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Starring: Daniel Craige, Judy Dench, Eva Green, Mads Mickelsen, Jeffrey Right
Written By: Martin Campbell
Directed By: Neal Purvis, Robert Wade
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James Bond is back, and boy does he sure suck! Talk about a long boring movie! If I wanted to watch people playing cards for 3 hours, I'd put on ESPN. If there wasn't a lot of big chested women in this movie, I'm not sure I would have even saw this.
Casino Royal is the 23rd James Bond movie but only the second book in the Bond series. I thought James Bond was based off a TV series? There has been many James Bonds (since they have a short life expectancy), but they still continue to use the James Bond name. This time around he's a brawny blonde hair, blue-eyed Bond. People have been quite upset over this because James Bond is blonde. They should be more upset that Daniel Craige sucks as as actor but I can see why a Blonde bond might upset fans. We should all know that the first James Bond was a dark hair, blue hair Welsh man. I still think Timothy Dalton was the best Bond, followed by Richard Grieco and THEN Perce Bronson. Those Sean Connery James Bond flicks bore the shit out of me but people seem to like them for some reason.
The film starts out as you see Bond get his triple 000 status and have a license to kill. He then gets a mission to travel to some place in the Middle East to capture some guy who can climb walls like Spidderman. After killing that guy and the embassy he belonged to, he gets a lead to this banker who's part of a world trade organization. Le Chifee, who cries red sweat from his eyes, is one of the best poker players in the world and plans on holding a high stakes game. Since MI-7 knows Bond is a decent player himself, they decide to have him play against the terrorist banker and bring down his WTO. Before playing poker, Jim gets the help of a big chested woman named Vespa, and they end up falling in love. Of course James thinks with his dick and doesn't realize she's a two-face twat. But anyway, together, they have to take down the red sweat evil doer, and take his evil organization down as well.
I'm not sure why this movie needed to be almost 3 hours long. What's the sense of having a card game going on for an hour in the movie? This isn't celebrity poker on Bravo! I want to see Jimmy Bond kickin' some ass and banging hot broads. Which he did but there was no nudity, what the hell kind of James Bond movie is this suppose to be?! All the rest of the James Bond movies have nudity in it, at least the Bond films i've seen. Why was Judy Dench even in this movie if John Cleese or Robbie Coltrane weren't? Doesn't really make sense to me. I know Perce didn't want to be Bond anymore but at least give those people another shot at being in a Bond movie. I was happy to see Jeffrey Right continue his role as Felix though. The actor who played Le Chifee was all right, even though you couldn't really understand his Icelandic accent. Eva Green was nice to look at in the mid region, but her face seemed like it got hit by a shovel.
The action wasn't really that great or that believable either. There was no gadgetry or invisible cars! It just isn't a James Bond flick without special go-go gadget belts and invisible flying cars. I thought the chase scene in the movie was waaayy to short as well. At least make it interesting and long enough if you're going to show a chase scene. Not just have them climbing on some crane thing, and going through one building. And what's with the African guy running and flying in the air, people can't do that! The ending wasn't that great either because you don't know what happens to Vespa. You just see the cage fall in the water and you assume she died or escaped it. I don't know, I can go on and on about all the problems I had with Casio Royale. I still think License 2 Kill is the best Bond film to date. If Looks Could Kill could be the most entertaining though. |
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Bottom Line: Just stick with License to Kill, the only true James Bond film!
Favorite Scenes:I liked when we See James Bond get his Mansion and discover his underground secret lair. I also like Eva Green's breast the most.
Rating: R
Running Time: 180 mins
Reviewer: Wheezy Williams |
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