Boat Trip:
2 Straight guys go on a cruise, but it's an all gay cruise. Though the two guys meet up with actual women on the cruise, only to find out that they have both genitalia |
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Bones:
Snoop Doggy Dog plays a gangster ghost. He must have been stoned when signing this contract. |
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Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan:
This got old as quickly as Yakov Smirnov. "In Mother Russia, movies watch YOU!" |
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Breaking and Entering:
Is this about having sex with a female virgin? |
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Bridge to Terabithia:
Two friends create an imaginary world in order to deal with their real-life problems. Like being dateless dorks who play D&D? |
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Bridget Jones's Diary:
Who the fuck is Bridget Jones?- MK |
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Bring It On:
Wow, a Cheerleadering movie..I guess they're running out of ideas for movies huh? |
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Bringing Down the House:
A lonely white guy meets a female convict on the Internet. Damn, they got the Internet in prison now? Murdering here I come! |
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Bringing Out The Dead:
I hate Nicholas Cage, I hate Patricia Arquette even more. Did you see her in Lost Highway? Oh my god, is she bad. Anyway I have to idea what this is about, tho it might be based on a Monty Python skit. Oh, and my friend Max plays a drag queen in it, so look for him / her! |
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Brokeback Mountain:
A movie about gay cowboys eating pudding. No really, i'm friggin' serious!! |
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Brown Sugar:
Is Rev. Al going to protest this movie as well because of the title? |
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Bruce Almighty:
They said it would take God to revive Jim Carrey's career... |
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Bubba Ho:
Tep- Bruce Campbell plays Elvis. I wonder if he dies sitting on the shitter too? |
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Bulletproof Monk:
Dude, where's my blackbelt? |
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Cabin Fever:
Kids get killed by something in the woods...shouldn't this be Blair Witch 3? Well at least Stevie Wonder's song "You got Cabin Fever" will be on the soundtrack. |
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Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
Nicolas Cage plays a mandolin. Dude, I got to get this soundtrack! |
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Captivity:
Elisha Cuthbert is held captive. I know what you’re thinking but…YES I have an alibi okay! |
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Cars:
Oh great, encouraging kids to get into NASCAR. Why not just hand out stale beer and wifebeaters to kindergarteners? |
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Casino Royale:
Wait a minute... spies and high stakes poker? Isn't this the same movie as If Looks Could Kill with Richard Greico? |
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Castaway:
Just sit back and you hear a tale, about a fat and skinny Tom Hanks...Who has no beard and then a big bushy beard who crashes on an island..original content!! |
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Catch and Release:
Jennifer Garner looks like a fish. |
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Catch Me If You Can:
Leonardo DiCRAPio stars in this con man story. He convinces everyone that he's straight. |
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Catch That Kid:
This must be about one of the many games Michael Jackson plays with his "friends." |
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Catwoman:
Yeah yeah you play catwoman, get naked already. |
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Changing Lanes:
Movie based on my brother's many road rage incidents. |
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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
This film is going to suck as bad as a Snozzberry! |
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Charlie Wilson's War:
What hair style will Tom Hanks have in this movie? Pompadour? Comb over? Jew-fro? |
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Charlie's Angels:
The trailer looked fucking stupid!!! but Cameron Diaz was in a bikini and dances around in her undies, good enough reason for me to see it! |
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Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle:
I want to kick in Lucy Lui's head and make her eyes not crossed. |
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Charlotte's Web:
Pig meets spider. They fall in love. Republicans are born. |
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Chasing Liberty:
All I know is Mandy Moore gets naked in this so I'll be the first on line. |
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Cheaper by the Dozen:
hookers finally have a bulk plan, the more you screw the cheaper for you. |
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Chicago:
Richard Gere in a musical? How does he dance so well with rodents stuffed up his ass? |
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Chicken Run:
Wallace & Gromit meets Animal Farm. Claymation scares the hell out of me. |
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Children of Men:
In the not-too-distant future, adults can no longer produce bratty, smelly offspring. My suggested title: The Utopian Paradise of Awesomeness. |
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Children on Their Birthdays:
Are fucking brats! |
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Chocolat:
Where's the E after the Chocolat? |
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Christmas with the Kranks:
The reason why Tim Allen keeps making Xmas movies because there's a lot of snow around, and he probably thinks it's cocaine. |
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Cider House Rules:
I heard that this book is really great and funny. I ought to read it. Or just see the movie. The really sweet smart kid from Pleasantville is in it. |
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City by the Sea:
Deniro as a cop, must be hard learning something new |
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Click:
Adam Sandler's character finds a universal remote that controls the world. I wonder if they provide these in the theaters so I can fast-forward to the end. |
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Clock:
stoppers- the hit TV show from the 80s, "Out Of This World", hits the big screen |
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Closer:
I'd kill 10 men just to get closer to sniffing Natalie Portman's butt. |
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Club Dread:
A spoof of I Know What You Did Last Summer 2. Um yeah, this is original. |
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Coach Carter:
I think i'd shit myself if Samuel L. Jackson was my coach. |
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Cold Creek Manor:
A prison inmate (played by Stephen Dorff) gets released to find that his house is now owned by some family and he wants it back, badly. a 5 year old kid can beat up Stephen Dorff. |
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Cold Mountain:
The Civil War is brought to you by the cold refreshing taste of Mountain Dew. |
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Collateral:
I wish the director would give me collateral for seeing this movie. |
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Collateral Damage:
"I'm very happy to be here" Arnold is back! For yet another mediocre action flick. Go do Terminator 3 or True Lies 2 already! |
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College Road Trip:
Raven goes on a road trip with her overprotective Father. Hopefully this ends with the car flying off a cliff. |
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Comedian:
(Seinfeld impression) "What's the deal with me having a documentary about nothing?" |
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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:
Directed by Clooney? GOOONNNGGG!!!! |
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Corky Romano:
Holy crap, this looks bad. If you thought Night At The Roxbury was bad, just wait. Chris Kattan will be fired from SNL after this one. |
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Cradle 2 the Grave:
DMX is part of a gang and has lots of guns. Now that's something hard to believe. |
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Cradle Will Rock:
Isn't this that movie with Rebecca DeMornay? Good to see she's still working. |
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Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles:
Mick Dundee fights off transvestites, OJ, the LAPD and traffic |
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon:
some realistic martial arts..oh wait, people don't fly up buildings. |
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Cursed:
Christina Ricci fights a werewolf. I wonder if the wolfman has nards in this? |
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Daddy Day Care:
Eddie Murphy taking care of kids. Wow, what a hoot! |
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Daddy's Little Girls:
The Woody Allen Story. |
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Daredevil:
Ben Affleck is blind. Maybe that explains his recent script choices. |
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Dark Blue:
Racist cops and riots, man..those were the days. |
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Dark Water:
Jeniffer Connelly tries to solve her water leak in her apartment. Oh, how scary! |
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Darkness:
Family moves into their new house only to find out that it has a haunting past. WHAT THE FUCK!? Didn't this JUST come out!!?? |
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Darkness Falls:
Okay, I think they ran out of choices for monster movies. First a leprechaun, now the fucking Tooth Fairy??!! |
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Death to Smoochy:
An assassin targets a lovable TV child animal. I wonder if this will happen with the kids who used to be in Barney? |
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Deliver Us from Eva:
Woman hire a man-whore to please their sister in law. Please don't tell me this stars Rob Schneider. |
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Delta Farce:
This looks to be as funny as a child with leukemia. |
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Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo:
Instead of Rob Schneider, this movie stars Adam. And it takes place in all the exotic places in Europe, where he has lots of sex with lots of people. Did I mention this was a gay porno flick? |
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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo:
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD MAKE A MOVIE. PLEASE STOP AT ONCE. ASSHOLE. |
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Deuces Wild:
People playing cards during the whole movie doesn't sound like a fun film to me. |
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Diary of the Dead:
Dear diary, Argggg brains Arrggh.. |
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Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star:
Which is ironic, because David Spade is a former star too. |
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Die Another Day:
Bond is back..and whoops, there goes his back. |
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Dinosaur:
YESS!!! I love dinosaurs. But this is a Disney movie so there will probably be singing cavemen and other lame, inaccurate crap. |
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Divine Secrets of the Ya:
Ya Sisterhood- Another movie girls will be dragging their boyfriends to. |
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DOA: Dead or Alive:
A bunch of half naked women fighting each other. You had me at half. |
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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story:
I once made a girl cry in dodgeball... And I wonder why I don't have a girlfriend? |
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Domestic Disturbance:
Most likely a movie about a white trash hick with his shirt off, and beats his wife. Some Bitch! |
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Doomsday:
There are big breasted women in this, I’m there! |
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Down to Earth:
Chris Rock plays a cracka ass cracka..how is that possible? |
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Down To You:
An oral sex flick? Nope, She's All That, Part Deux. A romantic comedy without the twist! |
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Down with Love:
A feminist and a dreamy playboy get together. Yeah right, sure. Dragonfly- Oh no, a dragonfly! and a bigger OH NO! Kevin Costner! AHHHHH!!!! |
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Dr. Dolittle 2:
Gee, I hope it's as good as Vampire in Brooklyn. |
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Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat:
I will not watch this in a box. I will not watch this with a fox. I will not watch it for ten bucks, I will not watch it cuz it sucks |
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Dreamcatcher:
4 men try to survive against aliens. Come on, Mexicans aren't that bad! (JOKING!!!!) |
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Dreamgirls:
Musical biopic for your Oscar consideration #54. |
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Driven:
If Dale Earnhart can't ride a race car, what makes you think Sylvester Stallone can.- MK (I'm going to hell for that, and you're all coming with me- Denis Leary) |
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Drumline:
Drum roll please...straight to video |
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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd:
Thanks for ruining a comedy classic with this pile of shit you assholes! |
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Duplex:
A couple tries to kill an old lady in NYC to get nice apartment. I got to try this! |
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E.T. the Extra:
Terrestrial- Great, more scenes for me to cry at. Man, I'm a pussy. |
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Eight Legged Freaks:
i'm more scared of the two-legged freak named David Arquette.- Adam |
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Elektra:
Ben Affleck isn't starring in this movie so Elektra will probably make a lot of money. But then again, I heard he makes a cameo. Oh well, there goes that. |
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Elf:
I wish I was born around a bunch of Elves. A certain "area" would seem gigantic to them. |
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End of Days:
Apocalyptic movie has apocalyptic box office success. Hasta La Vista, Arnold. |
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End of the Affair:
Never heard of it. Sounds British. Snore. |
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Enemy at the Gates:
Saving Private Ryan 2001 |
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Enough:
Of the "J Lo" butts jokes okay! I think her ass looks delicious. More cushion for the pushin' |
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Epic Movie:
This movie will be SO epic, that no one will want to see it! |
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