It Runs in the Family:
Stars all the Douglas' so appearing in stupid movies must run in the family. |
| |
Jackass: The Movie:
I'd like to see if one of these guys can staple their nuts to their forehead. That would be entertaining! |
| |
Jason X:
NOW this isn't fucking necessary. Jason..in SPACE???!!! D-U-M-B |
| |
Jason X:
Didn't I do a snap judgment on this fucking movie already? Get released already and go away. |
| |
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:
Is this the new name title for Star Wars Episode 2? |
| |
Jeepers Creepers:
Where did ya get those sneakers... |
| |
Jeepers Creepers II:
The Creeper attacks a bus filled of basketball players and cheerleaders. Hey, this sounds good! |
| |
Jersey Girl:
I bet this movie is about the only females left with high hair that still listen to Bon Jovi and have trans-ams. |
| |
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius:
Well it doesn't take a genius to figure out this movie is a stinker with crappy computer animation |
| |
Joe Dirt:
Oh Oh, when's it coming out on DVD- MK |
| |
Joe Somebody:
How about Joe Smoe, Joe Momma, and Joey Buttafucco? |
| |
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars:
How can there be ghost on mars yet. We still can't find human life there. |
| |
Johnny English:
Mr Bean becomes a spy. I wonder if Johnny English meets the Queen of England and gets his finger caught in his zipper too? |
| |
Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie:
An animated movie about...fucking vegetables? Wow..Gee, exciting |
| |
Josie & the Pussycats:
Sweet merciful crap, this is going to be awful. but they do look hot though |
| |
Jumper:
Let’s hope Hayden Christensen jumps into some lava again. |
| |
Jurassic Park III:
This better not be one of these Godzilla things like in A Lost World. |
| |
Just Married:
The story of Nicolas Cage and Lisa-Marie Presley. So I guess this should be called Just Divorced. |
| |
Just Visiting:
This movie will be just visiting the movie theaters straight to video. |
| |
Juwanna Mann:
Basically this about a basketball player from the NBA who gets banned and makes it on to one of the WNBA teams. So why wasn't this called Dennis Rodman instead? |
| |
K:
PAX- Nano Nano, Greetings Earthling |
| |
K:
19: The Widowmaker- The trilogy ends with Jim Belushi and that cop dog. |
| |
Kate and Leopold:
Man goes into the future and finds love. Hopefully not with a robot. That will hurt his willy |
| |
Kill Bill Volume 1:
Quentin Taratino's 30 hour epic about some girl with a sword. Shouldn't she NOT be killing and cooking the man dinner like a good woman should do? |
| |
King Arthur:
Experience the true story of King Arthur told by Jerry Bruckheimer with explosions, tanks, hummers, missiles, hot bitches and more explosions. |
| |
King Kong:
I bet if they showed you King Kong's turds, they would probably look like Jack Black. |
| |
Knockaround Guys:
Seth Green in the mob. Oh, I'm real scared! |
| |
Knocked Up:
I would love to knock up Katherine Heigl. But knowing my luck, she’ll just stay fat. |
| |
Kung Pow!: Enter the Fist:
Yeah, this looks like a winner. A movie that spoofs kung fu movies. Yup, that hasn't been done before. |
| |
Ladder 49:
Brought to you by the game Shoots and Ladders. |
| |
Ladies Man:
oh jesus, I saw this coming. please stop making these movies!! I'll probably still go see this..i'm stupid |
| |
Lady in the Water:
I was wondering when they were going to make a movie about Laci Peterson. |
| |
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life:
Lara Croft retires to raise a Cambodian baby |
| |
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector:
Jokes about farts and buttcracks. Larry the Cable Guy is a role model to 4 year olds everywhere! |
| |
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde:
What's red, blonde and bubbly and scratches at a window. Reese Witherspoon in a microwave. |
| |
Legend of Bagger Vance:
a golf movie. Z Z Z Z Z Z Z..what what? oh yeah, robert redford directed it..BORE!!!!! |
| |
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events:
It WOULD be a fortunate event if Jim Carrey died of a stroke from overacting. |
| |
Let's Go To Prison:
Is there nothing funnier than prison rape? |
| |
License to Wed:
I think I laughed more during Schindler’s List. |
| |
Life, or Something Like It:
A homeless man tells a woman that her life means nothing and is going to end in a few days. Yeah, I get that everytime I'm in the city. |
| |
Lilo & Stitch:
The little alien looks cute. Though Walt Disney himself would be tossing in his grave if he knew this was a Disney film. Oh wait, he's frozen. |
| |
Lions for Lambs:
When is Tom Cruise going to go the way of The Piscopo and disappear already? |
| |
Little Nicky:
Adam Sandler is a moron. this one he plays Satan's son..gee golly, must be funny |
| |
Live Free or Die Hard:
John McClane gets his first colonoscopy. |
| |
Live Free or Die Hard:
Live Happily or Watch This Movie. |
| |
Looney Tunes: Back in Action:
Yeah back in action BUT going straight to video. |
| |
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring:
This better not turn out to be some big pile of hobbit dung or millions of LOTR fans will be pissed, myself included. |
| |
Love and a Bullet:
Grosse Pointe Blank rip off. I don't know, I got nothing. |
| |
Love Don't Cost a Thing:
But it sure costs a lot for me! |
| |
Love in the Time of Cholera:
Diarrhea Love, now that’s a title! |
| |
Lucky Break:
That this movie ever got released. |
| |
Lucky You:
A professional card player competes in the World Series of Poker. He loses the competition and just ends up playing Star Wars Penny slots. |
| |
M:I 2:
I'm still trying to figure out the first long, boring, and incomprehensible Mission Impossible. |
| |
Made:
Holy Shit, Jon Favreau really did steal the movie idea from Christopher (Sopranos Reference) |
| |
Magnolia:
Three hours is a long time to sit through a movie. Especially if it's a drama. So I'm gonna have to pass. But get the soundtrack - my girlfriend Aimee Mann was the muse (and music) for the movie! (The director also did Boogie Nights, another LONG movie. Get it? LONG? Hahaha). |
| |
Maid in Manhattan:
J-Lo in a maid outfit. Daddy like. |
| |
Malibu's Most Wanted:
Nick Nolte, Anne Heche, and Robert Downey Jr. star in this film. |
| |
Man On The Moon:
Don't shoot the messenger, but folks, Andy Kaufman wasn't that good. He wasn't that funny, he wasn't that irritating, he wasn't much of anything. And ten dollars says you didn't know who he was until every channel started running documentaries. Based on a pretty good REM song that's reached overkill. |
| |
Mansfield Park:
Yay. Jane Austen. Again. |
| |
Marci X:
This will put Malibu's Most Wanted to shame for worst rap spoof. Hmm, maybe not. |
| |
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World:
Russell Crowe plays a sea captain and goes "fighting around the world?" I wonder if he names his boat "Tugger?" |
| |
Matchstick Men:
Nicholas Cage plays a con man. He also conned the director into hiring him. |
| |
Mean Girls:
I liked the first title better: Cunts |
| |
Meet the Browns:
Who the hell is Tyler Perry and why does he keep making the same movies and dressing up like old ladies? |
| |
Meet the Fockers:
New drinking game! Everytime they mention the word "Focker" in the movie, drink up! |
| |
Meet the Parents:
Deniro kicks in some fucking heads, but he's a parent. You talking to me son? |
| |
Memoirs of a Geisha:
Wake me up when I grow a vagina... |
| |
Men of Honor:
Deniro kicks in some fucking heads, but he's a Navy Diver |
| |
Mindhunters:
All I know is LL Cool J is in this so I'm sure he's the first to die. |
| |
Minority Report:
It's in the future and cops can find out when people commit crimes before they happen. So pretty much they are arresting themselves. |
| |
Miracle:
This will be a miracle if people actually see this hockey movie. |
| |
Miss Potter:
Renee Zellweger's face looks like my puckered asshole. |
| |
Mission: Impossible III:
Tom Cruise battles the fat guy from Boogie Nights. Um yeah, when do tickets go on sale for that....ZzZzZzZ |
| |
Monsters, Inc.:
seems scary. oh wait, this is done by Disney..still afraid |
| |
Moulin Rouge:
oh right! another dance movie |
| |
Mr. Deeds:
Is it just me, or does Adam Sandler wear the same shit in every movie. Time to spend some of that money Adam and get rid of the sweatpants. |
| |
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium:
I miss the days when Natalie Portman danced in her underwear in front of Clive Owen. |
| |
Murder by Numbers:
"Paint By Numbers" has taken a new spin. |
| |
Music and Lyrics:
Drew Barrymore is about 10 years past cuteness. But see this in the theaters - only the big screen can hold her baby fat. |
| |
Music Of the Heart:
Dangerous Minds meets Mr. Hollands Opus meets my butt. |
| |
Must Love Dogs:
I always say to myself, “you know, John Cusack really needs to be in a romantic comedy!” Yup, that was sarcasm |
| |
My Baby's Mama:
Also known as, 3 Men and A Baby...in Da Hood. My Baby's Daddy- 3 guys get their girlfriends pregnant. This movie should have been called 3 Men and the Broken Condoms. |
| |
My Dog Skip:
I love puppies. Hey, what ever happened to Air Bud? Oh, that's right, he died. That's too bad. |
| |
Nancy Drew:
Nancy Drew needs to solve the mystery of the vanishing audience. |
| |
Narc:
The story about a guy who look liked a NARC at ska shows. Oh wait, that was my dad. |
| |
National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj:
Someone in Hollywood has way too much money. |
| |
National Security:
Ex-Cops become security guards. They have people trying to kill them. Yeah, I doubt security guards have it this interesting. |
| |
National Treasure: Book of Secrets:
Nic Cage needs to be buried alive in Grant's Tomb. |
| |
New York Minute:
That's how long it will take me to watch this Olsen Twins movie without jacking off. |
| |
Next:
If Nicolas Cage can see into the future, then he should have already known this movie would suck. |
| |
Next Friday:
Ah, can't wait to see this. Friday is a modern cinema classic. It's upsetting that Chris Tucker couldn't make it this time, but hopefully he's busy making another Rush Hour movie, so all is forgiven. Ice Cube is a genius. I hear Oscar! |
| |
Night at the Museum:
Does this take place in the Museum of Played-Out Comedic Actors Who Should Be Bludgeoned To Death? |
| |
No Country for Old Men:
The country must not have any shuffleboard? |
| |
No News from God:
Gee, I could've told you that. |
| |
Norbit:
Why can't Eddie Murphy go back to sniffing cocaine; that way he will be funny again. |
| |
Not Another Teen Movie:
Gee, this concept about spoofing teen movies hasn't been approached yet. |
| |
Nurse Betty:
Sounds like a porno, but Chris Rock and Morgan Freeman are in it..ewww.."S-cuse me while I whip this out..AHHHHHH!!! YA CRACKA ASS CRACKA!!" |
| |
Ocean's 11:
I hope this isn't about the mediocre ska band |
| |
Ocean's Twelve:
Maybe Matt Damon will do something this time. |
| |
Ocean’s 13:
Just what we need, more inside jokes that no one gets and aren’t funny to begin with |
| |
