The Loved Ones have a name and upbeat pop punk sound that fills the listener with warm fuzzies, good humor, and hope for a better tomorrow. Adam Coozer sat down with the band to find out why they're so beloved. Their unloving answers may shock you.

You are loved. What is your secret?
You get what you give.

Do you prefer to be loved gently by a father-like figure, or roughly by an uncle-like figure?
Neither.

Tell me an awesome groupie story.
No, your last question is annoying to me, so you get no groupie story.

Is pop-punk band The Unlovables your arch-nemesis? If not, who is?
No, we love the Unlovables. Right now, doing press is my arch nemesis.

Would you rather give up coffee or alcohol for a month?
I'd rather give up coffee in the evenings and alcohol in the mornings.

What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you on stage?
Falling down during the first song in VA beach in 06

If I won a date with the Loved Ones, where would you take me?
Definitely to a place where I could get a drink.

Are you for or against Kosovo's independence?
Can't rightly say, I know nothing about the matter.

How does your band intend to change the world?
We already have.

Tell me three secrets about you that nobody else knows.
Not a chance.

Why don't I have any friends?
Again, I don't know for sure. I'll venture a guess it's somehow related to your irritating nature though, as seen in questions 1-10.

You know who's a loved one? My cat, Rusty. He is very smart and cute and very much loved. Can he be an honorary member of your band?
Thanks for the interview.

The Loved Ones' new album 'Build and Burn' is out now on Fat Wreck Chords. You can check out their website here. They need a nap.