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| Written By: Adam Coozer |
1) You might be old school, but baby, you still look high school.
2) Can I see all your piercings?
3) I see you have a dog collar. Will you be my bitch?
4) I like your plaid spandex pants, but I like myself in them better.
5) Can I rip more holes in your clothes?
6) Are your pubes spiked?
7) Smash the state, but baby, don't smash my heart.
8) My hair isn't the only thing standing straight up.
9) Capitalism stole my virginity. Can I steal yours?
10) You like piercings, huh? Well how about I pierce your anus with my cock?
11) You're only a riot grrl cuz you haven't experienced me yet.
12) Can I go dumpster diving on you… if ya know what I mean?
13) You're a squatter? How bout you squat on my crotch?
14) Wanna find out why they call me crusty?
15) I'm straight-edge but I got drunk looking at you.
16) I love you from A to Zine.
17) I had sex with all the Donnas, even the fat one.
18) Are your pubes also purple?
19) You put the snatch in the Bodysnatchers.
20) The Specials? The only special thing here is you.
21) My mohawk isn't the only thing that's big and stiff.
22) I love the way you skank, you dirty skank.
23) My head isn't the only thing completely shaved.
24) I like pork pies, so how about I pork your pie?
25) You're emo too?! Let's hold each other and sob.
26) Would you like to lick the vomit off the front of my shirt?
27) I may be nailed to the X, but I'd rather nail you.
28) I'm horny for ska. Get it? Cuz ska's got horns? Y'know? Ah, let's screw.
29) Do you like the band 7 Seconds? Cuz that's how long I last, baby.
30) If you think I reek of sweat from skanking, you should smell me in bed.
31) Yes, I'm a skinhead author. I wrote The Oi! Of Sex.
32) Hi, I'm in the Slackers.
33) Wanna carve the anarchy symbol on each other?
34) You are SO working class. Now work that ass!
35) Aren't Dr. Frank's lyrics so romantic?
36) I put the X in sXe, baby!
37) I'm into hardcore… hardcore lesbian action, baby!
38) I won't hurt you, baby. It's so small, it's been called a Minor Threat.
39) Don't be Stubborn-Jump Up and show me your Moon.
40) You're my Bouncing Soulmate.
41) Hey ho! Let's go! No, I mean, you're a ho so let's go back to my place.
42) You only read Maximum Rocknroll for the ads too??
43) Nice Docs, wanna screw?
44) We should have sex. Joey Ramone would've wanted it that way.
45) Let's go beat up some emo kids!
46) You're anti-Fascist, too?!!
47) If I could rewrite the alphabet, I'd put N, O, F, and X together.
48) You know, there's nothing more rebellious than anal sex.
49) Wanna see my Buzzcock?
50) Hi, my name is Adam. Would you like a copy of my zine, READ?
(This last one never works.)
From Issue #21
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