The new brick-heavy Harry Potter book is more of the same. This series is so formulaic, it's like the children's lit version of Perfect Strangers. Only instead of Balki warning Larry not to do something, but Larry doing it anyway and causing trouble, and Balki and Larry working together to fix the problem, and then reclining on the couch to reflect on the moral of the episode while corny music plays in the background, the following happens in each and every Harry Potter book:
• Harry spends summer vacation at his abusive uncle's.
• Harry gets whisked off to Hogwarts.
• Harry, Ron and Hermione talk about stuff.
• They take a lot of classes and do a lot of homework.
• There's a new suspicious professor of the Dark Arts.
• Harry plays some airborne foozball and captures the Flying Switch.
• Harry comes face-to-face with Lord Voldemore and escapes somehow.
• Harry saves the day, and Dumbledorf throws a feast in his honor.
There are some differences in this installment, however. For instance, unlike the other books, nothing exciting happens in this one. Rowlings should've called it "Harry Potter & the Piles of Homework" -- Potter and pals have to take their NYC Regents or something, so all they do is sit around and study. Maybe it'll be more exciting and jazzed-up in the film version, but it's boresville in the printed word.
Another change is that Harry Potter is now a complete and utter jerk. What made Potter so appealing to all these bookworm kids is that they could relate to a fellow bullied loser. But instead of Potter being pushed around like a shopping cart, he gets angry at people, whines a lot, and is generally a dour, unlikable individual. Aw poor baby misses his mama. Listen, you can fly and shoot fireballs at people; what the hell are you complaining about? I'd trade in my tax accounting and advanced auditing classes for Harry's dreaded magical potions class any day.
No longer enchanted with the series, I was able to realize things about the Harry Potter books that never occurred to me before. Rowlings has surely cast a spell over her readers, because few have been able to see how subversive her books really are.
No, I'm not talking about Satanism. These books in no way promote Satan, and in fact, seem to maintain Christian traditions (i.e. celebrating Christmas, Harry thanking Jesus after each goal in Quiddich, some of the spells are similar to the ones found in the Old Testament, etc.). But there is something strange going on.
Namely, all the homoerotic imagery found in these books: Harry and Ron playing with each other's "broomsticks," not to mention their complete disinterest in gal pal Hermione. Harry's Oedipal relationship with his father Sirius, the only man Harry "loves". Hagrid tying up a fellow giant in what can only be bondage fantasies. Neville LONGBOTTOM (yes, that's his name) constantly "waving his wand" to make the sparks come out quicker. Tons of mentions of the Slytherines, a snake-like group in the school (snakes are phallic imagery, according to Freud), while very little mention of the Hufflepuff group, hufflepuff being a British euphemism for a very hairy vagina. And so on. It is no surprise then that some say Lord Voldemore represents Harry's fears of becoming homosexual, as the Dark Lord has been described as "very tall and stiff, with a narrow red slit for an eye". Well, I can show you something tall and stiff, with a narrow slit for an eye, but it's in my pants.
This is not to say I have anything against gays or lesbians. I am actually for gay marriage, gays in the military, gays on tv, and gays in the church, and there's nothing I dislike about the male genitalia. But perhaps this much homoerotica simply doesn't belong in a children's book. Children are already very confused about their sexuality, and there should be no reason to deepen that confusion.
And speaking of confusion, all this talk about an important character dying in the book is complete nonsense. The worst character gets killed off, and believe me, he's no one serious. |
