ReadJunk.com - Hate Mail - Less Than Bright...

Hate Mail Follow-Ups By: Adam Coozer

The following posts were taken from various ska message boards where I posted my fake review of Less Than Jake's new album "Anthem". Names have been changed to protect the hornswaggled. Visit the ska forums at ocska.com, toasters.org, dcska.com, southernska.com, skapunkandotherjunk.com, ska.about.com, and bayareaska.com.

Some other mail follows the posts.

Bumba###
Aarrrrggghhhhh.........the last thing I would do would be to criticize on your taste, to each his own..........but your brief summary of ska's past needs to be looked at. First off "Toots and the Maytags" just sounds silly, its "Toots and the Maytals". The problem with saying that ska is a mixture of reggae and funk is that these two styles came after ska was established. Sorry, but the "Madness" song "Our House" was not a ska song. I have a problem with you saying that the Third wave was "Led by the punky charge of Less Than Jake, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Assorted Jelly Beans, Rancid, the Suicide Machines and others.....". Uhhhhhh....I guess the "others" would be "Toasters", "Untouchables", "Fishbone", "Donkey Show", and "Op Ivy". The other ones you listed before that (except maybe the Bosstones) came wayyyyyy after and did not really lead anything, only preceded tons of bands. Sorry, if this is having an elitist vibe to it, it is not supposed to. It is your review and you write what you want. And if it were just one or two things, I would leave it be.

Checkered ###
Whats a bunch of tripe. Less then Jake is one of the least Ska bands to come into the 3rd wave. While their original album was good as they moved on they used less horns and less Ska. Their new album is the weakest yet. No Doubt and Smash Mouth are disgrases to Ska. Sadly No doubt still uses Ska as a style of clothes insted of music. Rancid was never part of the 3rd wave persay yes they experimented with it and both albums were cool, but hardly 3rd wave Ska. Id have to disagree with the above statement that "Our House wasnt ska", it had more pop into but still had some good 2-tone roots. 2-tone never fizzeled out its still going just never made it big here(even though record sales are still pretty good). They have huge concerts overseas all the time.

###InASuitcase
yea when i first got the cd i didnt like it that much at all, but now it has basically been the only thing in my cd player for a month. It is so fucking awesome, very very intense, jst damned good rock, I love love it alot. my favorite songs are welcome ot the new south, ghost of me and you, the science of selling yourself short, motown never sounded so good, screws fall out, and of course plastic cup politics. Basically the cd is bad ass and of right now it is my favorite LTJ of all time. O yea and if you dont like less than jake that is great but i really dont see any reason to post it on this thread I think this thread is more about people who like LTJ and want to discuss the new cd. But whatever you guys are going to be idiots about it anyway so have fun

RocknRollis###
I'm sorry but I have to comment:
-As mentioned before, Toots and the MayTALS
-Losing Streak wasn't LTJ's debut album, Pezcore was
-I think saying Ska fizzled out with the Specials and Madness is pretty rediculos
-Diehard fans fled the scene? Wouldn't they not be diehard then? While the ska scene regressed, it's not like everyone left. There was still a strong underground following all those years.
-Album doesn't begin with "She's Gonna Break Soon"... maybe you have a BURNT copy?
-While there's some ska influenced stuff on there, you can't say there's 40 straight minutes of ska
-Short Fuse Burning and Surrender aren't really skanking songs, but I suppose that's in the eye of the beholder
-Green Day's "old school punk"? No, sorry
-Rancid is "new school" in comparison to Green Day? yeah
While it's cool you're doing reviews on a site and for more alternitive music, know what you're talking about before you spew out a bunch of incorrect statements. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying it makes you sound ignorant.

### Bones
Wait, so this is a joke right? For the love of God, tell me this is a joke!

###DERudeBoy
This review almost made me cry.

quote: Toots & the Maytags, and Jimmy Cliff. Even a young Bob Marley experimented with this funky sound!

*hangs head*
maytags??

quote: Unfortunately, this sound never caught on and fizzled out after a few years. (Remember "Our House"...?)

Our House wasn't even ska! just played by a ska band. *sigh* I guess it did have horns...

quote: (Trivia trivia - today's Jimmy Eat World fan was yesterday's Bosstones fan!)

you know? everyone's been saying this... but I don't know quite how true it is.

Cause BossToneS were "popular" when I was a junior/senior in High School. now I just graduated High School, which means that there's a four-year or more gap between what people thought was cool.

Is this true, then, that the same people just followed the trends around? I know I haven't encountered it. But then again, no one in my High School even though Reel Big Fish was cool when they were played on Y100.

Lastly...

quote: In fact, I don't think I've heard such a good album since the Bosstone's Let's Face It.

you know?
... nevermind.

2-toneE###
"Less Than Jake have redefined ska music and catapulted what is now called "the third wave of ska."
i cant believe they wrote that. do people actually know anything about a genre before they start jibba jabbering about it? i like their spelling of Toots and the maytals..."Toots & the Maytags"

dancecraze###
That was one of the most ill-informed, oversimplified and just plain sophomoric reviews I've read in quite some time. I've got no great love nor dislike of Less Than Jake, and I'm sure the CD is fine, but the broad generalizations and misreading (just plain lack of knowlege?) of Ska history is a slight to the pioneers of the artform and a perpetuation of the myth that Reggae and Punk birthed Ska.

To quote:
...a meeting between reggae, Caribbean music, jazz, and funk!?!
Toots & the Maytags!?!
Bob Marley experimented with this funky sound!?!
...this sound never caught on and fizzled out after a few years. (Remember "Our House"...?)!?!
...third wave, which appeals to all fans of ska?!?!?!?!?!?!

Other than the relative merits of the CD he is reviewing, about the only thing this reviewer seems to be accurate about is that "the resulting backlash (of Third Wave) set ska back by ten years."

Flame me if you want, but that was one screwed up, almost 'apology' for Ska.

Tim_Skapegoat
"The album begins with a downer, "She Is Gonna Break Soon", a weak track that is completely skippable. And then POW! Kick ass ska for the next 40 minutes."
Umm.. the album begins with she's gonna break soon??? Thats track 10, CD players usually start with track 1, and then progress to 2, 3, and so on. did this guy put the CD on random and then listen to it? I don't care what this jack says, Hello rockview = best ltj cd.

I wish everyone was like Chris.

From: Chris
Subject: Boy am I stupid

Haha, I just noticed my email on your website, in regards to what I am now aware was a fake review of "X-Men 2". I can only say that I am humbled by my own stupidity. In retrospect, the review was actually quite funny, and I can only kick myself for completely missing the joke.

Sincerely
A Total Moron
p.s. Jae Seo is the second coming

Editor's Note
Even after I revealed it was a joke, some people still don't get it...

From: "Courtney Rudick"
Subject: X-men Review

Ok that review the person knows nothing about x-men. Jean Gray turns into phoenix she didn't they mad it look like it. Nightcraweler was speaking with a german accent. The girl he called Sabertooth, was lady deeathstrike. the "bullets that magneto had was iron from the guys blood. And that's just a starter list of whats wrong with that review. Please take it off. There are some people who shouldn't have freedom of speech.

Editor's response: But don't the X-Men battle for basic freedoms for everyone, man or mutant? By denying me the freedom of speech, Colonel Strypper will have already won.