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| Hate Mail Follow-Ups By: Adam Coozer |
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Some people just don't know how to be respectful to another's opinion. We published this refreshingly honest review of Batman Begins by the acclaimed critic Adamo el Guapo, and the following are some of the small-minded, churlish responses we received.
From: Andy T.
Subject: your review on batman.
I have to say your article makes you seem as you are truly an idiot. You say you're a hardcore fan of the comics, yet it seems like you have never even read one! You question Bruce's training as if Hollywood made it up. You called Morgan Freeman Samuel Jackson, and said Bruce is played by the guy in Memento (which is Guy Pierce not Christian Bale) and called the Riddler, "Mr. Riddles". You cant even get the actors straight.
You clearly a fan of the old campy show rather then how the book really was. You even state that hopefully they'll bring it back to the way he is supposed to be, "fun and gadget packed cult character we all loved" yet you say all the gadgets made him look like James Bond. Hello......... That is what Batman is all about..
Anyone who does not know who Batman is and why he came about will be dumber for reading the nonsense you wrote in your article.
Editor's Note: Wasn't he bitten by a radioactive bat?
From:
Subject: Batman Begins Review
Dear Editor,
Whoever this Adamo el Guapo is that reviewed Batman Begins, should be fired for being a complete incompetent. He very obviously doesn't know the first thing about Batman or why he's called "The Dark Knight."
His review is so full or mistakes, it isn't even worth the effort of pointing them all out.
By the way Sam Jackson wasn't even in this movie ... Lucious Fox was played by Morgan Freeman.
Editor's Note: The Dark What?
From: joe f.
Subject: batman begins review..how wonderful you are...
Dear Editor
You have no idea what Batman is all about. The modern age Batman is nothing like our loving Adam West or our favorite Superfriends cartoons. That Batman was attempted with the last 2 of the old franchise Batman movies. If you are not familiar with Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams, or Marshall Rogers, or Frank Miller or Jim Starlin, or Alan Grant or Devin Grayson or anyone who has written or drawn a Batman story in 35 years then your opion, being the creative writer you are and the access you have, means nothing. You are ignorant and do not deserve to have preconceived notions on what you think Batman is.
Guess what, the die hard, real Batman fans know quality when you see it. Funny how when you hear about a book being adapted to film you read the book but you don't with Batman Begins, who has a good 3 decades of modern history and 66 years of classic history to choose from. You are the worst part of the media and really should reconsider and open your mind to how you see movies weather or not it is based on a popular character or not. I guess some people don't have enough knowledge or care to work hard before they critique a movie. I am writing this off the top of my hat so I apologize if this letter sounds a bit of of the ordinary.
Editor's Note: I'm the worst part of the media? You mean, I'm a filthy lying liberal?
From:
Subject: Batman Begins review
To whom it may concern,
Wow. This has to be the worst, least informed review I've read of any movie ever. It is an embarrassment to you and your magazine. I'm not sure where to start, but both the editor and writer of this piece should be fired.
I'm fine with the fact that your review didn't enjoy the movie. That's a different opinion. However, the different opinion is based on mistruths and misunderstandings of the character. Here's a starter list of the absolute ignorance paraded around in the article.
1) The Batman first appeared in the late 30s. Detective Comics #27- May 1939.
2) Detective comics 27 is not a "Graphic Novel". The first graphic novel did not appear until the 70s.
3) Bruce originally saw BOTH his parents die at the hands of a mugger, no matter what your review wants to think.
4) Robin, not Robbin.
5) The original comics were not "fun" that slowly crept in over the couse of a decade. It was mostly an answer to Mccarthyism.
6) The 1966 Batman TV series was an intentionally camp spoof, NOT an accurate portrayl. Even Adam West knows that.
7) The travels to China are clearly explained in the movie. Did the reviewer even watch it?
8) Alfred making his costume? Where did that come from?
9) SAM JACKSON IS NOT IN THIS MOVIE. That is Morgan Freeman. Is this guy joking? Did Andy Kaufman write this review?
10) There was no CGI on the Batmobile.
11) Guy Pierce (the thin guy from Momento) was not in this movie. batman was played by Christian Bale. Are you embarraassed by the gross innaccuracies of this review? You should be.
12) Mr. Riddles? That's it. I can't keep going.
Please, do your self a favor and don't publish this kind of drivel in the future. It's offensive and bad.
-Taylor
Editor's Note: Your bullet points make things so easy to read! I almost want to read them!
From: Jeremy
Subject: "Batman Begins Sucks"?
Worst review I've ever read. Not only were you wrong about the actor that "creates" his suit for him being Samuel Jackson, but your article read as if you hadn't even seen the movie yet. And to say that "the guy from Memento?" made Michael Keaton's acting look Shakespearian further validated the fact that you know little about movies, the process of acting, and the mythos of Batman altogether. If you go back, before the glam and gadgetry of Batman in the seventies, (how you apparently know him) you will see a slight facsimile of the character represented in "Batman Begins". Batman in the comics had very dark origins, he was a brooding and troubled character, and only during the bubblegum pop-culture of the sixties and seventies did he receive a drastic makeover. A makeover that turned him into the ludicrous joke of a superhero that you're familiar with. The "Joel Schumacer Batman" if you will. Also, his travels to Tibet are very accurate with the mythology, as this is where he received his training. He didn't just do a lot of push-ups and put on the suit. So for you to say that "Average-Joes" will like "Batman Begins" is in fact the polar-opposite of the truth. True Batman fans, that respect who the character is and what he stands for will love "Batman Begins". Average Joes that love and appreciate the contorted, happier version of this iconic hero will not like it as much, will probably hate the realistic version of a batmobile, and should probably just stick with "Batman Forever", "Batman and Robin" and the forthcoming Joel Shumacer masterpiece; "Batman---Craptacular Gotham Rubber Nipple Showdown!"
Bearing in mind this letter is from one Batman fan to another----
I bid you good day,
Jeremy
From: Jeremy
Subject: One more thing
One more thing I should've added...after reading Adamo's review of "Batman Begins" I've concluded that you're handing out jobs. How about tossing one my way?
Editor's Note: Sure, I think you'd make a great fluffer.
From: Billie E.
Subject: Re:How Hollywood Destroyed A Cult Masterpiece
I tried to read this review with an open mind, but when it became obvious that the person writing it didn't even HAVE a mind, let alone an open one, I had to write. How you can allow this dreck to appear on your web page is beyond me, but it's your call to make.
First of all, Batman didn't debut in "the early 1940's". He appeared in May of 1939 in Detective Comics #27. And what's more, 'Tec wasn't "a little-known graphic novel". It was one of the most popular and best selling comic books of it's time, not to mention the basis for the publishing company's name (Id est, DC - Detective Comics).
Second, BOTH of Bruce Wayne's parents were killed in 'Tec #27. Not just his father. And in case your reviewer wasn't aware, that's how it's always been in every incarnation of Batman on the page and on screen.
Next? Well, Batman has NEVER been "family fun". Yes, the Comics Code Authority works as a sort of FCC for comic books, but that still hasn't kept Batman from going after villains with murderous intents (because in spite of his non-killing policy, he HAS been driven to that sort of rage before). Nor has it stopped children from being killed of plagues released by Ra's Al Ghul, or kept The Joker from KILLING Robin and paralyzing Batgirl. Family fun? What kind of family are you raising?!
And on the subject of the villains, believe it or not, The Scarecrow IS a villain in the comics. But "Mr. Riddles", however, is not. I believe you're thinking of "The Riddler". But as for Scarecrow being scary in the movie, he's even worse in the comics. NONE of Batman's foes are "fun" or "zany". They're homicidal psychopaths. They kill and maim their victims and enjoy doing it. The Joker, for example, shot Barbara Gordon in the spine then proceeded to rape her, take pictures, strip Commissioner Gordon down and force him to view these images all in an attempt to drive him insane. And he did all of this without remorse because in HIS mind, it was the logical, RIGHT thing to do. Truly "zany".
As for the "CGI" for the Batmobile, there WAS no CGI. There were actual, working Batmobiles produced for those scenes, with a full 360 horsepower.
Also, Samuel L. Jackson wasn't even IN the movie. You're thinking of Morgan Freeman and, believe it or not, Bruce Wayne DOES use Wayne Industries R&D department for MANY of his gadgets. It's where he got his boat, his plane and many of his weapons.
Last, Batman DID travel the world to learn his skills in both armed and unarmed combat. He spent TWELVE YEARS honing his abilities, preparing himself for his task. He searched for every master of every technique he knew of and could find to learn their skills. After his body was broken, he was retrained by Lady Shiva, the best female MARTIAL ARTIST in the entirety of DCU to regain his physical and sense memory so that he could reclaim his place at Batman and continue his life's work. His ability in martial arts is what makes him such a formidable opponent.
But, of course, seeing how as the reviewer is "a hardcore fan of the comic books", I have no doubt he already knew this.
Yeah, right.
-Billie E.
PS: I'm using spell check on this email. It may come as a surprise to you, but you can also spell check HTML documents. Just a heads up.
Editor's Note: If what you say is true, why would you read such twisted garbage? You are SICK!
From: Morgan H.
Subject: Batman Comic
... was your review of Batman Begins ment to be a joke? I mean you claim to be a true fan of the comic and yet you claim that only Bruce's father was killed by robber.... in every single legitamite incarnation of Batman (including all embodiments in comic form) both his parents were killed. Also you claim that the 60s Adam West Batman show was closer to the comic than the Tim Burton movies or Batman Begins. Hate to break it to you, but the original comic was never "zanny". It has always dark and gothic, standing in stark contrast to the lighter superheroes of the DC Universe. Also Samuel L. Jackson was not in the movie. Morgan Freemon played Lucius Fox, who is in fact a canon character in the Batman comic. I don't know if all African American actors look alike to you, but Morgan Freemon and Samuel L. Jackson have little to nothing in common other than race.
By the way if you find the Joker's sense of humor more amusing than terrifying, there are two possibilities. Either you aren't the hardcore fan of the comic you claim you are and you are going by the completely inaccurate 60s tv show... or you have serious issues that cause you to twisted acts of perversion & homicidal lunacy to be lighthearted fun. The Joker is one of the most creepy and terrifying figures in comic history.
Scarecrow & Ra's Al Ghul are both classic Batman Villains. Ra's did train Bruce in the comic during his long journies throughout the world following BOTH his parents' murder. Professor Jonathan Crane (aka the Scarecrow), the Master of Fear, has terrorized Gotham almost as long as the Joker has in the comic.
If you ever want to look into what actual fans of the comic are thinking about the film, pop over to the DC Comic Forums, or similar sites where actuall followers of the Batman comic hang out & I think you'll be surprised. Batman Begins is getting more rave reviews from the hardcore Batman Comic fans then any other comic-based movie has from the respective comic fans that I can remember.
If you want a light-hearted two-fisted detective I'd invest in the DVDs of the 60s Batman TV series and stay outside a thousand mile radius of the gothic nightmare that are the Batman Comics at all times!
Editor's Note: The only gothic nightmares I know of are the fat girls who try to squeeze into black corsets on 80s night.
From:
Subject: Batman Begins Review
Dear Sir or Madame:
This letter is in regard to the Batman Begins review I recently read. Now I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions but the reviewer of this movie has his historical context and even the films history out of whack. The reviewer obviously has no knowledge of Batman beyond the few episodes he might have watched of the 1960's TV series. In the future it would be wise to verify an article before publishing it for others to read who might be offended or put off due to the inaccuracy of the contents of the story or article.
Editor's Note: As Confucius once said, only fools are wise. *gonggg*
From: Batgirl Beyond
Subject: "Batman Begins Sucks"
You're insane. And stupid, to boot. Leave Batman alone, loser.
Editor's Note: No, I will continue to bully Batman, the crybaby.
From: Murrin
Subject: Adamo el Guapo"s review on Batman Begins
Adamo calls himself a hardcore fan of Batman... and yet he spells Robin 'Robbin'?!? Plus, he had no clue that even in the comics both of Bruces parents were killed! Oh, and what was up with him not understanding why Bruce needed to learn martial arts?!? Was he supposed to learn them from his fairy-godmother? He appears to know when Batman first appeared... but never read it. See, when Batman first appeared allllllllllll the way back in Detective Comics # 27, he was a vigilante who murdered criminals! He was dark, he was gritty, and he was... like he was in Batman Begins! Then Robin, or Robbin, as Adamo calls him, was sent in to lighten him up. Slowly but surely, Batman began to stray from his intended design as a dark, brooding creature of the night. So, in the fifties, he was whittled down by sci-fi. In the sixties, though, he lost it all and became a comedian. From a dark, brooding creature of the night to a comedian?!? Adamo seems to have only read a couple comics from the sixties, if any at all. Maybe he just grew up on the old television series. Or perhaps he's just making up all the crap he spouted! Regardless, to save Batman, Denny O' Neil and Neal Adams restored Batman to his intended design... darker then ever (though he didn't kill anymore, in fact he stoped after Batman # 1)! Yes, once more he was dark, brooding, gritty and frightning... and he had remained that way since. In fact, he got darker! He first Robin got shot in the arm and fired. His second Robin was murdered. Batgirl was crippled. He had his back broken. He's had his city a No mans Land. And recently, his city suffered a massive gang war. How did he deal with all this horrible loss? He got darker and darker! Recently, he's gotten more paranoid and anti-social than ever because his mind was wiped by his fellow justice leagers. Point being, Batman is a dark, gritty, brooding creature of the night, and was since he first appeared. Yet somewhere in the middle the books lost track. Notice the movies began this way as well. They began dark and brooding, and then lost track. Denny O' Neil and Neal Adams saved the books... and now, now Batman Begins saves the Batman franchise of movies!
Editor's Note: The Justice League would never wipe his mind! Superman and Flash would never do that.... maybe Hawkgirl.
From: KEITH G.
"things got back on track with Batman & Robbin and Batman Forever, but stunning special effects, refreshing acting, and cool new villains "
You have got to be kidding!
Plus "Robbin"? don't you have spell check?
Don't think I'll be subscribing to your site anytime soon.
Editor's Note: Aw crap, there goes my publishing empire.
From: Nick
Subject: batman begins review
whoever wrote that is not a batman comic fan. Yes Bruce Wayne went into training for a long time and yes he witnessed BOTH his parents die and yes that "cheesy" batmobile was how the original one LOOKED like. You coulda fooled me but whoever wrote the review WAS not a fan!
Editor's Note: I think I did fool you.
From: Adam B. C.
Subject: Batman Begins Review
Adamo,
You are a fucking moron. You know nothing about Batman and have no business reviewing Batman Begins for anyone.
[url]dcboards.warnerbros.com/web/thread.jspa?threadID=2000029241&tstart=0
Adam C.
Editor's Note: I will review it... FOR EVERYONE!!! AND THEY WILL LIKE IT!! Or they will be forced to do something crazy and not read it!!
From: Baja3927@###.com
Subject: batman begins
I agree Batman Begins is a terrible movie. Please spell-check your entire article and re-post to improve your credibility. Also, Samuel L. Jackson is NOT in the movie -- it's Morgan Freeman.
Editor's Note: Finally, someone agrees with me. About damn time. For a minute there, I thought the world had gone mad. |
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