Hed PE – “New World Orphans”
Record Label: Suburban Noize
Genre: Rap-Metal
Band Link: link
Buy on Amazon.com
Late 90s college radio rap-rock-funk was bad to begin with, but is now mercifully, completely irrelevant. Sadly, Hed PE didn’t get that memo. Trapped in an unfortunate time warp, they embrace their dated pointlessness with Bush-era political rants, Biohazard-like meatheadness, and blatant theft of RATM and Cypress Hill.
Hed PE is best (and that’s a relative term) when they stick with rapid-fire hardcore delivery over crunchy, aggro rock and funk grooves. Their faux-dancehall and hip-hop, on the other hand, is seemingly willfully dumb. Self-important intros before every other song are irritating, and the aggro New World Order-like chanting over sirens is like a mentally challenged version of Ministry.
But Hed PE’s influences and melodic diversions would certainly interest your average doofy fratboy circa 1997. A song like “Family,” with its midtempo hip-hop rhythms, crunchy rock guitars, and upbeat, moshpit breakdowns could have easily been a college radio hit alongside Limp Bizkit. In other words, repulsive.
Bottom Line: I hope their fans don’t spit in my food at McDonalds.
Notable Tracks: N/A
Overall Rating: 
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It’s PUNK ROCK, shithead.
This review = FAIL.
So, you are mad about having so much garbage from a completely unrelated mainstream genre of music shoved down your throat by MTV that you lash out at an underground punk group that has been producing great music ever since you were a nutstain in your momma’s drawers? No one ever told you that YOU’RE FUCKING WACK, YOU BITCH-ASS MAINSTREAM MOTHERFUCKER.
Excellent argument, garglemyspooge. I had said that this band is aggro and dumb, appealing to the average doofy frat boy, but you have done much to counter that point. And when I said they’re dated and trapped in the 90s? Your references to nutstains, being wack, and spooge are phrases I haven’t heard since that wicked awesome kegger in ‘95. Clearly, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Perhaps we can talk more over Zimas. Hope we don’t wear matching parachute pants!
RAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!! FRATBOY SMASSHHHHH!!!!