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| Posted on October 31th 2007 by Fredrico |
 
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Well its Halloween so I'll cap off my trilogy (or "thrillogy", lol get it?) of super-scary true-life experiences of horror with my scariest experience ever.
So okay, like this one day I was walking around, when suddenly this guy comes up to me and he's all like "Brains!" and I'm like, what, you need a brain, scarecrow? LOL and he's all like "Brains!" and then he grabbed me and tried to bite my head!
Now I used my awesome powers of noticing stuff to notice that his skin was all blue and gray and rotting, and I thought to myself, hey Fredrico, you sexy studmuffin, perhaps this is a zombie you are dealing with!!!
So I was all like "Go away evil zombie man" but evil zombie man was all like "Brains!" so I totally whipped out my gun and gave him a faceful of hot lead LOL. But then some more zombies came out, and I was all like "Die zombie jerkfaces!" and I totally killed them all. But then suddenly this super hot girl dressed in black came up to me, and first I thought she was some stupid emo kid but no, she was actually hot and stuff, but anyway it turned out that she was totally an evil witch! and she was all like "I'm an evil devil worshipping monster who makes kids worship the devil with harry potter books before COOKING THEM ALIVE AND EATING THEY'RE SOULS LOL LOL" and I was like "Fudge, this is a bad situation of a mess you have got yourself into, Fredrico you handsome devil you."
Well just as my luck would have it a Frankenstein totally come out and attacked! So me and the super hot witch had to team up to fight the Frankenstein! ANd he was all like "Grrr!" and throwing children at us and stuff, but we were determined and we totaly kicked his ass off! And the super hot witch was all like "Oh fredrico I am going to give up my evil devil worshipping ways if you will only nail me good" and I'm all about turning people away from the devil so I totaly nailed her!!! OMG it was so hot!
So that night we're all in bed and then a ghost pops up! But it was't just any ghost, it was this evil devil ghost of evil possession and it was all like "i'm goint to possess you now, jerk!" and I was like "oh no you didin't, oh snap!" and the ghost was all ike "No! I am evil and scary! That won't work on me! Boo!" and the super hot witch was all like "Save me Fredrico, protect me you super sexy manly man" so I was all like "All right ghost, turn into a real person so we can brawl!" and the ghost was all like okay, but it didn't turn into a regular person, it turned into a zombie vampire werewolf Frankenstein!! And the super hot witch was all "Oh no, a zombie vampire werewolf Frankenstein! My worst nightmare!" but I was all like "Don't worry baby, I'll save you, but first I have to nail you again" so I totally nailed her while the zombie vampire werewolf Frankenstein watched and drummed his fingers cuz zombie vampire werewolf frankensteins aren't into porn and stuff, which is one of the reasons they have to be killed. So then I totally got into this brutal fight with the guy, it was all llike blood flying everywhere and then like a thousand other ghosts came out of nowhere and joined the fight but it was like those ninja movies with bruce lee where he totally ninja'd a bunch of generic bad guys to death, only it was me using my awesome superpowers to ninja some ghosts to death while battling a vampire werewolf zombie frankenstein, and in the end I totally kicked all ass everywhere, and then I nailed the witch a few more times.
Hope you enjoyed these TRUE LIFE tales of terrifying horror! The end!!! |
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