ReadJunk.com - Latest Interviews

The Hamburglar

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 08:25:51 GMT

1. By popular demand, this is the exclusive 2005 Read Magazine Interview with the formerly incarcerated arch criminal and political crusader, The Hamburglar. The Hamburglar talks about Hamburger addiction, hatred for clowns, sibling rivalry, and Mumia Abu Jamal!
I appreciate you taking out the moment from your incarceration and tennis game to for this interview.

Don't mention it, besides, I need a break from the courts. My cell mates tell me my backhand leaves much to be desired. I’d like to start by maintaining my innocence and utter disdain to all those who abused their power to place me in confinement.

2. I presume you are referring to your long time denial of the crimes you are currently serving a life sentence.

Yes. This conspiracy, if you will, stretches from the highest tier of politicians who grossly misuse the governmental powers and responsibilities given to them by the working class citizens of McDonaldland.

3. What of all the evidence of your 30 year plot to steal hamburgers, not to mention your assault on Mayor McCheese in 1982?

First of all, I am the Hamburglar, the modern day Robin Hood as I was coined by my supporters in the past. If I am guilty of anything, it is fighting for the common people of the city I was born and raised. The real victims are the citizens of McDonaldland, those working for below minimum wage while the wealthy upper class gets fat on profit, sloth, and hamburgers.

Mayor McCheese is the charlatan, the real guilty one. Does anyone not question the position he has held for 30 years? Have you ever heard of a 30-year Mayoral term? At that point, Mayors cease to be and are simply dictators.

4. Your assault on Mayor McCheese was hardly an action done in the name of the citizens of Mcdonaldland. In fact, many people have called it a self centered and delusional action by a criminal and addicted fiend.

I am always the first to admit the curse of my illness.

When you have a debilitating addiction, nothing becomes real and you try to satisfy these needs at all cost.

5. You attempted to bite his head. You even attempted to decapitate him and place his head on a giant plate.

The man has a hamburger for a head. It forces the ill to do strange things.

I am very fortunate to survive that period of time in my life. Through the help of the clinic

and my personal dietitian, I was able to convert myself into a strict Vegan diet.

It was my salvation from addiction and near death experience from meat withdrawal that gave me the ability to see the magnitude of my dependency. It also sparked the genesis of my organization, the Anti-Hamburger Coalition.

6. Fortunately, for you , Mcdonaldland has its own unique legal and solar system.

Also, my attorneys at Grimace and Grimace were excellent. They got me a life sentence in dog years.

7. Your estranged half brother, millionaire playboy Alfred E. Neuman wrote in his autobiography “What Me Worry?” of his childhood experiences coping with your insatiable appetite for crime and hamburgers.

What was your response to the best-selling book?
That “book” is an incredible work of fiction with no validity to it what so ever.

Alfred is a chronic liar. He has and will always be. He owes his fame and fortune to me. It was I who coined the phrase “What me Worry?” The only thing he really has ownership to is “Robble, Robble,” a catch phrase I was forced to use after my first media exposed heist. Please, let’s not talk about this.

8. So Hamburglar, despite incarceration in the lavish minimum-security detention center of McPrison Estates, we hear that you maintain an extremely busy schedule.

I’ve been working on my second book, tentatively titled “I hate Clowns.” I still run the coalition, a full time job. My organization recently bought a cow for disabled war veterans recently. Oh yeah, I also played the lead in the McPrison estate’s production of William Shakespeare’s The Tempest. I was Prospero. It is quite good.

9. Tell us about your relationship with other famous inmates.

Well, I am in constant contact with Mumia Abu Jamal, who has become a really good friend of mine. We got in touch with each other after he started writing letters to me in praise of the charity work that the

Anti-Hamburger Coalition does for Vegans . He is a great guy. He gives me awesome cooking advice for gourmet vegetarian meals and new age diets!

10. Any last words to READers?
I will close with a passage by William Blake ( Hamburglar grabs a book from under his armchair and puts on his reading glasses).

“A robin red breast in a cage. Puts all heaven in a rage.”

The Tom Fun Orchestra

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 11:07:48 GMT

Hot off the release of their debut album, You Will Land With A Thud, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia nine-piece band Tom Fun Orchestra stormed their way into Toronto, playing a show for Canadian Music Week at the Dakota Tavern. Amidst all the alcohol, snowstorms, and old west imagery, I manage to find time to sit down with lead singer and guitarist Ian MacDougall for a chat.

1. How long has the band been together?
Ian: About three years.

2. Was it always the size it is now?
It started big, and then it got smaller, bigger, smaller – as small as five and as big as thirteen or fourteen.

3. Was the intention all along to create a big sound?
I guess, yeah. It was…to put on a spectacle. It wasn’t supposed to be a long term project; just a one-off ‘let’s put on a show’ with a bunch of unusual instrument arrangements.

4. I noticed on stage that it almost looks better when there’s less room for you guys. There always seems to be something happening.
Yeah, there’s a lot of bumping into each other.

5. Do you find as you tour around you get a lot of that, where there’s a small stage to fit all of you?
That one’s pretty small out there, but we’ve played on smaller.

6. What would you main influence be as a group?
All kinds, all over the place. There’s a guy named John MacQueen that most people haven’t heard of, he’s got an EP out….but it’s all over the map.

7. The first thing I heard when I listened to your music, and it’s partly because of your voice, is the resemblance to Tom Waits. I’m sure lots of people pick up on that. Is that a conscious thing or is something that just happened?
It’s how I learned to sing. It’s just something that works…something that appeals to me.

8. Is this your first time in Toronto?
No, we were here last year for Canadian Music Week. And we did a tour on a blue school bus a couple of summers ago. There were like 20 of us from three bands.

9. How does touring work out for you as such a big band?
It’s kind of ridiculous, but we’ve worked out a system. We have to be organized, but having such a big band makes it easier because everyone has a task that they have to take care of.

10. In Toronto, we’ve seen a large band mentality in the indie scene, with groups like Broken Social Scene. Is there the same mentality in Cape Breton, or are smaller groups the standard?
I think in Cape Breton, and in the east coast in general, there’s just sort of a tradition of playing music. Most people associate it with Celtic music and traditional music. It’s just that everybody plays music so everybody is sort of a multi-instrumentalist. It wasn’t really the idea to start this big band thing, it was just I wanted to do something with unique arrangements.

11. If you had to add one more instrument to the band, what would it be?
Oh, that’s a tough one; maybe a hurdy-gurdy would be interesting. [laughs] That’s my answer.

12. I noticed that the crowd really got into the music, and with the tempo and style you play, it’s pretty hard not to dance around. What has been the general audience reaction to your music?
People just, you know, like us all over the place. I was expecting, because we come from a punk rock and indie rock background – a bunch of the guys in the band played in punk bands before this one – so we were just kind of surprised at the variety of people that started to pick up on it. I’ve seen seventy-year-old ladies at the shows, and metalheads, and shit like that.

13. What is one album you couldn’t live without?
That’s a tough one…I’d say John MacQueen’s EP which doesn’t have a title.

Thanks for your time and congratulations on a great show and album.

You can buy Tom Fun Orchestra’s album Tom Fun Orchestra’s album You Will Land With A Thud from their website, www.tomfun.ca

The Loved Ones

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:10:04 GMT

1. The Loved Ones have a name and upbeat pop punk sound that fills the listener with warm fuzzies, good humor, and hope for a better tomorrow. Adam Coozer sat down with the band to find out why they're so beloved. Their unloving answers may shock you.

2. You are loved. What is your secret?
You get what you give.

3. Do you prefer to be loved gently by a father-like figure, or roughly by an uncle-like figure?
Neither.

4. Tell me an awesome groupie story.
No, your last question is annoying to me, so you get no groupie story.

5. Is pop-punk band The Unlovables your arch-nemesis? If not, who is?
No, we love the Unlovables. Right now, doing press is my arch nemesis.

6. Would you rather give up coffee or alcohol for a month?
I'd rather give up coffee in the evenings and alcohol in the mornings.

7. What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you on stage?
Falling down during the first song in VA beach in 06

8. If I won a date with the Loved Ones, where would you take me?
Definitely to a place where I could get a drink.

9. Are you for or against Kosovo's independence?
Can't rightly say, I know nothing about the matter.

10. How does your band intend to change the world?
We already have.

11. Tell me three secrets about you that nobody else knows.
Not a chance.

12. Why don't I have any friends?
Again, I don't know for sure. I'll venture a guess it's somehow related to your irritating nature though, as seen in questions 1-10.

13. You know who's a loved one? My cat, Rusty. He is very smart and cute and very much loved. Can he be an honorary member of your band?
Thanks for the interview.

14. The Loved Ones' new album 'Build and Burn' is out now on Fat Wreck Chords. You can check out their website here. They need a nap.

The Anxieties

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 06:03:42 GMT

1. Portland is many things to many people. To some, it is a city. To others, it is a place where you can live out your dreams and still eke out an existence. And to even others, it is an interstellar landing strip for moon kiwis. But that latter group are typically psychopaths.

To me, Portland is home to The Anxieties, a fun, dorkalicious punk band that knows what's what. Scott Von Rocket, guitarist and occasional singer, read me poetry and waxed philosophical.

2. Describe your band using a haiku. If the haiku does not follow the correct syllable rule or move me in a meaningful way, this interview is over.
Three chords, spazz, and snot

Let’s watch a B-movie or two

Sing our neuroses

3. Well done. So you guys sound like Boris the Sprinkler playing a rambunctious game of Jenga with Richard Hell. Now say something nice about me.
The fact that you would take time out of your busy schedule of worshipping Canadian progressive rock power-trio Rush to come up with questions to ask a three-chord punk band from Portland that no one has ever heard of is quite charitable.

4. Would you rather go a month without coffee or alcohol?
I’ve done both voluntarily. Actually, I gave up alcohol for almost a year and it was really pretty easy. Last year I was drinking a whole pot of black coffee first thing in the morning every day and I switched to just having a cup or two of tea instead for a while. Now I’m back to a couple cups of coffee with 1/2 & 1/2 and Splenda. I’ll say I’d rather give up the alcohol for sure.

5. If your band starred in a slasher movie, who would die first? And who, in a surprise twist ending, would be the killer?
Chris would get killed first. Nothing personal, but he’s the drummer and the newest member so that’s two strikes against him right there. The surprise twist would be that although Matt (bass player) was doing the killing he was somehow being manipulated into doing it by me. Probably through some kind of mad scientist stuff: radiation, telepathy machine, neon green solution in a syringe…something like that…

6. What was the worst gig you've ever played?
I'm going to say the first time we played back in Eugene after our move to Portland. It may not have been the worst we ever actually played, but the guys who used to be in the Eugene line-up were there and we wanted our first show in front of them to be really good. It wasn’t great and that was pretty disappointing.

7. Itemize the contents of your wallet. Be thorough and honest.
I don’t carry a wallet. My back left pocket contains my driver’s license, credit cards, and the all-important AAA card. If you knew the kind of luck I have with vehicles you would never go anywhere without an AAA card…

8. Describe a situation in which a girl is the cause of your band's demise.
See the aforementioned slasher movie scenario, but instead of me, the mastermind controlling us is an evil Eastern European Baroness who has managed to keep herself young by bathing in the blood of virgins a la Elizabeth Bathory.

9. What are you most anxious about?
At the moment? Trying to come up with answers to these questions that are witty and fun, but don’t seem forced.

10. If punk rock was a salad, which vegetable would The Anxieties be?
Bacon bits.

11. What is The Anxieties philosophy of life?
Just listen to the old Pork Chop Express and take his advice on a dark and stormy night. When some wild-eyed 8-foot tall maniac grabs you by the neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if you’ve paid your dues…you look that big sucker right back in the eye and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like this…”Have you paid your dues, Jack?”…”Yes sir, check is in the mail”.

Visit The Anxieties at www.theanxieties.com and www.myspace.com/anxieties.

The Challenged

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:35:00 GMT

1. What I had hoped would be a romantic evening turned into a band interview when I sat down with Colin, bassist and co-singer of The Challenged. In a neighborhood populated by hipster wannabes with vacant stares and fake heroin addictions, Brooklyn's The Challenged rock out highly energetic and catchy pop punk.

2. Tell me about your troubled childhood.
When I was 8, every kid in the neighborhood had a skateboard. Hard as I tried, I could never ollie. Also, I shit my pants a lot while primitively masturbating. Kids, right?!

3. What discourages you?
Sometimes, my SARS flares up, and I just don't want to get out of bed. But then I think, hey, that never stopped Lance Armstrong.

4. Is lasting happiness possible?
Is there something you want to talk about? Look, let's not go down this road again, Adam. We were young. I was in a weird place. I had to leave so I could grow. You will find someone else. I promise.

5. Why do you suppose that after tens of thousands of years of evolutions, humans still have trouble communicating with each other?
People keep saying "heighth", "supposebly" and "irregardless." That's fucking why.

6. What is your long-term goal and how will you reach it?
I've always wanted to be interviewed by someone with a giant penis. I will reach it by finding some strapper that's swinging some serious pipe, and ask him to interview me.

7. If The Challenged was a three-course meal, what would be the appetizer, entree, and dessert?
The appetizer would be oysters ROCKefeller. The entree would be grilled ROCK shrimp. and dessert? You guessed it: a nice fruit salad.

8. Do you think my having a huge penis has made me arrogant?
(Note to self: goal!) I think your huge penis has made you a national treasure.

9. Read any good books lately?
Yes. Half the Blood of Brooklyn by Charlie Huston. Go out and buy every book he has written. www.pulpnoir.com

10. What's your advice on overcoming obstacles?
Keep your knees bent, stay low, and run behind your pads.

11. If people want to touch my penis because it's so freakishly large, should I let them?
This question is crazy. Should Neil Diamond sing? Should Johnny Weissmuller swim? Should Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, use frontier practices to heal the sick? Share your gift with the world.

Visit The Challenged at www.thechallenged.com and www.myspace.com/thechallenged2

Teenage Bottlerocket

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 04:16:20 GMT

1. You guys are peppy, energetic, full of fun. Why? What is there to be happy about? Aren't you lying to yourselves?
Hi Mr. Grumpy Bear, nice to meet you.

2. We are nothing. Life is pointless. Death is everywhere. How do your lyrics address these basic truths?
We have one song about death, it's called Blood Bath At Burger King.

3. Your teenage moniker reflects youthful abandon. All that life ahead of you, no cares in the world. But aren't you disseminating false hope?
I don't think we are. We are just playing music we love, and having as much fun as we can doing it.

4. Our presence in this moment of time has as much effect on the world as a brief, gentle breeze. Do you think our egos and feelings of self-importance are a defense mechanism against going crazy from the utter meaningless of our lives?
I don't view my life as meaningless so I can't really answer the question.

5. Is love permanent or temporary?
I'd say permanent. You can't escape it or control it.

6. Do you think all of motivation is based on old-brain, evolutionary sexual drives? If there was no sex or libido, would your band exist?
Is this a fancy way of asking if I'm only in a band to get laid? Our band would exist whether or not I was getting it on.

7. Is there any greater emotion than regret? What do you regret most about your band?
That's a tough one. I'm not sure. Perhaps not getting paid in Columbus. I should have put my foot down.

8. Can I get a hug?
Sure man.

9. Ahhh.... I feel better now. Life is good. Ignore everything I said. Please don't kill yourselves or, worse, put out an emo album. So... how are you this fine day?
I'm doing good, it's -8 deg. Fahrenheit here in Laramie Wyoming today. Other then the rough weather things are quite well.

10. Oh yeah, tell me about your band, your latest album, plans for the future, etc etc. Just make it quick because Scrubs is on.
Sure, our latest record is entitled "Warning Device" and it is out now on Red Scare. We are doing a full U.S. tour to support it with Dead To Me, you can check out the dates here.

11. Thanks for doing the interview, even though doing anything is so very pointless.

Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 02:18:25 GMT

1. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones are making a triumphant return after four years. The band is playing a series of shows (The Hometown Throwdown) after Christmas in Boston and playing New Years Eve in Providence, RI. Of course, those concerts were sold out in the matter of minutes. ReadJunk.com sent some questions to Bosstones bassist Joe Gittleman, who was nice enough to take the time from his busy schedule.

2. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones are reuniting for the 10th Hometown Throwdown. Let's get out of the way the question everyone's asking you guys, and feel free to make up a fake answer - How did the reunion come about, and what's in store for you guys?
Not sure what's in store after the Throwdown. Speaking for myself, I missed playing those songs and thought it would be fun for us and people in Boston.

3. You guys are releasing "Medium Rare" at the end of the year. Describe this album in the form of a haiku.
Can't do that, thinking back to the 4th grade is too painful.

4. Do you worry that people have forgotten what ska sounds like?
No, I would only worry that if WE forgot.

5. If the Bosstones wrote a concept album, sort of like Rush's 2112, what would be the storyline?
I'm not familiar with that record. If I have any time left from the 2 minutes I alloted to knock out this interview I'll hit Wikipedia and try and hit you with something clever.

6. Does it annoy you when you're typing Mighty Mighty and Microsoft Word's Clippy is like, "Hey, you repeated a word, dumbass!" and you get the red squiggle underneath? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?
I don't have Word... Free trial ran out long ago.

7. What's the #1 perk of being a Bosstone?
All the car shows and weddings we get to play.

8. Conversely, what is the absolute worst thing about being a Bosstone?
Splitting the money eight ways.

9. Because of the plaid thing, many Bosstone fans are, how you say, dorkalicious. Does any fan stand out in your mind as being the most cringe-worthy? Do wannabe groupies wear sexy plaid things?
No such thing as "sexy plaid things."

10. Have you ever gotten into a fistfight during a show (with fans or amongst each other)? Which fight was the scariest?
I once hit a skinhead in his skin-head with my bass after a sieg-heil incident in Florida.

11. What is the Bosstones' philosophy of life and secret to happiness?
Have a good time, all the time.

12. What were you for Halloween?
Home with the lights out.

13. Can I be an honorary Bosstone? I can dance like a monkey!
Uh oh, two minutes are up...

The Bosstones currently have some videos on their Myspace page and their homepage. The videos are called "Road to the Throwdown." Check them out!

Hollywood Blondes

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:36:37 GMT

1. With the West Coast playing pussy emo and the East Coast playing guyliner garage, you have to head to the center of the country to find the true poppy punk that the Ramones left us before they abandoned this mortal coil. And so Youngstown, Ohio is where I found myself when my private plane touched down to meet The Hollywood Blondes, who emulate the mighty, mighty sounds of Screeching Weasel and the Queers.

Guitarist and lead vocalist Stiv Reynolds met me an hour later at his favorite massage parlor. Both of us face down and worked on by a wiry Asian man who looked strangely like Dee Dee Ramone, I asked about the incredibly hot girl hawking their infamous pink shirts on their Myspace page. Lying face down soon became uncomfortable.

2. Let's get the most important questions out of the way first. Who is the cute girl on your Myspace page? How did you get her to plug your gear? Will she marry me?
You'd be talking about Maite. She’s a kickass girl from Spain who fronts a pop punk band out there called Viernes 13. How [did we get her to plug our gear]? I have no idea. We became friends online and we sent her some merch. She’s totally rad and we thank her for it. As for the marriage… You’d have to ask her. Just make sure you know the 3rd and 4th positions.

3. I don’t know what that means, but okay. So you’re from this crazy town of Youngstown, Ohio. What's there to do here on a Friday night?
Watch cover bands, drink dollar Straub, go to strip clubs that don’t allow lap dances.... oh and smoke outside. It’s like hell without the flames.

4. What's your favorite kind of snack chip?
This is a TOUGH fucking question. I don’t know about Bagger and Billy but I’m always down with Sun Chips; the harvest cheddar or french onion. I also love Snyders sea salt and malt vinegar chips. Fan-fucking-tastic.

5. Wrong. The correct answer was “Tostitos Flour Tortilla Chips.” What's the strangest thing a fan has ever said to you?
Well, before we played in Jersey this past summer, one kid asked me to sign his sock. I asked him, "Don’t you wanna hear us play first?" That was weird, but that dude is cool. Some nasty older chick said "nice to meet you" and grabbed my cock at our last show. Later in the night she didn’t hesitate to show Billy and I her "unmentionables" while waiting for her ride on a busy Harrisburg street. Oddly enough, that lady hadn’t seen us play either.

6. What are three very important things that people don't know about the Hollywood Blondes?
A. We're not as big of dicks as people think we are.

2. We don’t have as big of dicks as people think.

III. We have new pink shirts.......I think you may have heard.

7. If the Hollywood Blondes were a type of repulsive, deviant sexual act, which would they be and why?
Well, a cleveland steamer would be just too cliche. Maybe bagpiping. Definitely not frodding or docking. If it were THE WORST deviant sexual act, wed be talking about the red sock. if you don’t know what that is, ask Batfish.

8. What puts you in a blind rage?
Me? I’d say my job. Working in a discount grocery store every night that’s in the heart of the ghetto isn’t really as glamorous as it sounds.

9. Would you give up the ability to play and write music for the rest of your life if it meant giving Joey Ramone 20 more years to live?
According to this, he’d still be alive.

10. Who in your band is the weakest link?
That'd be me (Stiv). I cant really play guitar that well. As far as strongest? I’d say Billy. He’s a machine behind those drums. Plus, he can actually play "other" styles of music.

11. I didn’t ask about the strongest and I don't appreciate your taking liberties with my questions. This interview is over. But following up - the Myspace girl.... think she's into me?
You're falling in a little deeper. I think you’ve got Spanish fever.

When they’re not quoting Chixdiggit, The Hollywood Blondes rock it out over at www.myspace.com/thehollywoodblondes. Their latest album is 15 Minutes of Lame.

The Jerks

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 05:05:52 GMT

1. There are many good things I can say about The Jerks. For one, they’re not emo. Also, they have never physically assaulted me (besides their music). And, finally, they have never taken a dump on my face (besides their music). I was intrigued by this unrefined punk band and I traveled down to the swamplands of Atlanta, Georgia to learn more about what makes this dirty bomb tick. I sat uncomfortably on a thread-bare, beat-up couch on their lawn, with Jerks members Hall and Jeff. A filthy, unkempt girl played with mud in the middle of the street.

2. Your music is sort of like a 5-year-old's idea of what punk should be. Oh, and this 5-year-old is also autistic and deaf. But how would YOU describe your music?
That kid’s ability to draw has nothing to do with our musical talent. Anyhow, as far as how good we are, deaf people happen to like us a lot, and we’re so good that people tend to get overwhelmed while we play and have to leave the room. In fact, at our last show, Ken from the Methadones said, “You really know how to clear a room.” Our band is, of course, only a small part of a company that Jeff and I have started called Party Killers, where we act as assassins for anyone who might need a party killed. In the past we’ve set up and played a party, not stopping until everyone left. We should have a website up soon, so be looking for us. We feel we’re filling a much needed void in the service industry.

3. But shouldn't you focus your energies on doing something productive, like greeting people at Wal-Mart or studying for your GED?
Hall: As college graduates (and, no, not from ITT Tech), Jeff and I have learned quite a bit about the world, which we think shines through in every one of our songs. I would challenge any non-college graduate to write such meaningful songs as ours. And Jeff is actually a teacher at the moment. We know that the children are the future, so why not give them some of our brilliant insights early on?

Jeff: My pants look like they have an erection. I don’t but I’m sitting down and it just looks like it.

4. Has anyone ever cried at one of your shows?
Only because they were overwhelmed by the beauty of one our songs, I think it was “FILF,” to be exact. Possibly while we sang the final verse,

“I remember how I used to like girls

But since I've seen this dad I've been in another world

All it fucking took was seeing him walk down the street

Now I traded in the taco for some balls and meat”

But seriously, we made these fatass kids from Tennessee cry because we played our song “That’s Cute” about girl bands, and they took offense. It’s hard to imagine that someone could take the lyrics…

“But the 70's are over

So get your ass to a stove

Get the guitar strap off your shoulder

Men are talking so know your role”

...seriously, but they did. After we played, we ran with the idea and they got so mad that they cried to the club owner. It was beautiful.

5. What's the worst piece of hate mail you've received?
We love each and every piece of hate mail we get, so it’s hard to choose. This wasn’t written directly to us, but it was most definitely about us, so I think it qualifies (as awesome as this is, we’re not making it up. Some guy named Joe Fish wrote it, and we cream our jeans every time we read it):

“Hey you know I hardly ever email you and when I do its never to complain, so please just hear me out this time ok. I love the Venue, I love punk music and usually all the people and bands associated with the whole punk scene., but I have to tell you if Tuesday night had been the first punk show I had been to I would never fucking attend one again, The Jerks were the biggest assholes I have ever seen, that fucking talked bullshit in between some of the worst fucking music ever played to an audience.”

I’m smiling after reading that again. Seriously, please send us more.

6. Would you take a batch in the face to further your career?
So that wasn’t you at the last show? Where’s our contract you promised?

7. Yeah… that wasn’t me… would you like me to further your career?
If you really mean it this time.

8. So, who is the biggest jerk in your band?
Fade to Jeff and Hall sitting on the couch, both intently listening to the interviewer. They look at each other and say:

Jeff: It’s Hall.

Hall: It’s Jeff.

Together: We both said each other’s name at the same time!

Cue laugh track.

Fade to next question.

9. Who is your arch-nemesis in the punk scene?
Ryan, this giant douchebag that after reading this will probably threaten to beat us up like he threatened to beat up a 15 year old a while ago because that kid didn’t like his band. In fact, it’s not just him, it’s everything he’s involved with, like his shitty website that reads as if it were written by an illiterate 12 year old and his stupid “record company.” He talks like he’s the next savior of punk rock but he’s really just a compulsive liar that somehow hoodwinks people quite often. In fact, Hall was in his band for two shows before he quit, as they were the worst possible shows anyone could ever play due to the major suckfest happening on bass (that would be Ryan). You know, sometimes it’s actually kinda fun to talk shit like this. Of course we’ll have to deal with him threatening us or something. Who cares. The guy is like a boil on the ass of the Atlanta pop punk/whatever scene. And it’s not like there’s much of a scene there anyways. But you know, other than that he’s a great guy. (Editor’s Note: ReadJunk takes no responsibility and assumes no liability for bands’ stupid opinions.)

10. I took a massive, giant, lumpy shit today. I think it even had a pulse. Can it be in your band?
Is it named Ryan? No, but really, sure. I’d guess it’s a better musician than any of us.

11. When you guys break up, where should I send the thank you note?
We’ll never break up. It’s hard to break up when you’re not a real band.

12. Plug your shit!

Well I mean Jeff does that pretty often. Oh, I guess you meant for us to tell everyone that we’re recording a new album “Please Take This Personally” in the next couple of weeks, and we should have shirts for sale by the end of the week. But in all reality, we’ll probably just end up sending the shirts to our future babies’ mommas in lieu of child support. And as always check out our myspace at www.myspace.com/realjerks. Also, check out the Gullibles, they're actually great and worth listening to: www.myspace.com/thegullibles. Fuckwits.

The God Damn Doo Wop Band

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 08:52:25 GMT

1. Kids today are going crazy with the doo wop. Alienated by “square” society, these troubled ruffians have found comfort in overlapping group vocal harmonies. And knife fights. Risking our lives, our crew traveled to the God Damn Doo Wop Band’s turf in Minnesota to talk about their album Broken Hearts and smacking down the Pipettes. We spoke with one of their three lovely female singers, Kat.

2. You know, I’m really getting sick of you punks and your doo wop. Back in my day, we had black metal and Japanese spazzcore and we didn't have school shootings. Don’t you think you’re contributing to juvenile delinquency?
Man, you would be surprised at how often we get this question. Like all the freakin' time. And every time the answer remains the same. Yes, yes I do. Not only do I think we're contributing to juvenile delinquency, but I believe that we lie at the core of it. We hadn't played a show since the end of June, and teen violence, drug usage, and the teen pregnancy rate in Minneapolis have plummeted. You could walk down the street and see all sorts of youngins helping the elderly across the street, carrying groceries, and at every school there were seminars given by teens about the dangers of underage drinking and premarital sex. None of which were mandatory to attend, but were every night packed to the doors. That's why we figure it would be best to get together again and play a show (with none other than John Waters as to "level up" the amount of depravity). The positivity in the youth of Minneapolis was frankly sickening to me.

3. Your band is comprised of three girls. How do you guys get along? Are you really catty and steal each other’s boyfriends and shoes, or are you as harmonious as your shared vocals?
The Doo Wop Band actually has six members, three of which are boys. Us ladies are just the vocals. All that boy shit aside though, it is pretty weird (at least to me) to be in a band with two other girls. We get along pretty damn well for the most part, but we have our moments. Fortunately, we all seem to have very different tastes in what we look for in a fellow so that hasn't been too much of an issue.

4. What are the perks of being in an all-girl band?
Umm... I don't know. Never been in one, probably never will.

5. What are your thoughts on male groupies? Charming or creepy? What’s the strangest proposition you’ve received?
Unfortunately, I don't think we have any of those yet, but I would assume it would depend on how one was to approach any of us. When I was in a different band I once had a fella talk to me a whole bunch at a show in a different town. A few days later my guitarist got a call asking for me and it was the fella from the show. When I asked him how he got that number he responded with "Oh, man. You don't even wanna know." That was creepy. Oh! I also had a fella straight up in the middle of a conversation ask me if I wanted to give him a blowjob. Oddly enough, I said no. These would be two excellent examples of how not to hit on a girl. Fucking creepy.

6. Would you give up the band for a lifetime supply of cupcakes?
Cupcakes? Nah. If you were to ask that question with beer instead I think all of the members of this band would take it into serious consideration.

7. Who are three punk rockers that you’d love to hear in a doo wop band?
Yowzers! That tough. Joe King would obviously be awesome. I mean, the amount of shit that he does that's doo wop/50's, 60's pop sounding is freaking awesome. I'm always bummed that the Queers never play that stuff live. It's sooooo good. Chelsea (Short Attention/ex-Unlovables) would be rad. We've talked a couple of times of having her record some stuff with us. She's got a great voice and that Short Attention song that they do that's doo wopish is pretty rad. And third, uhhh... Oh shit. Dr. Frank. He would probably be pretty awesome. His love songs are all so phenomenal anyway. If he were to write doo wop stuff I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself from flying out to California and forcing him to marry me. Huh. By looking at my answer, can you tell that I attended Insubordination Fest? Oh well. All of those folks are awesome, and that's just me talkin about lyrically or vocally. If you want a list of people who should play in a doo wop band, that list would be crazy. When we lost our drummer I really wanted to track down the drummer from the Teen Idols. He would be a great doo wop drummer. Rebel Souls is amazing.

8. Hypothetical: The Pipettes badmouth you. They call you out. Suddenly, you find yourselves squaring off against them in a wrestling ring. Describe what happens next.
Oh man, I was outta town when they played here, but I totally had images of this happening in my head. Not a wrestling ring though, just a straight up street fight. Describing it is tougher than I thought it would be. It'd be pretty gnarly, but I'm pretty damn sure we would win. We got a lot of anger problems, and those girls seem too nice and ladylike. Their little polka dot dresses would get all fucked up. Besides, I ain't scared of anyone who sounds so much like Abba. Unpopular thing to say, I know.

9. Finish this sentence: Canadian power rock trio Rush is to “shoo bee doo bee doo waaah” as The God Damn Doo Wop Band is to _____________.
...a passage to Bangkok. Totally.

10. What’s your advice to young kids who are interested in starting up doo wop bands?
It's fun as hell, but it's pretty interesting trying to get so many people together for practice (there used to be seven of us). If I had my way there would be two more vocals in this band, but dealing with that many people's schedules would fucking kill me. So yeah, be a real people person and be prepared to have people expect you to be a total novelty act. It's so much fun though. I would tell everyone in the world to start a doo wop band, but that would make it harder for my band then, I think. Whatevs.

11. Where are you taking this? What are your hopes and dreams?
Oh man. My dream would be to have Joe King give me a call and ask us to go on tour with The Queers and have them play all the lovey dovey songs I like. That would be pretty freakin' sweet. Where are we taking this? Hopefully, someday we'll make another record and have someone rad put it out for us. Hopefully, someday we'll get the van running and go on another tour. Hopefully, someday we'll get ourselves a permanent drummer. Shit man, we got no plans. We're just having fun getting people to slow dance and hearing people's grandparents and parents like us. Hopes and dreams just get fucked up anyway. If we don't have any, technically we can't fail, right?

12. Well, I have a hope and a dream…. See... um… *shuffles feet* I think you’re the cat’s pajamas. Will you go to the sock hop with me?
This would be the "charming" side of question four. And yes...yes I will.

13. The God Damn Doo Wop Band is awesome. Check them out at www.myspace.com/thegoddamndoowopband.

Groucho Marxists

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:17:07 GMT

1. Doc Hopper was legendary. Or at least pretty good. Honestly, I hadn’t noticed they broke up. But perhaps some people did notice and to fill that gaping void is The Groucho Marxists, who play that same delectable Bay Area pop-punk, this time by way of New Jersey. Doc Hopper and now Groucho Marxists frontman Christopher “Gobo” Pierce caught me at an angrily sober moment and I let him have it.

2. Hey, aren't you the guy who was in Doc Hopper? What happened to Doc Hopper? Huh? Huh?!
Yup, that was me. Doc Hopper came to an end because I lived in Jersey, Greg the drummer still lived in Boston, and most people hated us at the time.

3. What does the Groucho Marxists have that Doc Hopper doesn't?
Better songs with better execution.

4. You know, I don't like your smarmy good looks or your oh-so-cool niceness. Who do you think you are??
Blame the bassist Gary for his smarmy good looks, and our other guitarist Brian has the oh-so-cool niceness about him. I’m just a prick. A prick in a band.

5. So the Groucho Marxists. Are they the real deal? Are they the only band that matters?
We are the real deal. We can play our songs reasonably well. We play shows to facilitate our collective drinking problem. And no band really matters, except BLACK FLAG.

6. You've got some nerve, buddy.
So I’ve been told. Hey, I’m not just another pretty face, but I do put out.

7. Actually, you guys are not so bad. How has Canadian power rock trio Rush influenced your sound?
Thanks, we try. I’d like to think of us as the music that the protagonist in 2112 made after he found the guitar, before the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx told him to destroy it. And the meek shall inherit the Earth.

8. What is your goal for the Groucho Marxists and what is your 12-step plan to make that goal a reality?
We just want to make great records and play shows with our friends. We all have ‘real’ jobs so we won’t be gallivanting around the country like my last bands had done, but we will play the East Coast. It’s a labor of love at this point. Don’t do it if it ain’t fun. And I stay away from anything with 12 steps; its one of my irrational fears.

9. People laugh at me because I have a third nipple. What are some things about you that people mock?
I talk too fast. My head tilts to the left. I make obnoxious statements in public forums quite often. My new band sounds like my old band. I’m kind of a dick.

10. Do you think I'm angry because I'm unloved, or am I unloved because I'm angry?
You don’t seem angry. Would you like a hug? Perhaps a bong hit? I’d like a beer right about now.

11. Tell me a secret about each of your bandmates.
Gary is a modern-day Adonis mixed with Karl Alvarez. Austin raises horses and hunts people. Brian was actually stolen from the 1970’s via my time-machine. I like kittens. To eat, I mean.

12. You're from New Jersey, right? List five odors you smell right now.
I live in New Jersey now, but I am certainly NOT FROM New Jersey. I am from Maine originally, and then I lived in Boston until 1996. But Jersey does have a weird Band-Aid-like scent in certain areas.

13. Punk band Harpo Mussolini said you're a bunch of idea-stealing assholes. How do you respond?
Hey, we’ve stolen ideas from much more reputable people and bands, trust me. Have your people contact our people.

14. Analyze the last dream you remember and relate it to something in your past, resulting in a breakthrough revelation that will change your life.
I’m a new father. I don’t sleep enough to dream. In fact, sleep seems like a distant dream to me at this point. You get some wicked hallucinations when you are sleep deprived. Better than acid.

15. What is one, and only one, thing every person on the planet should know about the Groucho Marxists?
We like to play loud. Very loud. Probably too loud to play in your town. We have the loud police following us around to shows trying to get us to turn down, but it will never happen. The MAN will never turn us down.

16. Masturbation is to pleasure then shame, as your next release, MANIFESTO! is to______.
…aural ecstasy then public defecation. With your mom probably, since she said she likes us more than you.

Visit the Groucho Marxists at

www.myspace.com/wrappedinplasticrecords

www.myspace.com/thegrouchomarxists

Regal Beagle

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 03:49:01 GMT

There is only ONE pop-punk band that sounds exactly like the Queers and whose name is a Three’s Company reference. And that’s Regal Beagle. And maybe the Methadones. But Regal Beagle rock. Their new album “A Little Tide Up” will be out soon on Rally Records, and produced by everyone’s favorite lovable curmudgeon, Joe Queer. I sat down with bassist Jellybrown to discuss the atrocities in Darfur.

1. What is it about Screeching Weasel and the Queers that make you want to imitate them?
Jellybrown (bass): If you’re going to imitate a band, imitate the band that use the least amount of chords; it makes it harder for people to realize how bad you really are. Hahaha, actually it’s pretty easy to hear those influences in our music, because they are great fucking bands, but truthfully most of the guys in the band don’t really listen to pop-punk at all. Our new CD is going to sound heavily like the Queers - Joe [Queer] produced the thing and did some guest vocals.

2. Can anyone truly be "punk" if they're not on heroin?
Let me check my rule book, hold on…glue sniffing,check. Only drinks Bud, check. Cry in my beer, check. Yeah looks like the by-laws will allow it.

3. Describe to me the worst gig you've ever played.
Holy shit this is going to be tough, we have played some fucking stinkers. We’ve done all the usual crappy LA shows where you’re only playing for the other bands and their girlfriends. We played one show were one of the other bands wore pig masks and had 50-year old interpretive dancers crawling around on the bar asking people for shots of jagermeister. One of the funniest crap shows was in Vegas where we were promised $75 bucks. At the end of the night the promoter only came up with $65 (which was more than enough) but she felt so bad that she offered to blow a friend of ours in one of the nastiest restrooms I’ve ever seen.

4. If Regal Beagle were a disease, what would be the symptoms?
Symptoms include an insatiable craving for egg rolls and carne asada burritos, bowel control issues prior to public performances, a propensity towards impregnating your wife, and a love for steroids.

5. If you wrote a song about Jeff Goldblum, how would it go?
Probably start with 1-2-3-4, no more then three chords. The song would be an homage to the great work he did on Transylvania 6-5000. I would even try to cover the theme song to that movie, which was fucking awesome….

6. What do the ladies think of Regal Beagle?
They think it’s a bar on a sitcom, duh. Unless of course they know us, in which case they are married to us and likely pregnant.

7. Tell me about your first kiss.
I’m looking forward to it, it’s going to be awesome!!!! Haha, I don’t really remember, I’m sure it was awkward and my breath must have stunk.

8. Millions of children die everyday of starvation, genocide, and war. You could be using this time to help them, but instead you're doing an interview. What are you, some kind of monster?
I make the world a better place one cheesy pop-punk song at a time.

9. Rant about something random.
Why can’t I park there on Tuesday? Seriously, the fucking car is in front of my house. If the street-sweeper misses my side, I’ll take care of it, but no…instead I get a bullshit ticket. Besides, how am I supposed to remember what side is okay on what day? I’m not a civil engineer, but there has to be a better way. Oh yeah, and there is something happening in Darfur, I’m not actually sure what…but let’s get on that, maybe send them the money from my parking ticket.

Visit Regal Beagle on the Myspace at www.myspace.com/regalbeagle

American Steel

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 05:41:34 GMT

1. Why did you guys bring back American Steel? Chicks and money?
I'm afraid there is precious little of either. Love of the game my friend.

2. You guys have a new album out now on Fat Wreck Chords called "Destroy Their Future." Tell us a little about it.
This record is really the reason we decided to start playing shows again. I had been writing songs that felt like AmSteel songs to me, and we had decided that we wouldn't play again unless it was alongside a new record. Lyrically, it is largely about striving and encouraging others towards compassion, humanity, and a call to reason and resistance. Musically, it bounces around a bit as we are wont to do. It will probably be a little different and a little similar to those who are already familiar with us.

3. What's the funniest thing that happened to you while touring?
Hmmm...so many. One time we found a sun-bleached dusty old industrial sized can of peas. We all offered to give our bassist Johnny our per diems for the week if he could finish it during the 2-hour drive to Gainesville. He made it halfway, at times using a straw to drink the brine. I made him spit some out his nose when I said, "All we are saying is give peas a chance." He was very slow moving for the rest of the day. Almost as funny was watching our roadie nearly throw up many times due to a peculiar, and serendipitous phobia of peas! If you meet John, dare him to eat something

gross, he's incapable of refusing such a challenge.

4. How would you describe your fans?
I've often thought that people who listen to us would likely be friends of ours were we living in the same towns. Literate underachievers like ourselves. Music nerds.

5. Has anyone in the band ever been arrested? What happened?
Not in a long time. I was arrested for arson when I was 8 years old. It was unintentional, I was a pyro like many little boys. Ironically, I almost burned down the house of the lady who dressed up in the Smokey The Bear outfit and visited schools. Also unintentional. On a side note, it was the movie Uncommon Valor that inspired my act, so I guess movies do make kids do bad things.

6. Which tattoo do you regret the most?
I have only one and it is our shattered note logo. Ryan has a bunch, he and Brendan from The Lawrence Arms got each other's band logo on tour once, so I would have to go with that one since Brendan is a pederast now.

7. Tell me about the last fight you were in.
A guy sucker punched me on my own stoop a few years ago. I let him run away, but he came back and took a swing at my friend which really angered me. I tackled him and twisted his hand around until it snapped so there would be no more punching. I do not condone fighting, and I'm deeply saddened by violence even in self defense.

8. Who in the band is the a) nicest b) smelliest c) horniest d) most talented?
Me

9. Tell me a secret about another band.
The Lawrence Arms are into kiddie porn.

10. What are your plans for the rest of the day?
Tofu dog, Pabst tallboy and the Rockies/Padres one-game playoff. I just wish they could both lose.

11. Will you be my friend?
Fellowship and camaraderie is the most meaningful human interaction for me. I will be anyone's friend who is not an awful person; I will help anyone if I can.

Mustard Plug

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 03:33:17 GMT

1. Mustard Plug, thank you for playing the ska! Does it get lonely being the only one?
Yes. More lonely than you could ever know. I weep. My soul aches with grief. I cry into my porkpie hat. Only Bucket knows my pain. In fact we almost named the new album, "The Road to Skavation is Paved in the Tears of a Million Lost Rude Boys"....but it turns out Reel Big Fish is already using that for their next live DVD.

2. You guys play quintessential third-wave. But if you played, say, fifth-wave ska, what would it sound like?
I can't wait for the 5th wave. I'm already planning a crunk-ska concept album that recounts the theoretical meeting of Biggie Smalls and Ghandi in heaven (they end up in a fist-fight).

3. What is each Plugger's drink of choice?
Finally a serious question....

Colin - Miller Lite & Bloody Mary's

Jim - Jager Bombs and White Russians

Brandon - Microbrews

Nate - Big cheap bottles of red wine

Rick - Ginger Ale

Dave - Bombay Sapphire & Tonic

4. Tell me a hot groupie story.
Dude....it was so awesome. Once, this really hot girl who was like totally over 18 came up to me after a show. I was loading some stuff into the van and she said. "Do you know how to get to 2nd Street and Vine"....and I was like, "Uh, I'm sorry I'm not from around here." And then she said..."Oh thanks anyway"....and walked away. Dude, it was so rad!

5. What was the worst gig you've ever played?
Worst show ever? Easy. First let me tell you that we freakin' rocked. But we were playing with this band called the Skatalites that everyone said created ska. So I kept yellin' "hey play that "Impressions That I Get" song" and Yo!...old dude, play that "She's

Got a Girlfriend Now," but they like totally wouldn't play it. So I snuck into their dressing room and drank one of their beers. Douchebags!

6. List five things that put you in a blind rage.
1. Blind people. Especially the ones with those dumb sticks and dogs.

2. Local ska bands with 5 out-of-tune horn players.

3. People who drive down the road in their Hummers, talking on their cell phones.

4. Telemarketers, unless they're really hot.

5. Mornings. Hate 'em.

7. Who are the top three musicians you'd love to jam with in heaven? (Keep in mind that Rush are still alive.)
1. Bob Marley....but only if he's forced to play the kazoo.

2. Lawrence Welk (I miss him so much!!)

3. Dimebag Daryl... best drummer of all time!

8. If you wrote a song about Jeff Goldblum, how would it go?
I know I guy who's really really rad

The very coolest nerd that the silver screen's ever had

He's got big bulging eyes and was in Jurassic Park

You can't imagine how he's stole my heart.

Chorus:

Jeff, jeff, jeff your name is jeff

Jeff, jeff, jeff your name is jeff, Yeah!

Jeff, jeff, jeff your name is jeff

Jeff, Jeff and you're the Best!

9. How does one become an honorary member of Mustard Plug? Do you have any particular rituals or hazing rites?
I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you. Yes there is a ritual but it is top secret. Those that become honorary members are sworn to absolute secrecy. Let's just say it involves getting a tattoo somewhere only a licensed proctologist will ever see it, drinking extreme quantities of an unknown yellow liquid, and discovering your inner child and kicking his ass. All other details are TOP SECRET!

10. What is Mustard Plug's key to happiness?
Play music, eat good food, drink good drinks, make new friends and laugh a lot at yourself and others.

Mustard Plug's newest album 'In Black and White' is out now on Hopeless Records. For more info on Mustard Plug, visit their website at www.mustardplug.com. Thanks to Dave for doing the interview!

Chuck Ragan

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 06:42:45 GMT

1. What are you up to?
I’m doing a job in Venice beach. Windows, door, siding, all kinds of craziness.

2. How’s the weather?
It’s beautiful actually; we’re pretty much on the beach.

3. What’s new with you and your projects?
As of late, just working and stuff. Playing just a few shows here and there. Saving some money to do a tour, to do a show with Muff Potter over in Europe. Muff Potter’s a great band from Germany, Hot Water Music used to tour with all of the time.

My wife and I’ll be flying over there in mid-September. We will be there doing Germany, Austria, Switzerland, then a few shows on my own, then going to the UK to do a few shows on my own there also. That’s mid September to mid October.

But after that, Feast or Famine comes out. [It’s out now], Matt Skiba and I are going to go to Chicago and play a show with Chris from Lawrence Arms at The Metro. After the European tour, we’re probably going to play the US in support of Feast or Famine.

4. Any east coast dates?
For sure, we’re figuring it out now, but we’re most definitely going to be coming your way. Where should we play?

5. There aren’t many intimate, small venues now in Jersey, but Maxwell’s always works.
Yeah—I remember that place, I haven’t been there in years.

6. Or the Lower East Side of Manhattan and of course the Knitting Factory still is amazing.
That will be sometime in November, I’ll think.

7. What are your top five bands of all time?
CCR, Leatherface, Naked Raygun, Pegboy, Bueno Vista Social Club, that’s right right?

8. The Leatherface tour, when the Melody Bar caught on fire, was my favorite show of all time! The show was moved to 331 Somerset in the basement.
Actually; we were just talking about that last night… did Lifetime play? Who else played?

9. No, it was Kid Dynamite, Ex Number Five, Thursday, The Radar Mercury, I think also Nora, Ensign. It was just crazy how many bands were playing.
Did Endeavor play??

10. They may have, I don’t remember, there were way too many.
That was truly insane. I remember Chris Wollard and I got to the club, walked down the road to grab a bite and a beer and we’re walking back and we saw fire engines, joking around saying, show’s canceled, clubs on fire.

Then we got closer and the club was actually on fire.

We were walking down to the street to the Melody and we said the same thing. New Brunswick’s not the same anymore.

11. Mac or Windows
Mac.

12. Good answer… burrito or taco?
Taco, especially fish tacos.

13. Can, bottle or draft?
Ohhh man, That all depends on the beer.

14. That’s for sure, how about your favorite drink?
Probably limeade.

15. Your favorite thing to eat?
My wife’s risotto.

16. Who’s your favorite Gainesville band beside the Indigo Girls?
[Laughter] Grain, was probably one of my favorites. But that always changes.

17. Do you have any other projects beside your construction and your music? Is there anything else you’re working on, any collaborations, or anything like that?
I’m planning on doing a record with a friend of mine, Austin Lucas. A very strict traditional bluegrass record. I’m planning on collaborating with the old players and just do it for real. I love and grew up listening to a lot of bluegrass and I love that sound and styling. I’m far from up to par with some of these guys, but I’ve always wanted to play along with some of those guys. We’re planning on doing a record that’s half original and the other half just old traditional.

That’s coming up and always doing little seven inches, comps and what not. Other than music and my work, that pretty much takes up most of my time. My wife and I just bought a home back in February in the foothills of the Sierra. We have a lot of work to do there so we’re planning some additions, all kinds of work on my own home.

18. You played with Austin and it was great. I never heard of him before, but it was awesome, he blew me away.
He’s a great guy, I’m looking forward to it.

19. Did he just come out of nowhere, or was he in bands before?
He’s been in all types of bands, he’s been around for quite a while. He lives in Prague now. He keeps busy, that’s for sure.

20. The Seven Inch collection was awesome, how did that start?
It started with all these songs being played around the house and my wife Jill just encouraged me to lay something down and record it. So I did, I hooked up with a friend Mitch Townsend in Huntington Beach and recorded a few sessions. Later after that, I had 10 or 15 songs recorded. From there, I decided, well, if I have them recorded, I’ll have to put them out somehow

I wanted to do stuff and the seven inches felt like I was starting over in a sense. Starting at a grassroots level is nothing less than putting out a seven inch, at least where I came from. That’s where the idea came from, starting barebones and get back to the basics. I talked to Var at No Idea Records and he was way into it. It started as one seven inch and then a couple, so we decided to do a series. I think it was a great idea, but we had a lot of hangups with the pressing plant, time just kept stacking up.

What originally was supposed to be a seven inch every month turned out to be this long, drawn out process. Everyone’s been super cool about and I can’t begin to express my appreciation. It definitely took a hell of lot longer to complete then I or anyone else wanted it to, but that’s the way it was and it just ended up that way.

21. What’s your favorite venue or city to play?
I’d have to say, by far, one of my most favorite places to tour is Australia. And over there, in Melbourne, there’s a venue called the Art House. It’s just run by some amazing people, a family. It’s kind of run as a hostel/venue. I don’t know, the vibe over there and the feeling over there is like nothing else. I’ve had great experiences everywhere and have played in incredible places, but that’s a great one for sure.

22. When you started playing again around the house, you were just playing around the house and your wife encouraged you to go on the road, how did you think it would be as successful as it has been so far?
Not at all, No. I had no idea. I’m kind beside my self with everything that’s going on. We were both planning on moving out of LA and both kind told each other we weren’t going to move out of LA until I finished a record and she finished her screen play. That was our personal goals and we did it. I started doing the seven inches and then SideOneDummy started showing some interest. It all just kinda started rolling. I feel very blessed. It definitely wasn’t expected. We worked hard doing it, I just feel lucky and blessed.

23. Feast or Famine coming out, you had friends and family helping out, how do you think it came out and how do you think it’s going to go. Did you hear any feedback from anyone, what do you think?
To be honest, that’s not how I’ve ever been. I’m not concerned with how a record is perceived or taken. It’s not for everybody and if people like it, I appreciate it. I write for myself and put stuff out and lay stuff down when I feel comfortable with it. As long as it’s fun and comfortable for me, I feel solid about it. If people like it, then I feel great about it and I really appreciate it.

I never really been concerned with trying to appease any taste or genre or whatever. If it makes sense, it makes sense, ya know?

The songs are very down to earth, very personal, and it’s great to hear that. A lot of music now, is very impersonal and generic. The stuff you’re putting out now is very heartfelt. This new genre that’s starting to emerge, this country-punk-bluegrass stuff is very back to basics and it’s very meaningful and soulful.

24. Who helped you with the record?
I had Ted Hutt (producer) and Ryan Mall (engineer) and we started digging into it. I felt like I was more prepared then ever before when I went into the studio. All the songs were pretty much done, there were a few kinks to work out, but all in all, I had pretty good idea or the instrumentation and even had some ideas of who I would like to play on it. But since the record was done on a very low budget and on a very short time frame I wasn’t sure how anything was going to work out. Pretty much, day 1, I was scheduled to go into the studio around noon and the night before Drag The River and Tim Barry were in town and staying next door. We just sat on the porch with Tim and Josh Small and his sister Caitlin and were showing them some stuff, so I invited them down and that worked out.

The first day, I went in and just started hammering out as much as we could do, bass tracks, harmonica and whatnot. From there it just started building. I was just calling friends, seeing if people wanted to come down, have a bite, drink a beer, play or sing on the record. In the end, Matt Skiba was able to come down and sing on it, Jolie Holland, who I never met before was able to come down, James Fearnley from The Pogues played some accordion, Nathan Maxwell, from Flogging Molly, Matt Hensely, it was great. We were in Mad Dog Studios in Burbank, it was just loaded with vintage instruments, a nice baby grand piano, a Hammond B3, so I got to toy around with old instruments and just kinda build on it. All and all, I think we were only tracking for a week and a half total. The timing and everything just worked out. Some people weren’t able to make it, some people were like, I’ll be down in an hour. They just showed up, had no idea what they were going to do and just come in and just give them a couple of ideas. Go and have fun and do whatever you want. It just worked out.

I’m excited to hear the full record. It’s out now on SideOneDummy. Check out Chuck Ragan’s official site, his SideOneDummy site, or his myspace.

Thank you to Chuck and we’ll see you soon on the road.

myspace.com/chuckragan

www.sideonedummy.com/bands.php?band_name=Chuck_Ragan

chuckraganmusic.com/

Ben Weasel

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 03:40:14 GMT

1. Your new album "These Ones Are Bitter" was just released on your own label, Mendota Recordings. What made you decide that this was going to a digital-only release?
I wanted to release the album myself and it was really the only way I could afford to do it and still promote it properly. CD sales are in the toilet across the board from what I've been told by the people I know who are running independent labels. Vinyl sales are up a bit but the main thing is that digital sales are climbing. I decided to go with this idea last October. At that point the label people I asked were telling me 30-35% of their sales were digital. 9 months later I'm hearing 40-50%.

2. Why do you think bands haven't really released their music strictly digitally yet?
Most people in bands are in their twenties and most people in their twenties are really provincial. They fear change. They're at an age where they're scared to grow up so they try to hold on to things that remind them of the past. Being an American in your twenties is a constant struggle between reality and the hope that somehow you'll be able to remain a teenager for the rest of your life. People in their twenties fetishize their entertainment - stuff like music, TV shows, punk rock shows, movies, video games - even drinking and sex. It's a way of trying to stave off middle age. Their approach to music is not the approach of a normal fan - it's an obsession that fills an emotional need. If you're a rock fan in your twenties in America you're probably politically liberal but in most other ways you're probably very conservative and traditional and uptight. Digital-only is an extremely threatening concept to people whose identity is wrapped up in the music they listen to. For these people, the music is only a part of the package. The image is just as important, along with what it represents to them, and the tactile aspects of a packaged piece of music. It's like a security blanket. You try to take that away from somebody who feels they really need it and you're going to get a pretty severe reaction. I was the same way at that age - me and my friends were never going to buy CDs. The art was all squashed into a little space, the sound was inferior to vinyl and it just wasn't a "real" record if it was on a CD. We were carrying a torch that nobody ever passed and that nobody but us cared about, and we didn't really understand why - we just had a list of half-assed reasons that weren't really legitimate reasons as much as they were entries in an out-of-date and irrelevant rule book . So I think bands aren't going digital because of all those reasons. The other really important reason is that not enough other people are doing it yet. Most musicians are scared to death to do anything but business as usual. I'm mostly retired anyway so I figured I didn't have anything to lose. If it pisses people off so what? I've got a lousy reputation anyway - it's not like punk rockers are looking to me to lead the Charge Of The Light Brigade or sing them to sleep at night or anything.

3. Screeching Weasel has broken up more than me and my girlfriend. Is such a relationship healthy? Why do you guys keep coming back together, like abused yet obsessed lovers?
Money.

4. Joe Queer has written a song about you. If you wrote a song called "Joe Queer," how would the lyrics go?
I don't ever call him Joe Queer. I call him Joe King. Or Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy. If I were to write a song about him the lyrics would probably cover things like how he smells like Wheatina and Lipton tea bags - the bridge would deal with his glass eye and his dog face. He's a salty old sea dog, that one. His band is a leaky canoe with one paddle and a crew of retarded Boy Scouts with cum stains on their trousers.

5. Is there any song you regret writing?
Crud no.

6. Rant about something that bothers you about the music industry.
I really hate it when people doing interviews try to get you to dance around like an organ grinder's monkey because they can't be bothered to write something interesting themselves. Present company excepted, naturally.

7. How huggable is Dr. Frank?
You can't hug an octagon.

8. Do you think Lookout! will ever put out another good album again?
My attorney has advised me to remain silent on this subject.

9. I read on your blog that you troll on punk message boards. How come you don't visit the ReadJunk.com forum?
I don't troll. I hate trolls. I post on one message board, but only on Tuesdays and Saturdays. I never heard about the ReadJunk.com forum. Are you inviting me?Hold on - I'll check it out. Okay, I'm back. Big problem: you can't lurk - you have to create an account and log in. To heck with that.

10. Is there any hope left for today's punk scene?
Yeah sure, why not?

11. What's something people don't know about you?
I make a terrific Cherries Jubilee. (The trick is to use a brulee pan)

12. What would be your last meal?
I'd probably just ask for a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Jameson's.

Thanks for the press, good luck with ReadJunk.com!

Ben

13. Ben Weasel and His Iron String Quartet's "Theses Ones Are Bitter" is out now on Mendota Recordings. You can buy the new album here: www.mendotarecording.com/. Thanks a lot for the interview Ben and we'll create a ReadJunk.com Forum account so you don't have to!

Aggrolites, The

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 03:02:46 GMT

1. What are you more excited about - your new album or this interview?
This interview of course! If it weren't for people like you guys I couldn't talk about how excited I am about the album.

2. How would you compare Reggae Hit LA to your other albums?
I believe album is a lot more soul influenced than the last two.

We've matured a lot on this album. And the sound quality is a lot different. The last album was dirty and sounded like an old Jamaican recording, and mostly recorded in mono. This album sounds more like a professional recording from the 60's. Both albums are still raw and live with energy, but the new one was made to sound a little more high quality.

3. What is the most "aggro" thing you've ever done?
I have to give the credit to Brian, our guitar player. We played a gig one time and an annoying drunk guy kept getting on the stage.

After I tried to escort him off a few times and a few pushes from Brian, he fell. He then charged at Brian! With no security there to help out, Brian decided to defend himself by smashing the dude over the head with his guitar. The guy was to thick headed to actually get injured, but it looked cool as ever, and we got banned from the venue... which is a pretty popular place in L.A. I'm not one to promote violence on the stage, but if you are getting attacked, do what you must! And Brian "BOOM BOOM" Dixon did what he had to do.

4. Do groupies prefer the reggae hotness or the bootyshaking soul?
What are you talking about? Reggae hotness is bootyshaking soul!

Come on now!! But that's only if the girls are doing it. I don't want to see any dudes up front in hot pants.

5. You recently played on Tim Armstrong's solo album A Poet's Life. Who are some other people or bands you'd like to collaborate with?
We would like to work with a lot of old school reggae artists. We've worked with Prince Buster in the past along with Derrick Morgan. I know I would have the bands full support by saying The Pioneers, or URoy. Something cool and crazy would be working with a band like The Who, or The Stones. Man, I'd love that to happen.

6. Who do you think would win in a battle royale: The Aggrolites, The Slackers or Westbound Train? Why?
Has Westbound Train or The Slackers ever hit anyone over the head with a guitar on stage? I'll tell you the truth, we'd all probably show up ready for battle and then just put together a giant ass Hellcat reggae party!!!! Those bands are on our team, it's the women's jeans wearing/ Edward Scissorhand hairdo, cry baby daddy didn't love me bands we want to musically battle! Not The Slackers or Westbound. We want to battle band's with names like "Forever's Yesterday's Tomorrow Death in the Futures Wings of Eternity". Dirty reggae is the new musical revolution! These bands need to stop crying and get tuff!!

7. Tell me a scary road story.
We were stuck driving across country in a horrible snow storm. It took us 7 days of non stop driving to get to Boston. No hotels, ruffing it in the van. We were literally driving 15mph the entire time. Two gig's were canceled because the storm was so bad. One night around 10pm Korey, our drummer, was driving on a road that had been covered in ice. He lost control of the wheel and the van went sliding like a Hollywood film! The van, trailer, and all spun out in a 360 right into the center divider. We all saw our lives flash before our eyes. The van landed perfectly straight with the trailer directly behind it. Being the Southern Californians we are, we all jumped out of the van in two feet of snow all wearing canvas shoes.

We looked like the 5 stooges trying to put chains on the tires with no snow gloves on. We then parked for the night on the side of the road along with 50 big rigs and calmed down. It took forever for us to dry off. We all agreed that that was the closest we all ever came to death.

8. Which celebrity would you love to endorse your band?
Who are you with these questions? James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio? Hell, I don't know. DeNiro? Maybe Oprah.... Trump, Bill Gates, don't they have all the money? They could spend billions of dollars on promoting us, and Bill Gates could invent some computerized chip that will brain wash everyone to buy our albums while they go on the net.

9. What is one song you absolutely hate playing or never want to play again?
Pop The "friggen" Trunk!!!!!!

10. Your sound is described as "dirty reggae." Who is the dirtiest person in the band?
Well, when your crammed in a van for 7 weeks at a time, I'd have to say it hard to determine where the funk comes from. We probably created a creature that lurks under the seats of the van made from mildew, sweat, B.O. and farts. I'll let you know when I see his toxic ass and I'll invite him on stage and make him sing Pop The Trunk.

11. Rant about something random.
I was walking through target the other day and looking in the camping section at tents. Above the tents they have little models of the real tents. That would be funny if they had little models of everything in the target store. One day I'm going to steal the model tent and bring it home for my dogs.

And another thing, why the hell do people still to this day say the Aggrolites play ska? How many times do we need to title and album with the word "REGGAE" or sing the damn word "REGGAE" in our songs for people to get that we play REGGAE!!!!!! Also, dirty reggae was never called dirty reggae in the late 60's. It was called REGGAE or SKINHEAD REGGAE if you were in the UK at the time!!! We named our bands sound "Dirty Reggae" cause we knew we are starting a REVOFRIKENLUTION!!! The closest thing to the actual word dirty reggae back in the day was "Slack Reggae" which was songs like Rough Rider, and Wet Dream. The only thing is they both mean two different things, but sound like they could both be about the same thing! I hope big music magazines could understand this someday. By the way, I wish more people would do more interviews like you rather than the same old boring questions that they could just find the answers out on their own. PFR bitches!! Punk F-ing Reggae!!!

A Girl at a Rush Concert

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 04:43:51 GMT

I was scoping out the $30 official tour t-shirts, when I spotted her: a girl. At a Rush concert. I charmed her into an interview to learn how someone with two X chromosomes could appreciate the female-repelling rockitude of Rush.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have my camera on me, and so I fear this interview will be likened to stories of Loch Ness monster spottings. But I assure you, she was as real as the voices in my head. Read on in wonderment:

1. You are definitely a girl, right?
(laughs) Yes.

2. With all the requisite girly parts?
Umm.. yes.

3. I’m sorry for asking but you do know you’re a rare sight? You’re like the four-leaf clover of rock!
(laughs)

4. How did you get into Rush?
Well, my older cousin was always into Rush, but I think it was a combination of hearing a song on the radio and having one of my guy friends always talk about them. My first CD of theirs that I got was Counterparts, then Moving Pictures, and it went on from there. Of course I got into their older stuff too. I have all their CDs now. I’m more into their older stuff.

5. What’s your favorite album?
Umm… (pauses) I guess Fly By Night or 2112. But you know what? I’m really into Grace Under Pressure right now. Oh, and Presto. Presto is very underrated.

6. Presto is one of my favorites. What songs are you hoping to hear tonight?
Well, honestly, I saw the set list online. Between the Wheels and Digital Man should be interesting…

7. Dude, spoiler! Do you feel uncomfortable being around so many dudes?
There are some lame people here and there but a lot of people are cool. No one’s bothered me.

8. Are you getting stares of disbelief?
(laughs) Yes, a few. But no one’s bothered me. I don’t think Rush fans are about, you know, picking up girls and stuff. I’ve been to metal shows where I’ve been harassed nonstop. It sucks.

9. Are the guys here giving you a wide berth and being all respectful and crap because you’re like an endangered species?
I think it’s either that Rush fans are really nice or that they’re dorky.

10. Are there any benefits to being a girl at a Rush concert?
Yes – no lines for the bathroom! (laughs) Seriously, the women’s room is EMPTY. I’ve never seen that before.

11. What is it about Rush that appeals to you as a woman?
Oh, wow. Uhh… I don’t know. The music is great… The lyrics are smart and more meaningful than other bands…. Oh, and Geddy Lee is cute. And I guess they’re appealing because they’re not trying to be tough or anything. They’re pretty real. And they don’t act like rock stars – like, you don’t see them having sex with groupies.

12. If you hung out with Rush after a show, what do you think you guys would do?
I don’t know… probably Scrabble! (laughs) Geddy and I would give each other hair tips! (laughs)

13. (Runs out of questions) Umm…
Are we done? I should get to my seat.

14. NO! STAY WITH ME AND MARRY ME!!
(laughs)

15. Okay, last question… how come other girls aren’t as cool as you?
(laughs) Maybe I’m not as cool as them! (laughs) Nah, they’re just lame.

Sound The Alarm

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 07:05:47 GMT

1. Sound the Alarm is a hot new emo-pop powerhouse, whose major label debut “Stay Inside” will be unleashed on July 17, 2007. I spoke with drummer Rick about their level of rockitude in the non-rocking world of emo. His answers may shock you. –Adam Coozer

2. Sound The Alarm, how the heck are you doing today? Gosh darn skippy, I hope!
Right now I’m sitting in Oklahoma City drenched from the massive amounts of humidity. But besides that, the rest of the guys and myself are all doing very well. Thanks for asking.

3. I assume because your name is three words, middle word being "the", that you play crappy emo (i.e. Saves the Day, Poison the Well, Reach the Sky, Hug the Kitten, etc.). Apologize.
Hahaha. Well to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME. That’s what my elementary school teacher said. Haha but in all honesty its a name, the music will speak for itself. Be it positive or negative.

4. On the rockometer, with AC/DC being 10, Saves the Day being 1, and Shari Lewis & Lambchop being 2, where do you register?
I'd say a 7. Seven is always a good choice. We like to think that guitar solos and driving riffs are something that should remain a cornerstone in modern pop/rock. So that’s what we aim for.

5. Tell me about the last fight you got into. How badly did she beat you up?
Last fight.... Hmmm, well I’ve never been in a fistfight but I kick Colin's (bass player) ass from time to time. I'm rather non-confrontational.

6. Okay, enough about you guys. What's something you've always wanted to know about me?
Hmm, if you could eat your last meal what would you eat and whom would you eat with?

7. Human flesh since it’d be my last meal and I’d regret not having tried it. I’d eat it with Jeff Goldblum. What's your favorite thing about our web site, ReadJunk.com?
I enjoy reading junk so it fits perfectly. When on the road sitting at a venue before the doors open, I always need a good site to surf and pass the time. Hence readjunk.com.

8. If you took me on a first date, where would we go?
Mickey D's and a good movie because a good time in Pennsylvania isn’t measured by $$$ if you know what I’m sayin-sayin. ;)

9. What's the most awesome thing about Pennsylvania that no one knows about?
Well there are a lot of great gems that I can't just give away for free, but for what its worth, I wouldn't live anywhere else in the country. And it’s the home of Yuengling. What’s up?

10. If punk rock was a salad, what kind of vegetable would Sound the Alarm be and

why?
Those little corn on the cob things that you never see. I love those things but never have the chance to eat them. We're special and unique like each individual little kernel on those mini corns. God I like them a lot.

11. Finally, I must congratulate you on the major label deal. Can I have some money?
I appreciate the recognition but we're not to be judged by the label. We're just trying to do something we love and make it in this dog eat dog world. As for the money, I can lend you some at 10% APR. You let me know if you're interested haha.

Guff

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 03:50:25 GMT

Guff play the fun, melodic skater punk that the Warped Tour was created for. Only, they don’t suck. I sat down with frontman Ash who is high on life. And lots and lots of drugs. –Adam Coozer

1. Guff, I like your name because it reminds me of boxcar hobos. Do you play old-timey skiffle?
What? Boxcar Hobos? What the hell are you talking about? We don’t really play skiffle, but actually I did use to hop trains to get around the country for a few years. Now we just play punk-rock and tour around the country in a van instead. But, sometimes, really late at night, I hear sounds from the back of the van that sounds like our bass player, Charlie, is “playing some skiffle” with himself…we try not to interrupt, it gets pretty lonely out there on the road, ya know…

2. I heard you guys were arrested during a drug bust. Tell me all about it. Are you still on the dope?
Ok, but it’s kind of a long story…Here goes: Ironically, that story occurred on April 20th (420). We were driving from Georgia to Ohio to start a tour and got pulled over in Kentucky, quite possibly the worst state in the union. We left home with a little less than ½ oz. of weed, equally split amongst us. We wrapped each 1/8th in plastic and stuck ‘em in our pockets.

Now, in KY, you’re not allowed to drive in the left lane of any 2-lane highway unless you’re passing someone on the right. It’s a pretty good law actually when you think about it. Well, needless to say, Jay, our guitar player who happened to be driving, WAS NOT thinking about it. There was no one on the road, except for us and the state trooper, and here was Jay, driving in the fast lane for like, 8 miles or so… That was all it took to get pulled over.

I was in the passenger seat, and as soon as I saw the blue lights come on I started yelling, “Everybody wake up and eat your drugs, the cops are here and we’re getting pulled over NOW!” Let me preface this by also stating that we always go prepared to eat the stash…so, when I sounded the alarm, everybody went to work on their part of the weed.

Our drummer Reed, who was in the back, was the first one to swallow his part of the stash. Jay and I, up in the front also quickly pulled out our drugs and swallowed them whole. You see, the point of wrapping them individually and shit was so that we could swallow them if we had to.

Our bass player ripped his bag open while he was pulling it out of his pocket, and it blew up all over the loft! Now remember, we’re still pulling over to the side of the road at this point. So he starts scooping it all off the loft and shoving it in his mouth and chewing it like it’s bubble gum or something. By now, the van is completely pulled over and with the exception of the loft, we were looking pretty good…ready for the “yes sir” and “No sir” that would be sure to follow. It was right about the time the trooper was at the back bumper of the van, walking up, that disaster struck.

Jay, who was still in the driver’s seat, looks over at me, says “I’m sorry man, I’m really sorry” and holds out his hand as he pukes up his stash (as well as some other nasty looking shit) into it and stares blankly at me. With only seconds to spare, I grab the puked up weed out of his hand (with some puke too) and popped it in my mouth and swallowed it, literally, while Jay was rolling down the window to speak with the cop!

It was a crazy experience to be sure. But, when the cop searched through the van, he found nothing. And he never asked what it was that our bass player was chewing…good thing he didn’t ask to see him blow a bubble! After the cop left empty handed, we went to the nearest rest area to calm down and relax a little…and to finish the job.

You see, the other reason for wrapping them all up in plastic, nice and tight-like, was so that if we did have to eat them, we could get them back up. And that’s exactly what I did. I went in to the rest area bathroom, put my fingers down my throat, and made myself throw up in the sink until I puked up two bags of pot! I was the only one that was able to make myself puke it up, but since I also had eaten Jay’s part of the stash, we ended up recovering a whole ¼ bag!

It was nasty at first to be sure, but we went to a friend’s house in Ohio before the show that night, dumped the weed out on a paper towel, and microwaved it for about a minute. That dried all the stomach acid in it so that it would burn, and even though it smelled kinda funky, we all smoked off of it for about another week. In answer to your other question; yes, we are still on the dope. You don’t go through an experience like that just to be quitters.

3. Do your parents worry about you and your lifestyle?
That’s funny, actually I’m sure they do, but they are all used to the way we are by now. Frankly, the band has been the most productive thing we’ve ever done, so our parents are more and more supportive of it. I assure you, we were all much worse when we were younger. We have some interesting parentals as well. Like Charlie’s dad for instance is a biker, not like a weekend-warrior, but like a prison-tattoo kind of biker. A real 1%er. He’s awesome. He comes out to shows when we’re in his area and gets us all hammered drunk! It’s funny because Charlie looks a lot like his dad, and we all ride vintage Vespa and Lambretta scooters. When they stand next each other, with Charlie in a Fred Perry and pork-pie hat and his dad in leather chaps and long hair, it’s like looking in some weird mirror or something. It’s like there are two versions of the same dude: a scooterboy version and a biker version. It’s awesome. I’ll try to get you a pic sometime.

4. Steve Perry of Journey sings on one of your songs. How the hell did that happen? Did you guys win the Awesome Lottery or something?
Dude, we invented the awesome lottery! No seriously though, it was cool. He came into the studio to see a friend, liked what he heard, asked US to cover one of HIS songs, and then produced it and sang with me on it. The song is called “I can see it in your eyes” and it was actually an unreleased Journey song. So, technically no, Steve did not sing on one of our songs, but he did sing on one of his that we covered with his help! And yes, it is on the new record…

5. So tell me about Steve Perry. Was he as awesome as one would expect? Did he snort a bunch of coke, trash your equipment, and slash you before leaving?
Steve is an awesome guy! He was real down-to-earth, and working with him and relating to him was easy. We put the song together in two days, from pre-production all the way to beginning mixes! We all got along well, and we knew how to communicate with each other. It made the process go by very quickly. He played it pretty straight in the studio and I suspect he plays it pretty straight in general these days, so there was no real destruction, and no one was using drugs in the studio at all except for Guff. Which we used a lot. Hmm, that seems to be the way of things… And for the most part, we’re into “downers.”

6. Sorry to keep doting on the Steve Perry thing, but now that you’ve met him, is there anyone left worth collaborating with? Who would be in the Guff All-Stars Supergroup?
Well, recording with Steve was one of the highlights of our trip to LA and one of the highlights of making this new record. But, we also got a lot of help from other kick ass people who we’ve all long admired, too. First, the record was produced by Charlie Paulson of Goldfinger, and we used a lot of his and John Feldman’s gear. They are both really great guys. Also, for most of the record we used Greg Hetson’s (Bad Religion) Marshall and Mesa Boogie amps to track guitars…Greg was a great guy too, and helped out a ton on this album. Thanks Greg! To get back to the question though, I don’t know who would be in the Guff All-stars Supergroup for sure, but I could drop one name that I know the band could agree on…Bruce Dickinson! Come on, Bruce, what’ya say?

7. What’s one secret you’ve kept from your bandmates?
That’s a tough one…We are all so much like family that I really can’t think of a secret that I have kept from them…It’s strange now that you’ve made me think about it, that we are all so tight. I love the boys in my band like they’re blood relation. No, more. Anyway, if there was and I told you, they’d find out then, wouldn’t they?

8. Seriously though. Steve Perry?? That's awesome.
Yeah, you’re right. He is a cool dude, a good producer, and easy to work with and for. We were glad to make a cool friend like Steve while we were out in LA. One of the best parts of the experience was watching him get into the sound booth and sing. I know it had been literally years since he had sang on a recording, and duets with Steve Perry don’t happen all that frequently, so, watching him record his tracks, and sharing a mic with him, harmonizing at the same time…it was indeed awesome.

9. What’s one question you’ve always wanted to ask me?
Dude, I don’t even know you! But how do you come up with some of these questions? WOW!

10. Fuck the kids. Discuss.
Not until they’re 18, dude, unless you’re in the deep south, and then it changes by state. Nah, the scene has grown, and “the kids” aren’t necessarily just like you and I may have been, but there are a lot of kids out there that ARE getting into the scene for the right reasons, and when the fads die out, they’ll be the ones who continue to carry the torch to the next generation of punk-rockers, so take it easy on them, eh? Also, it seems like there is this backlash against the kids in the scene by the older crowd, and I just don’t get it. How are we supposed to perpetuate a scene of any significance if we slam all the kids who are trying to see what we’re about? When I was growing up, I would walk out of any random show and there would be a guy outside with a cardboard box giving away copies of a mix-tape he made for the sole purpose of turning kids onto kick-ass underground music!! Where have those duders gone? You don’t see that kind of leadership or responsibility in the scene anymore. You should make a comp. And go pass them out to youngsters at shows! GO NOW! DO IT!

11. I will! Thanks for the interview!!
And thank you. Those were some great questions…Remember to let everyone know that they can check us out online at: www.myspace.com/guff, our new website at: www.guffmusic.com, or the label that puts out our records at: gokartrecords.com. Aside from that, our new record, “Symphony of Voices” will be out in stores and available online on June 26th, and we will be playing Warped Tour from July 22nd through Aug. 10th (with a couple days off here and there.) Thanks again for taking the time to interview us! YOU ROCK!