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Snappily performed, but the band is unbearably cheesy emo/mallpunk with sixth grade poetry for lyrics. To wit, and try not to barf:
"I feel my heart wide open and the butterflies fluttering by / Of course you'll never know it 'cause I'm just your typical guy who runs and hides. / I bet you never noticed that you whisper softly at night / right inside of those dreams / and your late night endings that tuck you away so tight."
Wow, even gay porn isn't this gay. Who writes this shit? I can only imagine the band meeting:
Brian (vocals): "Hey guys, so I wrote another song about how my heart is broken and can only be mended with the magical tears of unicorns."
Matt (bass): "Awesome! That totally rocks! And we should totally put in there about how sadness shadows my heart every time she walks by, and how I only find solace when I weep into my teddy bear!"
John (guitar): "Dudes, you totally stole my lyrics from my Princess Glitter keepsake diary. I wrote that shit in there last night! And who stole my sparkle glue??"
Chris (drums): "Not to interrupt, but instead of 13 songs about having our hearts broken in junior high school, how about a thoughtful treatise on Quebec's proposed secession from Canada, and the potential instability of hasty sovereignty. We can use the metaphor of oaks and maples in a forest."
(Silence.)
Joseph John (piano): "Fuckin' drummers man. Okay, so we're agreed to sing about our puppy love for actual puppies, right? Perfect, and just in time for our hourly group hug!"
I'm sure that's exactly how this album was made. How they found the time to record it given all their pajama parties and viewings of "What A Girl Wants" is beyond me. |
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| RATING & SUMMARY: |
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Bottom Line: Good music but it may chemically castrate you.
Overall Rating:
Reviewer: Adam Coozer |
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