ReadJunk.com

Ask Dr. Jeff: Episode 2

• Advice Columns

Dear Dr. Jeff,

How do you deal with unruly family members during the Christmas holidays? Do you have any good tips because this will be one long turkey dinner if I don’t get your help!
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Advice from Jim Lindberg of Pennywise

• Advice Columns

Jim,
What is the greatest and worst thing about being a dad who isn’t your typical 9-5 guy?
- Future Dad

The greatest thing is probably that my kids think it’s cool that their dad’s in a band and gets be on stage and stuff, so that gives me little leverage before they’re totally embarrassed of me. The worst thing is having to travel so much and miss soccer games and piano recitals, but I think most dad’s make some kind of sacrifice so I can’t really complain. That doesn’t mean I don’t though.
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Advice from Joe Queer

• Advice Columns

Dear Joe Queer,
I’m a grown man and never had to change a tire before. It just never came up…So um, how do you change a tire?
- A Hopeless Man
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Ask Google Images Anything

• Advice Columns

Question #1
What is the meaning of life?

I guess we’ll have to wait on that one.
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Ask Dr. Jeff #1

• Advice Columns

Dear Dr. Jeff,
Tell me why the hell my printer always gets in paper jams and loves to NOT cooperate when I gotta print out enough paper that would destroy half the rain forest? Do you have any foolproof methods to get my printer back in line and behaving again?
Hugs and kisses,
Tree Killah
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Advice from Terror!

• Advice Columns

Dear Terror,
I work with six year olds. what is the best way to scare the shit out of them?
Sincerely, A Right Bastard.

Tell them how difficult life is, how hard money is to come by, how quickly friends leave, how diseases will creep up on us all and slowly drain and kill us, or just that Santa Claus isn’t real. You could also possibly play them some Terror.
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Have a question about meat?..

• Advice Columns

Dear Norby,
I have a pet Yorkshire Terrier named Scoobie. He’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. I love him so much, but every once in awhile I get this strange urge to lick him. You know, just to see how he tastes. And also sometimes I just want to bite him. I don’t know why, I think I’m c-c-c-crazy! What should I do?
–Puppy Lover in Arizona
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Chicken Soup for the Bouncing Soul

• Advice Columns

This may be a question you can’t answer, but what the hell. My boyfriend is in a band and will hopefully be going on tour sometime in the future. I have a huge problem with jealousy, which I realize is an issue I have to work on on my own. I do trust my boyfriend, but he’s never been on tour away from me for over 2 weeks. Is it a given that musicians cheat on their significant others while on tour? Is there any way I can make myself feel better about him being on tour surrounded by lame groupie sluts? It bothers me to even think of his band having girls on the bus after shows. How do the wives/girlfriends of the Bouncing Souls deal with this separation and jealousy (if any of them are jealous at all)?
Thanks, Adriane
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Ask the Virgin

• Advice Columns

Note: These are answered by a REAL, ACTUAL virgin that the READ staff knows! He doesn’t want to use his real name, but rest assured the man has NEVER had sex!

Dear Virgin,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. Both of us are virgins, so we’re obviously nervous about doing the “deed”. We both want to do it soon, but we want it to be special… How do we know when the time is right?
–Eager Beaver
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Chicken Soup for the Bouncing Soul

• Advice Columns

I wanted to know what your advice to be to a band that has been together for two years and as soon as we played our first show we got a killer response and even signed to an Indy label! but we have our problems like we’re not really stage savvy anymore (we’ve all been in touring band before but we haven’t seen a stage in 2 years). and so I want to know if theirs any advice you can give us and if not, if you could just hit our site surf it some and let us know what you think, you and the rest of the souls are our heros and It would mean the world to us if any of you could just give us a hey in our guestbook or a post on our forum, we really take all our motivation from the souls directly for our sounds and the lyrics come strait from my life so if you have any advice you could give us that’d be great!
Thanks for the Times,
Justin Edwards
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Chicken Soup for the Bouncing Soul

• Advice Columns

I know the Bouncing Souls are busy with touring at the moment, but I feel like I need some help just now. Me and my best friend have know each other for as long as I can remember, but it was only when he moved away that we really became best friends. He was visiting recently and it felt great to see him, but as soon as he leaves, he sends me an email saying that he likes me more than a friend, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I think I like him as more than a friend too. I’m really confused and I’m just looking for some advice. Thanks for your time – Erin
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Chicken Soup for the Bouncing Soul

• Advice Columns

dear bryan, i’ve been a souls fan for years (just fyi) and have always really been
drawn to your lyrics. as i meander through the jungle known as one’s twenties, i find i have less/almost no tolerance for people who play mind games and can’t be emotionally mature about things. these include, but are certainly not limited to boys who are super-into me until i decide i’m remotely into them, and so forth. i understand there’s the element of not-scaring-someone off to consider, but christ, is there a middle ground? any advice from such a brilliant lyricist and fantastic guy on how to combine my tendency to own up to my feelings without ruling out the dating of boys and having of friends would be sincerely appreciated… your #1 fan in new mexico, andrea
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