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| Posted on October 30th 2007 by Fredrico |
 
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Well Halloween week continues with a super scary story, possibly my scariest story ever, about my true life experiences against my first vampire.
Well okay so when I heard there was a vampire in town I was all like, Hmm, probably one of those sissy Californians who dresses in mascara and drinks other people's blood to be like those sissy vampires in those sissy Any Rice books. Well guess what, I was wrong. I learned that when a vampire bat flew in through my window and totally turned into this super hot girl!!
I was all like, nice, it's a super hot scantily clad girl, come here baby, but then she smiled and she had HUGE POINTY VAMPIRE FANGS!!!!! So I was all like acting casual and like my usual supersmooth self, all like "Hey baby, wanna get funky" while casually and smoothly reaching carefully under my pillow, past my gun which I keep aas my GOD GIVEN DUTY AS AN AMERICAN (look it up, its in the Bible AND that constitution thing), for the sharpened wooden stake I keep under there for just such an emergency.
So she came over and was all like trying to seduce me with her heaving scantily clad boobies but I have many girlfriends who are pretty much supermodels so I was all like "Ooh baby lets get it on!" and then I stuck my wood in her LOL! Boy was she surprised that it was a sharp steak!
Then she was all like "Oh the horror! Thank you Fredrico, you great superhero!" and then she totally evaporated into a mist of dust! And I went back to sleep!
More to come...?!?!?!? |
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