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Written By: Fredrico El Guapo |
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It was a bright sunny day in space, and everyone was whistling and cheerful on the Enterprise, when suddenly a Borg cube came out of nowhere!!!!
"OMFG red alert!!!" Data yelled in terror.
"All hands brace for impact" Riker yelled.
"Battle stations" Captain Picard yelled, rubbing his bald head in confusion. "Data where did those borg come from?"
"I do not know sir" Data said.
"I want to break something" Worf growled from back, because h'es a Klingon and Klingons are TOTAL BADASSES.
"Fire proton torpedoes Worf, that will break them!" Picard yelled.
"Firing sir!" Worf yelled respondingly.
The torpedoes flew away and totally smashed into the side of the borg ship causing this huge dramatic crater of damage!
"Damage 1 percent" Data pointed out helpfully.
"Well crap" Riker said. "Let's phaserize them!"
Worf fired phasers at the borg but their shields totally blocked it because they adapted to the Enterprises weapons!
"Well crap" Riker said. "Phaserize them again. This time, change the frequency. They won't be expecting that!"
Worf changed the frequency and the borg totally weren't expecting that so they totally blew away another huge chunk of the borg ship!
"Damage now at three percent" Data said.
"Rock on" Wesley Crusher said.
"Shut up twerp" Picard said. "Fire the pirate cannons we had installed at the last star base"
The cannons fired and the cannonballs totally ripped off a huge chunk of the Borg vessel!!!!
"Damage to borg vessel at five percent" Data said.
Suddenly some Borgs beamed into the bridge and totally started asmiling people!
"Holy crap that guy just got turned into a borg. Phaserize them!" Riker yelled while he totally phaserized some stupid borg jerks.
"Resistance is putrid" the borg said as he asmiled some other guy who was hanging out in the background. Riker phasierized his ass back to the stone age!
But then more borgs showed up! Things were looking bad until Worf pulled out that ninja sword he always carries and totally chopped the borgs into little circuits and stuff!!
But more borgs kept on coming! And they probably would keep coming but then another space ship appeared! it was a big gray triangle of doom! And it totally blew the borg ship away with like one shot!
"OMFG that was awesome" Data yelled.
Suddenly some guys in white armor beamed onto the enterprise followed by a huge guy in black armor! They killed the borgs dead!
"Who are you?" Picard yelled.
"I am Darth Vader and I hearby claim this ship for the evil Galactic Empire"
"No freaking way!" Riker yelled. Vader totally force-choked him to death!
"Holy crap!" Date yelled. Vader totally lightsabered his arm off!
"Ow!" Data yelled. "I needed that arm to pet my cat!"
"Cat? Pffft. Stormtroopers, destroy him!"
The stromtroopers totally destroyed Data!
"Mwahaha," Vader said.
Suddenly a bunch of greasy disgusting star trek fans popped out!
"Holy crap that totally wouldn't happen because the borg would adaptionalize to their weapons and then they'd be assimilated" and then some of the star trek fans went back to cry to momma about how this stuff couldn't happen!
Sudde3nly some super suave star wars fans showed up, dressed in tuxes like James Bonds and each with two hot girls in bikini on each arm!
"It so would happen that way! Vader rocks your stupid starships! Recognize!" they said cuz they were totally cool like that.
"Waaa, waaa, it would not, I'm going to cry now" the stupid star trek fans said. Suddenlyh the stormtroopers shot them all! Ahahahahahahaha!
"Wow you guys are so badass" Worf said. "I wish to join you"
"That's cool yo. I'll train you to be my new jedi sidekick and we will rule everything" Darth Vader said awesomely.
"High five" worf yelled, high fiving Vader.
THE END!!!!! |
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