIE LIBERAL PIG who is really doing the stuff in the second answer. Yeah that's right. And you can kick 'em in the nard regions and yell "This is for Jesus and the good folks at Fox News who are totally NOT making a big issue out of nothing to distract their easily angered audience from real problems and issues facing the world! In your face, devil worshipper!" Also, I suggest we go to the local mall and beat up Santa and throw him out and replace him with one of those cool autorotica moving statues of baby Jesus, because if we're not allowed to erect our religious symbols on other peoples properties then WE THE CHRISTIAN MINORITY OF THIS COUNTRY ARE BEING TOTALLY OPPRESSED BY THE EVIL DEVIL WORSHIPPING GODLESS SATAN LOVING COMMIE HIPPY LIBERAL PIGS. Look in your heart this holiday season, youll know what to do!!!! |
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