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Revenge Of The Sump Pumps

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 04:31:52 GMT

Decent, brash punk doing the neo-retro thing. I like electro/Casio-punk, but even at their most synthy the Sump Pumps' brash punkiness overpowers the synth riffing. Unfortunately, the brash punkiness is both too simplistic and overly long, so you get 3-4 minute songs of somewhat standard punk and post-punk with 80s elements that never feel integrated with, or an improvement on, the song structures.

A good Casio-punk band, like the Epoxies, will elevate mediocre songs with such gimmickry. Here, the 80s shtick doesn't really add much to the mix (with the exception of the 8-bit heavy "Shortest Fuse"). I'm not sure if it's because the riffing and melodies themselves aren't that interesting or because the Casio stuff isn't being fully utilized, but the Sump Pumps are decent but don't leave much of a mark.

S/T

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 03:48:15 GMT

Alan Sparhawk of Low's new band. Like Low, RGC play dull, mopey, down-key rock that may be labeled as indie, but to me sounds like stoner grunge.

Devoid of melody, tunefulness, or at least anything unique or interesting, this album is a huge waste of everyone's time. I'd also say it's a waste of effort, but clearly none was expended.

From Riches To Rags

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:37:00 GMT

Classic, gruff NYHC vocals, slow- to mid-tempo metal riffs, and punk-style tunes. Best of all, they don't swagger around like tough guys.

They're very reminiscent of a number of old-school hardcore bands from NY and Boston. They've certainly got the rock - if they were just faster and catchier, they could be great.

Novelization EP

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:43:25 GMT

Guitar-heavy and fast-paced mix of alternarock and butt rock. A couple of the songs are riff-heavy and fast in a Motorhead way, so I can't help but like it. "Golden Goose" is a cool song.

Tonight We Drink... Tomorrow We Battle The Evil At Hand

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:38:02 GMT

Tepid, grungey bar rock with echo effects on the vocals giving them a corny, dated sound. They're sometimes a little experimental and brasher, and I get the sense they're yearning for a post-punk thing, but they rock the late 90s college radio sound way too hard. And guys, seriously, enough with the vocal echo echo echo echo ec...

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street - 2 Disc Special Edition

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:11:38 GMT

Did you ever have to watch something because your girlfriend wanted you to? Well that’s what happened with me and having to sit through Sweeney Todd. I guess guys will do anything sometimes for their girlfriends. I usually like Johnny Depp and Tim Burton movies but after seeing Sweeney Todd; I think I just like Deep/Burton movies that aren’t musicals!

Sweeney Todd is based off the stage musical of the same name. Right there should have been a red flag for me to stay clear of this movie. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is about a skilled barber Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp), who was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) sent him away for life since he was in love with his Barker’s wife Lucy. 15 years later, Barker (now called Sweeney Todd) escapes prison, and is rescued at sea by a sailor named Anthony Hope. They return to London and Todd goes to his old apartment, above Lovett’s pie shop. Things have definitely changed there. Lovett (Helen Bonham Carter) tells Todd that his wife drank poison after Turpin raped her and that Turpin adopted Todd’s daughter Johanna. Todd vows to get revenge for all of this and he plans on doing it at his newly opened barber shop. He gets lots of help from Lovett and her pie shop as well.

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of musicals. I pretty much despise them. There’s about only 2 movies that have singing in that I like, and that’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut. With those movies, there are songs but there’s also dialogue as well. In Sweeney Todd, there’s pretty much just singing in about every scene. Just as you think you’re going to get straight up dialogue, there’s more lame singing in it. I mean really, who freakin sings about razor blades? I seriously thought people were going to break out in song when they were taking a shit. “Hey you, I’m taking a shit, taking a shit with you…mmmyyy Darling!!!” Within the first five minutes of the movie, I was just dreading this movie. But if the singing wasn’t in the movie, I would have loved it. I thought the songs weren’t that great at all, except maybe one or two songs. I actually found the songs to be quite distracting. The songs also didn’t help the plot along either. Half the time I couldn’t figure out what the hell was happening.

I’m just not a fan of Stephen Sondheim after I had to get dragged to adaptation of one of his musicals in college. The musical was “Company” and I really really hated it. Those songs were even worse than Sweeney Todd because it was just songs like “BOBBY, BOBBY, BOBBY BOBBY” over and over and over. And I didn't really want to watch a musical about a 35 year old “Bachelor” either.

Musical stuff aside, this seemed like a perfect movie for Tim Burton to tackle. His dark style of filmmaking really fit the story of Sweeney Todd. The film sets and CGI work looked incredible and very Burtonesque. The acting was pretty good and I thought it was impressive that Depp sang all the songs. He doesn’t seem like a singer to me but he pulled it off. Too bad the songs themselves suck. I’m not sure why Burton made Johnny Depp look like Edward Scissorhands though. I thought Helen Bondham Carter was good as well, although her singing wasn’t great and I think she knows that. I kind of wished there were more scenes with Sacha Baron Cohen and Alan Rickman because their screen time was limited. Rickman had scenes but it wasn't enough in my mind. I didn’t really care for the scenes with Anthony Hope, and I was trying to telepathically tell my girlfriend to fast forward his scenes. It didn’t work.

The 2-disc edition DVD has a lot of special features on it. The behind the scenes featurette was really good because there was a lot of interesting interviews, and you get to see behind the scenes types of stuff. Helen Bonham Carter admitted she always wanted to play Mrs Lovett so I found that strange and interesting at the same time. You also find out that Sacha Baron Cohen auditioned for his role and sang pretty much every song from Fiddler on the Roof. Disc 2 has many featurettes like one on the real demon barber (didn't know it was based on a real person), Stephen Sondheim's musicals, Sweeney Todd's London, and set design featurettes. Many things to hold fans over after they are done with the movie.

I seriously tried to watch this movie with an open mind, but I’m afraid I just didn’t like this movie that much. It had its moments though. I’m sure fans of musicals & Tim Burton will love this movie but I wish there wasn’t any singing in it. Why can’t people adapt stories from musicals, and not have any dumb singing in it? It would make the world a better place! It would actually be something some-what original since people wouldn’t expect a musical to be turned into a normal movie. But regardless of what I thought and think about most musicals, this movie will probably be praised by everyone else. If you want to get Sweeney Todd on DVD, be sure to get the 2-disc version with the extras on it!

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - 2-Disc Unrated Edition

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 06:31:32 GMT

Walk Hard is a movie that didn't seem to get the recognition it deserved like other Judd Apatow movies. I think this movie shouldn't be over looked because it didn't do well at the box office. While Walk Hard isn't always a laugh out loud movie, it's certainly a funny movie that will still get many Apatow fans laughing.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is about legendary rocker Dewey Cox (John C. Reilly), as we follow him on his roller coaster, rock 'n' roll life. Dewey started out by having his Father hate him for what he did in the past, but then he tried to move on by playing blues rock and country. No one in his town approved of his music so he moved away with his then girlfriend (Kristen Wiig) and got discovered for his talent. He then skyrockets to super stardom, and being friends with the likes of Elvis and The Beatles. Then he gets caught up with every drug imaginable, screwing hot women left & right as his first wife takes care of all their babies. One day he meets a new girl Darlene (Jenna Fischer) that sings a duet with him and he falls in love with her. But the rocker that he is, he messes things up with his continuing use of drugs and groupies. Dewey Cox then goes off into different genres of music and gets into weird phases. There's really not much else to really tell ya, since I probably already spoiled too much.

Walk Hard is a great spoof on musician biopics like 'Walk The Line,' 'Ray' and is slightly similar to films like 'This Is Spinal Tap' and other Christoper Guest type of movies. The comedy is done in a subtle way like those movies, that's why I bring them up. It's not made as a documentary though so that's the biggest difference. I think John C. Reilly did a good job with his role of Dewey Cox, and I can't see too many other people playing Dewey Cox. I guess I could see Will Ferrell playing it but then again, I'm sure he would have turned the character into one of his usual characters. I'm sure Will can't sing and play guitar as well as John C. Reilly though. In support of this movie before it opened, John C. Reilly went on a brief tour to a few cities to play as Dewey Cox and I thought that was a genius thing to do. I'm not sure it helped in the end, but I'm sure it was fun to see. The supporting cast of the movie was great as well, and the movie included two celebrity crushes of mine: Jenna Fischer and Kristen Wiig. I like that Jenna Fischer is getting more movie roles now and breaking away from her Pam role on the Office. Tim Meadows was really funny as Dewey's drummer, and kept trying to dissuade Dewey to not take the drugs he was taking...And VERY poorly might I add! The cameos were hit or miss for me but for the most I liked the ones from Jack White as Elvis and Paul Rudd/Jack Black/Justin Long/Jason Schwartzman as the Beatles.

I think the best part of the movie wasn't the acting or anything, but the actual music written for the movie. I think my favorite song was songs like “Let's Duet,” where there was a lot hidden innuendos to sex. I liked the song about midgets, the coked-up punk version of one of the songs, and Dewey's weird, experimental music in his later years. Dewey Cox's music certainly spoofs bands & musicians like Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan, Brian Wilson, The Beatles and many more. I think the reason why the music works so much is because John C. Reilly can actually sing. I knew it was only a matter time before he sang in one of his movie roles. Reilly has a few songs off the pirate shanty concept album 'Rogue's Gallery,' so that's why I knew he'd have a singing part one of these days. His singing voice actually sounds like Loudon Wainwright III a little.

The 2-disc unrated edition has more scenes added into the movie, and a lot more extras than the normal DVD does. On the first disc, you have both the theatrical movie and the underrated movie. I started to watch the theatrical edition by mistake. I didn't realize it didn't automatically played the uncut first so watch out for that. The 2nd disc has full versions of songs, a Christmas song by Dewey, deleted & extended scenes and lots more. My favorite featurette besides the Making Of was “line-o-rama” because it was everyone doing different versions of lines. It's always funny to me to see what else they come up with.

This is definitely the DVD edition that fans of the movie will want to have. The 2 disc edition contains both versions of the movie, plus a whole disc of extras. I thought the movie was a good spoof on musician biopics and musicians. I think this movie is one that needs to be watched multiple times to be truly appreciated. Also, if you like the movie, be sure to get the soundtrack as well!

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:54:03 GMT

Have you ever witness a car accident? One where you couldn't help yourself and had to keep watching the events unfold in front of your eyes? Well that's how I felt about this movie. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is perhaps one of the funniest movie of the year, except its not suppose to be a comedy. I usually like Jason Statham movies because they are fun & a guilty pleasure, but man this movie is a big pile of shit.

In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is about a magical world that rips off Lord of the Rings and every fantasy you can think of. The movie is an adaption of the popular video game Dungeon Siege, but one thing is for sure, this movie won't be popular. It might be popular because of how bad it is and might develop into a drinking game or something. Jason Statham stars as “Farmer,” a guy so cool that he doesn't actually have a real name except Farmer. So there's this bad guy who wants to take over the world and wreck havoc on all the innocent people. His name is Gallian, and he's evvviiillll. Why is he evil you ask? Because he does evil things with clouds and smoke and controls these evil animal warriors called Krugs. The krugs look like the badly done trolls in the Troll movies. Gallian makes the krugs attack Farmer's village and he's forced to go into war since his wife is kidnapped and his stupid son dies. Farmer gets help from his surrogate Father (Ron Perlman) and a bunch of other people with him and try to take down Gallian.

I started watching this movie with an open mind but I'll be honest, I couldn't even finish this. This was perhaps, one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. Just everything about this stunk like a pig pen. The acting was atrocious, the effects were cheesy, the score was a hack job, and the action was boring. Did I mention how bad the acting was? I've seen high school plays with better actors. It's kind of surprising since there are a lot of “names” in this movie, except most of them are way past their prime. I believe casting Ray Liotta as the bad guy has to be one of the worst casting decisions ever made for a movie. I won't be surprised if Ray Liotta gets a Razzie for this role. His acting is so over the top and bad, I just laughed everytime he opened his mouth. This was simply not the role he should have taken. Burt Reynolds was just as bad as the old King and you almost needed subtitles just to hear what the hell he was saying. Jason Statham was okay in this movie, I like a lot of the movies he does. I even liked the cheesy Transporter movies but this was something he should have stayed away from. I also advise everyone to stay away from this as well. You might combust with so much laughter and that will just be messy.

There Will Be Blood: Two-Disc Special Collector's Edition

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:00:33 GMT

There are 2 types of people in this world. One type will love There Will Be Blood and the other type will hate it. I’m the type of person that loves the movie and I have seen it twice already. I had to go out and see the movie before it opened wide in theaters and I was just amazed how well the film was shot. But more importantly, I was simply amazed at Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance as the oil tycoon Daniel Plainview. If there is one movie to watch simply for a performance, it’s Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood!

The film is inspired or loosely based on Upton Sinclair’s 1927 novel “Oil!” There Will Be Blood starts out in the late 1800’s, as you see Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) looking for oil. You don’t hear anyone talk in the opening 15 minutes, as you just watch his operation grow from 1 person to a group of men as they discover oil. Daniel Plainview becomes quite rich and a cutthroat businessman and does whatever it takes to stay extremely wealthy. He’s a misanthrope and in the end, just wants to make enough money so he can be left alone. He gets a tip to drill oil in a small religious town called Little Boston in California. There, Plainview meets his match, and encounters Eli Sunday (Paul Dano). Eli is a creepy evangelical minister who wants Daniel to fund money for his new church and to be a wart on Daniel’s ass. There’s an ongoing rivalry between the two and the film shows what men will do to one-up each other. It also shows what wealth and power will do to a man.

I believe this is Daniel Day-Lewis’ best performance and a lot of others agree since he won so many awards, including the Academy Award. As soon as I saw him on the screen, I was in awe of his performance. Daniel Day-Lewis needs to act more because every time he does, he’s just magnificent. There are only a few actors that can play such a villainous character, yet you still end up rooting for him and laughing along side him. DDL is one of them. At least that’s how I felt. Maybe I’m just as evil as he is? I was cheering for him in the movie theaters at the end, and just loved the way the movie ended. Paul Dano deserves a lot of credit as well because his performance was just as good. I just wanted his character to get hit by a steam locomotive as soon as I heard him talk. He’s just so damn creepy in the film!

After seeing There Will Be Blood for a second time, the film is just as good. Sure it’s a long one, but I don’t really notice it that much. I’ve watched shorter movies that felt longer so that’s got that going for it. I still think Jonny Greenwood’s eccentric music score is really great, despite it being out of place in a few scenes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but overall I loved his score. I also love the Brahms’ Violin Concerto piece at the end of the movie as well.

One thing I noticed was a scene in the beginning, which I didn’t notice the first time. It was the scene when Paul is talking with Daniel about his family that lives on the farm. The first time seeing the movie; I never picked up that he mentions his brother Eli, and I was surprised at the end of the movie. Because Daniel mentions Paul to Eli at the end, and I thought that was some sort of twist. They are played by the same actor so I got really confused and thought that it was some sort of twist. I thought Eli just went under a different name and was playing dumb when he met Daniel for the first time at the ranch. But seeing it a second time, it makes things a lot clearer now…I think. But who knows, maybe Paul Thomas Anderson added that back into the DVD?

I’m kind of disappointed in the bonus features. I was hoping for some type of “making of” featurette since this is a 2-disc special collector’s edition DVD. I wanted to see interviews with Paul Thomas Anderson, Paul Dano and Daniel Day-Lewis. I would have loved to have seen how the film was made. Instead we get a featurette with images from the old west and from the movie, with Greenwood’s score being played over the top of it. You can tell how much old photographs were a resource in the filmmaking process. We also get to see some deleted scenes and other things like that. But in the end, the extras aren’t that great. The deleted scenes were good but I can see why it was cut. I’m assuming it was cut for pacing & time. Perhaps there will be another DVD edition coming out in the future?

I honestly think this movie should have won the “Best Picture” Oscar this year because I think No Country For Old Men wasn’t the “best.” I’m just glad Daniel Day-Lewis received the Oscar for “Best Actor.” I’m not sure if everyone will like this movie. It’s a long film, slow at times, and the characters aren’t the nicest of people. I happen to love this movie and think it will hold up over the years as Daniel Day-Lewis’ best movie role.

South Park: Imaginationland - Uncensored Director's Cut

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 06:34:34 GMT

“IMAGINATION….IMAGINATION….” South Park: Imaginationland is so good it could have been shown in theaters and people would have gone to go see it. It’s probably my favorite South Park episodes to have come out in the last 5 years. Seeing the episodes put together into a standalone DVD and seeing it uncut & uncensored makes this DVD a worthwhile purchase for any South Park fan!

It’s just a normal day in South Park, the kids are playing outside and causing trouble like usual. Cartman is on a quest to find a leprechaun, and Kyle bets him that he’ll suck Cartman’s balls if he can find one. Sadly for Kyle, Cartman ACTUALLY finds one and it’s time for Kyle to suck his balls. But of course he’s not gonna go down without a fight. But while this is all going down, they meet a weird guy who brings them to a magical land called Imaginationland. The magical place has every fictional and imaginative character & creature you can think of, and they all live in peace & harmony. But just as the boys get there, terrorists have arrived and wreck havoc on the land. Butters gets stuck in the land, as the rest escape. The US Government steps in and plans on destroying Imaginationland before the terrorists strike again. It’s up to Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Al Gore to come to the rescue and save our imaginations before it’s too late! Dum dum dum dum….

When I first saw the Imaginationland trilogy on TV, I thought it was hilarious & fantastic and still think that! Just picture seeing every character from a book, cartoon, movie, tv show and you’ll see them in this 3 part episode series. Just seeing all those characters alone make this hysterical to watch for people up on their pop culture. You’ll want to pause the DVD just to see who you can spot. The writing for these episodes by Matt & Trey was awesome and their writing has been awesome since Day 1. I’m still amazed they can churn out all these great episodes after all these years. It’s something The Simpsons hasn’t been able to do, make this many SOLID seasons.

I thought the premise of these episodes were great, having it all centered around Kyle who had to suck Cartman’s balls. Seeing Cartman go to such lengths just to get this task done was also funny. I also loved the return of cape crusader Al Gore and his quest to kill the Manbearpig. The spoofs and cameos were brilliantly done, and you might notice spoofs of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Stargate, Narnia and every movie that you can think of. The Stargate spoof with Kurt Russell will particularly make you bust a nut with laughter.

One of the things that might be appealing for fans is this DVD is uncut and uncensored. I wish all the South Park seasons were uncensored because many shows are starting to do that now. Some people might like the beeps but I hate it, so I’m glad that this is uncensored. The features for this DVD include 2 bonus episodes of the Woodland Critter Christmas and Manbearpig episodes, which are related to the Imaginationland trilogy. The other feature is audio commentary, which thankfully goes longer than their usual 5 minutes. Matt and Trey always have something interesting to say in their commentaries so make sure you listen to the audio track. I’m sure some people can’t see themselves paying for 3 episodes for one DVD, but I can. I loved these episodes and think it’s worth owning.

Rogue Wave

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:56:53 GMT

I wanted to see Rogue Wave last fall but I never got around to seeing the show at Maxwell's in Hoboken. This time they were playing Irving Plaza and since I like that venue a lot, I decided to check out the indie rock outfit from Cali.

When my girlfriend and I arrived at the venue after the doors opened, there were barely anyone there. I noticed there wasn't a photo pit for the show so I had to rush to the front to get a spot to take pictures. I hate when there isn't a photo pit for a show when I'm suppose to take pictures. It's just hard taking pictures because you're standing in the same spot the entire time, and if you don't arrive early you miss out on a good spot. The venue did fill up to the point of selling out, so I couldn't just walk around and take pictures. I still managed to get some good shots from the show.

I believe the start time was supposed to start at 8pm but the show didn't start until 8:45pm. The band Grand Ole Party opened up the show. They hail from San Diego and they are currently on tour with Rogue Wave for the most part. I never heard of the band but I think I will be checking out their music now. The group features a bassist and guitarist, and a female drummer who sings as well. Singer-drummer Kristin Gundred had a great voice and was a kick-ass drum player. I'm not sure what songs they played since I never heard of them before, but I really liked what I heard. As far as photography is concerned, I wished they used more lighting because it was REALLY dark. I didn't really want to use flash since I've been learning not to use it. At one point there seemed to be only one dark-celled light directed on stage and that was it. Rogue Wave's lighting wasn't much better either. They used lots of dark greens, blues, and reds which makes it hard to photograph sometimes.

Rogue Wave came on a little bit after Grand Ole Party finished their rockin' set. I didn't realize Rogue Wave had this many members. It seemed like every band member played 4 instruments each. Even the drummer seemed to play a few instruments or do a few things behind his drum set. Rogue Wave opened up with “Like I Needed” off their newest album “Asleep at Heaven's Gate” off of Brushfire Records. They played a lot from that album, which I'm happy about since I think that's their best album to date. They also played songs off “Out of the Shadow” and “Descended like Vultures.” As I was watching the band and trying to take pictures, I realized how great musically the band was. They really seemed to know their stuff, and had a great time playing it as well. The crowd was really digging their music as well. There was one amusing point in the show when everyone was smacking a blown up condom around and made its way to the stage.

Other notable songs that they played were “Bird on a Wire,” “Publish Your Love,” “Chicago x12” and “Eyes.” The song “Eyes” was the song that got me into the band in the first place. I heard the song on the premiere episode of Heroes and really liked the song. So I decided to dig a little deeper and then became a fan of Rogue Wave's music. So I'm still a fairly new fan of the band. Towards the end of the set, I went to stand in the back because I was getting ADD. I didn't realize how crowded the club got until I had to walk through everyone. The band finished with “Lake Michigan” and “Harmonium” and I thought those 2 songs were the best of the night. It seemed a lot of people left after “Lake Michigan” was played. I can just imagine what people were thinking: “Oh, they played the song from the Zune commercial, we can go home now…”

Zach Rogue came back out for an encore and played 2 solo songs, and then another song “California” with the band. After that, I'm not sure if they played anything else because I went home myself. I had a long drive home, and it ended up being a nightmare. (Watch this space for a blog link about it). Overall, I liked Rogue Wave's set and thought they played a lot of good songs. I wish they played “Own Your Own Home,” “Fantasies,” or “Salesman at the Day of the Parade” though. I'm not sure they played those; I can't seem to remember if they did or maybe they played one of them after I left?. If you're a fan of the band and haven't seen them live yet, they are currently on tour so check out one of their shows.

See all the photos from the AP Tour show here:

Rogue Wave

Grand Ole Party

New Model Army

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 07:16:27 GMT

Last fall I was suppose to see New Model Army for the first time, but their Visas were denied and they had to cancel their entire tour. They finally got their Visas and rescheduled their tour in support of their latest album “High.” The 2nd date on the tour brought them to the small club in Hoboken called Maxwell's. I’ve only been there once before to see a show and it’s one of the very few clubs in the NY area that’s so tiny enough that you don’t get harassed for bringing a camera in.

I knew the show was going to start late so my brother and I decided to go a little later than usual. We got to Hoboken around 8:30pm or so but when we got inside the club, only the first band (The Last Conspirators) was playing. The club was pretty much empty at that point, with just a few people standing around in the back watching the band. I decided to take some pictures of them just for the hell of out. The Last Conspirators are from the Upstate NY area and play a political rock style. The singer used to be in an old punk band called the Morons. I thought they sounded better when they played faster songs but for the most part, I didn’t like this band at all. To me, it seemed like most of the crowd didn’t either.

The second band was a psychedelic/dub/experimental rock band from Brooklyn called Echoes and Shadows. I was wondering when they were going to bring out their mic stands, and they never did because they were an instrumental band. Their music was really cool, but seeing it live was kind of boring to me. They played about 4 or 5 songs and then it was time for New Model Army. I’ve only been a fan of NMA for about a year now so this was the first time I was seeing them live.

The band came on roughly around 11:15am and played 'til about 12:30am; thankfully I took a nap in my car at work that day. Some of us working folk have to work in the morning. New Model Army opened up strongly with “Vanity” and the tiny crowd of Maxwell's was already getting rowdy. There must have been 3 or 4 almost-fights between the same group of people. People kept getting close to the monitors and knocking them over, so one guy kept protecting the monitors. Then punches would be almost thrown, bouncers would get involved, yadda yadda yadda. So it definitely made the show entertaining. Even singer Justin Sullivan said the small crowd managed to create such mayhem with such a little audience. Or something along those lines.

Like I thought they would, the band played many songs off their new album ‘High’ like “Wired,” “Rivers,” “Bloodsports,” “One of the Chosen,” “Into the Wind” and “Nothing Dies Easy.” I’m glad they played “Wired” and “Into the Wind” because they are my favorites off the new album. Even though I prefer the faster songs to the slower ones from NMA, they still played them perfectly. From start to finish, the band just played their set flawlessly, and they sound just so good live! I’m even thinking about seeing them again next month at the Mercury Lounge in NYC. I thought the best songs of the night were “The Hunt” and “Poison Street.” The crowd was moshing up a storm for those 2 songs. The last song of the evening was a violin-less “Vagabonds” and its one song I was dying to hear live. It was a great to hear it finally live and a great way to end the show at Maxwell's. I would have liked to have heard “Stupid Questions,” “51st State,” or the Freeborn John song “Rumour and Rapture.” Well I’m sure the band will be back later on this year or next after this tour so maybe I’ll hear those songs next time. If you ever get a chance to see New Model Army, be sure to do so because they put on one hell of a show!

To see all the Photos from the Show, click below:

New Model Army

Echoes and Shadows

The Last Conspirators

The Pogues

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:21:39 GMT

The Pogues returned to the East Coast this spring and I had no intention of skipping this tour. I was worried when they announced the dates that they would interfere with my Florida vacation but thankfully I made it home just in time to see this killer lineup. Before I even knew who the openers were, I bought tickets for the March 16th show. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that BOTH Billy Bragg and William Elliott Whitmore were opening. Talk about a perfect lineup for a show!

Instead of going to the show an hour beforehand and bitch about the traffic; my friends and I decided to take the train in and spend the day in Manhattan. I never do this so it was a new experience for me, a very tiring experience. I already pulled my hamstring down in Florida just from walking on the damn beach. But Sunday, I pretty much was on my feet for 8 hours. I’m seriously turning into an old man and I’m barely 30. My legs were definitely feeling it towards the end of the night. After eating at Connelly's off Madison Ave, we briefly walked around Times Square, got annoyed by some beat boxer that was doing an awful job at doing the Super Mario Bros theme music. Of course I had to fuck with him and tell him he was doing it wrong. After that, we killed time in Central Park and then it was off to wait in line for an hour in the chilly weather.

Waiting on line took forever, as the line was getting harassed with some Muslim extremist and Stop-Loss street-teamers. If you happened to see a Stop-Loss sticker shaped as a penis on the ground; yes…that would be from my friend Frank! As everyone was getting inside the club, I was still waiting for the Pogues guestlist to show up so I had to wait in the lobby. Thankfully I didn't have to wait too long. I meet up with my group and then William Elliott Whitmore graced the stage with his alternative bluegrass rock music...or whatever the hell you want to call it. William Elliott Whitmore came out and played a half hour set but sadly felt shorter than that. His style is really unique and he's just amazing to hear live. His voice is so gravelly, and I never really dug his style of music until I saw him perform. The one song I did recognize that he played was “One Man's Shame” off his latest album. I really dig that song. There were other songs I recognized from his albums but I really was just concentrating on taking photos of him. William Elliott Whitmore signed with Anti Records this month so I really hope he comes back to support his new album when it's released. I'm sure many of the Pogues fans will be seeing him because he's definitely a crowd favorite at the Pogues shows.

After William Elliott Whitmore, the place was absolutely packed like sardines and it was really hard to see the stage. I was getting so pissed off with tall people just shoving their way into the crowd and in my sight line, I had to just sit in the photo pit area for Billy to come up. I felt bad for my girlfriend who was shorter than me, and it was her first Pogues show too. I couldn't believe how rude a lot of these people were. At one point, if I saw someone trying to weasel their way in front of me, I either moved up or threatened to knock their teeth out if they stood in front of me. It seemed to work for a little bit. I don't know what it was, but that show made me wish I saw the band over in London instead because at least the audience over there is a lot more friendlier and aren't a bunch of dickweeds.

Billy Bragg was playing only one Pogues show in the US and it happened to be at the show I was at. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, I was so happy because I never saw Bragg before. I've been meaning to see him the last few times he was in New York but every time I tried to buy tickets, the show was sold out. He came out and address the crowd that he just came from SXSW and was a bit cranky on the flight. Bragg played an excellent set of favorites and new songs, and adding some hilarious commentary on NY Governor Spitzer, and playing Guitar Hero with his son. He played such songs like “To Have and To Have Not (first Bragg song I ever heard),” “Farm Boy” and “Old Clash Fan Fight Song.” The one song he kept ad-libbing to was “Waiting for the Great Leap Forward” and I thought that was the best song of the night. I knew a surprise was coming up since it's been rumored that Kate Nash was gonna be at the Pogues show. The rumor was that she was going to play with the Pogues, but she ended up showing up with Billy Bragg. I thought she was adorable, and played the tin whistle out in public for the first time so that was interesting. Then she sang “New England” with Billy and I believe she played with him over in SXSW as well. Billy Bragg was great and I can't wait for him to come back to NY (I think this summer?). Be sure to pick up his new album “Mr Love and Justice” because it's awesome!

The final act was of course, the band everyone was there to see...THE POGUES! This was my 5th show in 3 years and been waiting for this one for a year. The previous 2 years I was over in London when I saw them live so I had to wait a whole year to see the Pogues again. In usual Pogues fashion, they didn't exactly start on time that night and came on about 20 minutes late. Not sure why but I suspect it had to do with Shane because he seemed a little bit more inebriated than usual. The band opened up with “Streams of Whiskey” and after that the photographers were allowed into the photo pit. I was shooting pictures left and right, but kept getting discouraged because the Pogues lighting is always so dark. A lot of my photos came out dark and blurry, even when I spent thousands of dollars on new lenses. But I was happy to just to be there, and shooting the show thanks to Phil Chevron of the Pogues. I did manage to get some good photos out of the lot thankfully. I just wish I had my Nikon D300 already. Oh yeah, back to the music!

During “Turkish Song of the Damned,” Shane was spinning around as I was changing lenses, he took a tumble on the stage. I heard the crowd gasp and look around and see Spider helping him up, as Shane was smiling. So I knew he was okay, which is blessing considering what happened last year in Boston. I think with a few songs, Shane was rushing a lot of the singing verses and the band was trying to catch up with him. But for the most part, they were great! One important note to add is that this tour was the return of Phil Chevron, who has been conquering cancer. It was really great to see him singing “Thousands Are Sailing” and playing again!

They added a few songs I haven't yet heard live yet like “Dark Streets of London,” “Greenland Whale Fisheries” and the newly added “Love You 'Til The End.” I was happy to see that “Love You Til The End” had entered the setlist because I think the non-Shane albums are very under-appreciated & underrated as well. I would have loved to hear “Living In A World Without Her.” But I think “Love You..” has gained some more popularity because of that chick flick PS I Love You.

The band ended the set with the crowd favorite “Dirty Old Town,” “Bottle of Smoke” and then “Sick Bed of Cuchulainn.” They came back for two encores, and the first batch included “Sally Maclennane,” “Rainy Night in Soho” and “Irish Rover.” I think as the show went on, the band got settled in and played a better show, especially Shane MacGowan. The second encore, the fans were treated to a lovely special guest, Jem Finer's daughter Ella as she came out to sing “Fairytale of New York” with Shane. New Yorkers were lucky since the rest of the cities didn't hear FONY. It was great to hear the song again with Ella, and all the couples in the audience were swaying to it. I was glad to have my girlfriend along to see the band and sway with me. The Pogues ended the night with “Fiesta.” Overall, it was a long day but well worth it since the show was really good and a lot of fun. Even though I hated the crowd and it was hard to see the band, I still had a blast seeing the Pogues again.

To see all the Photos from the Show, click below:

The Pogues

Billy Bragg

William Elliott Whitmore

Flogging Molly

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 09:35:51 GMT

It's been about a year since I last saw Flogging Molly. Since they were playing at The Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY, I decided to check them out again with my girlfriend. When I arrived at the club after 7pm, a lot of people were already lined up waiting to get into the club. I still managed to get inside and get a perfect spot in the center part of the balcony. I had a photo pass through Flogging Molly so I wanted to get the best pictures I could. I was afraid I wasn't going to get some good shots since I was far away but thankfully I brought along my telephoto lens. I wish the Chance would open up the bottom part more and extend the security gate so photographers can go in there too.

The first band was from Dublin, Ireland but I couldn't understand/hear the name of the band until later on in the set. They were called the Mighty Stef and they were pretty good. The lead singer didn't sound Irish at all when he sang and was going for a Tom Waits persona a little. He had the hat, denim and singing style of Waits. The band played a cow punk style, mixing bluegrass, punk and country and I liked it. I'm not sure most of the crowd appreciated their music since the band didn't really get the crowd moving. The next band up certainly got the crowd dancing and singing along though. They were called Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band from Nashville Tennessee and they were another band that had a rocky blues sound.

The band came on for a quick sound check, but then soon came back to rock the Chance with their bluesy/bluegrass music that got all the kids...moshing to? Hmm okay. I've seen people mosh to rap music before so I guess its not totally unbelievable. The band consisted of a big bearded guy named Rev. Peyton, his brother on drums (he played a bucket too!) and then Rev. Peyton's wife who played the washboard & made weird faces. Rev. Peyton was a great guitar player and the other two members were great as well. I'm not sure I would like their music on Cd but they put on one hell of a live show. As soon as they started playing, the crowd was REALLY into them. Between songs, Rev. Peyton would talk with the crowd a little and he was a great story teller. One anecdote that I liked was when he saw his wife's cousin on the TV show COPS. Something tells me this band started out by playing in barns, jamborees and ho-downs. Or is it hootenannies? I also definitely can see this band just performing on their porch down in Nashville. But anyway, this band is something you definitely have to see live to appreciate.

Flogging Molly was up next, the band that everyone was there to see. Music from The Who came on and the band took the stage with their impressive stage lighting. The entire audience of the Chance was going crazy with excitement. They were moshing, stomping their feet, singing along, throwing water bottles around and just having a great time. The balcony at The Chance was literally shaking so much I had to grab onto the railings. I was seriously afraid up there and afraid it was going to collapse or something. But I guess if something like that did happen, the people underneath would have it the worst than me. Plus it was really hard to take pictures when the floor is moving; thank god for vibration reduction!

I have a really bad memory when it comes to remembering every song that bands play live. But there were a lot of songs that I loved that were played. Flogging Molly did a good job of mixing old songs with new songs. The new songs that they played were the ones I wanted to hear like: “Requiem For A Dying Song,” “Float” and “Paddy's Lament.” One song that I never heard live (I don't think?) was “The Worst Day Since Yesterday” and they actually played it this time around! Dave King even said they haven't played it in years but started bringing it back to their live show. I thought it was one of the best songs of the night although their new song “Requiem for a Dying Song” sounded amazing live! Of course, it was great to hear Flogging Molly classics like “Drunken Lullabies,” “Devil's Dance Floor,” “Salty Dog,” and “Selfish Man.” The band members seemed to be having an awesome time I stage, drinking their Guinness and raising their drinks to the crowd after every song (it seemed). I'm glad to see accordion player Matt Hensely is back with the group; I didn't see the band when he wasn't with them but it seems like he never left.

There's nothing else to be said about the show really. It was just a great show with interesting opening bands and like always, Flogging Molly put on an excellent set. They are definitely one of the most exciting live bands to see in the music scene. They just make you want to jump & go crazy. I was happy to get the opportunity to see the band live again and get a photo pass. I loved that I was able to shoot the whole show and there wasn't a 3 song limit. If you haven't seen Flogging Molly yet, be sure to get your ass out to see them!

Here's a few more pictures from the show:

See all the photos here:

Flogging Molly

The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band

The Mighty Stef

Senses Fail

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 07:39:54 GMT

The show was so emotional it was almost poetic. Senses Fail is no longer a Knitting Factory-sized band, but their set translates so well to a Knitting Factory-sized venue. It was purely insane with energy and the band was nearly flawless. Even minus ex-bassist Mike Gilta, who announced his departure from the band on December 8th. Jason Black from Hot Water Music fame filled in and nailed the bass. With all the commotion and intense flair of the show, no one even noticed the difference.

Singer Buddy Nielsen, with his massive head of hair, a too-tight cut off t-shirt, and some long shorts was pure dynamite. He eagerly invited kids to jump on stage and show their moves as they stylishly jumped off. As kids flew in the air toward the band, they were either met with an embrace as a long lost brother, headlocked and forced in front of the mic, or quickly pushed, shoved or tossed right back into the crowd. It all depended on Buddy's whim and just which intense feeling he happened to be feeling at the moment. The stage flips and somersaults were pretty He made himself no stranger to the crowd, and dove right into the massive sweaty sea of people repeatedly during the set.

They didn't play one of their fan favorites, "Steven" but no one seemed to notice as they blasted through "The Rapture", "Calling All Cars", "Buried A Lie" (aka Dr. Dave), and "Rum is For Drinking, Not For Burning". It's mind-blowing to see the band's intensity and rabid feelings while they play songs they've been playing for over five years. It's as if the song and the feelings are new every time.

The set was short, clocking in at just under an hour, but it was long enough to work the crowd into a messy frenzy. Everyone in the front was getting slammed with bodies flying from the stage, but loving every minute of it. The back of the room was singing along, wide eyed and just as stoaked. The band played no encore, but there was really no need. As steam rose from the crowded room, kids eagerly chanted for "one more song", but to no avail. It didn't matter much since there really is no proper follow up to "One Eight Seven" anyway.

The band mentioned being in the midst of writing a new album to follow up 06's "Still Searching". There's an eager crowd waiting, so bring it on.

Be Kind Rewind

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 03:25:47 GMT

Going on sheer innovative talent, I can safely say that Michel Gondry is right now the world's best director. Especially in a time where computer effects and modern technologies make it easier and cheaper to make everything look better, Gondry takes the same traditional approach cinema trailblazer Georges Melies did 100 years ago. Gondry, in his films and music videos, has used trick photography, various lens filters, and just plain cinema magic to truly make the cinematic image exciting again. He has long been a proponent of technology-free special effects, making him one of a dying breed.

I think, therefore, it's only appropriate that his latest film concerns VHS, which is by all means dead. Unlike vinyl records, which many music aficionados believe is a more superior means of listening to music than CDs, the videotape has very few redeeming qualities when put agains DVDs. In Be Kind Rewind, Gondry only revisits a bit of recent nostalgia, but more than anything, he looks at the interactive quality that home video brought the world in the early 1980s - especially the ability to tape things yourselves.

While Gondry has cinematic innovation down pat (at times there are some shots that are hard to believe possible without digital assistance), his talents as a writer are far less impressive. Not that he is a bad writer, it is clear that he has some amazing ideas; just look at his music videos if you need further proof that he is undeniably creative. Be Kind Rewind's biggest flaws are in its pacing, and at times, its utter ridiculousness. I fully understand that in a way, Gondry is echoing the same type of bizarre surrealism perfected by Luis Bunuel, but there are times where even that can't be used as an excuse.

The plot, in about a sentence, essentially follows two dudes who make their own 'sweded' versions of popular movies after the videotapes at the rental store one of them works at has all of its tapes erased. By the time this plot is established, 15 minutes has already passed, and very few laughs are to be had, which is problematic, especially for a comedy. Fortunately, the build-up is almost worth it. The 'sweding' or essentially re-filming of entire movies in a couple of hours, is the funniest part of the movie. Mos Def and Jack Black play just about every character, and do so in a way that simultaneously mocks and homages each film they recreate. In the film, people seem to love their sweded videos, and they become a cultural sensation. Except that there are these bad folks who want to tear down the building they work out of. Oh, and of course there's copyright infringement. At times, the plot is a bit jumbled or ridiculous, but it almost doesn't matter because the fake movies are just that funny.

I don't say this often, but I think this film would be way better on DVD. I anticipate that it would have some amazing deleted scenes, or some of the full sweded movies. And since they are the best part of the films, or in a way, the sex scenes in the porn-with-a-plot, they will definitely be the most rewarding part of the watch. It's not necessarily the fault of Gondry that this film isn't better; in some ways, the film has a definite charm of its own, and it is his first fully American movie not written by Charlie Kaufman. With far more of a European background in ideology and filmmaking, he is quickly trying to adapt to an American plot structure, and even to a mass target audience. Science of Sleep, his last film, also struggles from a weaker script, but its international performance and style flavours tended to make it feel far more comfortable (and aesthetically, it is absolutely mesmerizing). Be Kind is less a movie about specific visuals - in a way, it's about making them even less beautiful with a home video camera - but carries some of the same magic. I don't think it's right to say Gondry should just go back to making music videos, since he does have something fun and exciting with this film. I just hope he still gets a chance to make something that will make him the cinematic legend he deserves to be.

Vantage Point

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 11:51:06 GMT

Vantage Point looked like a great political thriller movie with lots of action in it. After seeing the movie, I felt the movie had its moments but for the most part, it was poorly executed and just downright annoying.

The film takes place in Spain and centers around an Anti-Terror summit in which the President of the United States (William hurt) is shot. That’s the overall storyline of the movie, except we get to see several points of view around the historic event. The first POV we see is from a director of a new station covering the event. You see how things go down from that perspective then you see it from others. The main character in the movie is played by Dennis Quaid, who plays a secret service agent back from duty. The previous year he saved the President’s life with getting shot. Along with his partner Kent (Matthew Fox), an American tourist (Forest Whitaker) with a video camera, and a local policeman (Eduardo Noriega), they try to uncover what happen at the summit and try to catch the terrorists.

This movie had all the right elements to be a great movie, but I thought the way it was put together was really annoying. It’s interesting to see different points of views on a single event; but I felt they shouldn’t have done it the way they did in the movie. Director Peter Travis and company would show you one storyline and just as it was getting good, everything would rewind and go back to 30 minutes before the assassination & bombing took place. Every time the movie did that, the audience (myself included) would groan with discouragement because it was just..annoying! I’m not sure how I would have done it differently but maybe having the footage told in flashbacks or something would have been a little bit better. This whole movie felt like watching a sports game and just as a player was about to score, someone changes the channel. Another thing I didn’t like was that it didn’t really go into character development that much. Like I said before, just as you were getting to know someone; you moved on to the next person. I particularly didn’t care for the “twist” in the movie and didn’t like how you didn’t even know the motives behind everything. The twist is just there with no explanation. Other things that annoyed me were how stupid little girls could be with wandering around in traffic and other movie clichés. I didn’t really have a problem with the acting but felt Forest Whitaker wasn’t that great and wished Matthew Fox had more screen time. Actually most of the actors could have used more screen time because you don’t really know a damn thing about the characters. The only characters that should have had less screen time was that dumb little girl and Forest Whitaker.

I’m not sure I’d go see this movie in the theaters but it might be something to watch when it comes out on DVD or TV. The acting isn’t that special, the storyline is interesting but I think the movie is ruined by the way it was presented.

Cloverfield

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:02:35 GMT

My Review of Cloverfield

By Tomas el Guapo

My grandchildren asked me to write my thoughts about the Cloverfield picture. I saw it yesterday with my good friend David, and now my grandkids won’t stop hocking me, they want to hear about it so much. I don’t know why, it isn’t very good. But they said I should just talk about it and they’ll type it up for me on the computer. They both write for an Internet magazine that they say is very popular. I don’t see how they can make money if it’s on the Internet, but they tell me they can. Do they print the pages from the Internet and sell the pages? Okay, they’re telling me to get on with it.

Well, I have to talk about my friend David first. He and I have been friends since St. Augustine’s in Brooklyn and we have kept in touch since. He is a great, great friend of mine, even though he is Protestant. And he has a lovely family. They invited me to his home for his nephew’s 50th birthday celebration. It really was very nice and Mindy, David’s wife, who I’ve known for years, really went all out. She is a wonderful woman.

So the nephew who’s birthday it is, his son is a rich and famous Hollywood writer or producer, and he said he had a surprise for the whole family, a print of a new picture, “Cloverfield,” which hasn’t come out yet.

Most of the family went into the den and I decided to watch the picture as well because I know all about Cloverfield. It was a minor but important Civil War battle towards the end of the war. I wouldn’t call myself a historian, but I know a lot about many things, and I love war movies. Back when David and Mindy were first going steady, the three of us would go to the theater to watch the war reels. Fifteen cents each would get us two pictures, a cartoon before the pictures, and the war reels afterwards. If you had a quarter, you could also buy hot dogs and popcorn. I’d often use my ten cents to buy Mindy a popcorn and Coca-Cola.

Okay, I’m getting to the movie now. So the movie starts and I’m sure you all know this, but it became clear to me that this wasn’t about the Civil War! The picture starts off with some very loud kids throwing a party by themselves (where are their parents?). They’re laughing and carrying on and really acting quite stupid. The music was awful. I really didn’t like watching it and I didn’t think a lot of it was appropriate. There were girls wearing very little. I looked over at Mindy and she was embarrassed. She turned bright red! I always thought she looked pretty when she’s flustered, but she looked old and I felt old too.

I was looking at Mindy so I missed something on the screen, but there was a big explosion. I didn’t see what it was, but the kids in the picture ran outside and then started screaming in the street. It looked like 9/11, and sure enough I heard Mindy whisper, “9/11!” But it was dark and, again – I’m no historian – but 9/11 took place in the morning. But still, it could be a movie about another terrorist attack. Sure enough, there was another explosion and the Statue of Liberty’s head came flying down the street!

The kids start running and screaming again (there are no adults whatsoever in the movie), and then I sat through the absolute worst hour of my life. It was all running and screaming. It was terrible. There would be a crash or sudden noise, things would go flying, and the kids would just barely survive. It was very stupid. There is one scene where a subway car goes flying towards the kids and they just leap out of the way. First of all, I don’t like how the director is going to make people scared of the subway. After the war, I worked as a switch operator for the trains, and I can tell you that the New York subway system is a work of art! Secondly, I was hit by a trolley in downtown Brooklyn many years ago, and I’ve had a bad back since. I just don’t think these kinds of injuries should be made fun of. There were many other things I didn’t like – namely, how disrespectful the director was toward New York City and its landmarks. I was getting more angry at the director than at the terrorists causing the damage!

But instead of just being another 9/11 movie, this picture had a twist. I don’t know if it’s a clever twist or a stupid twist, you be the judge. But the terrorists created a monster like Godzilla to attack New York. You hardly see the monster in this picture, but it’s clearly a monster like the Japs, sorry, Japanese, used to make movies about after the war. You know, David and I didn’t serve together – I was in the Pacific and he was holed up in England for most of it. I saw a lot of terrible things, had a lot of friends who… didn’t make it. David, meanwhile, haha, he was sipping tea, charming the British ladies, “protecting them from the shelling.” He did well for himself, but he got it out of his system. When he came back, he married Mindy. I was very happy for them.

So the movie. I don’t know what to tell you. It had no plot. Kids screaming and running. Kids older than us when we were in the war. I wish I could’ve screamed and ran like that. But we had a job to do. So these kids – oh, and the direction is terrible. It’s like someone is running after the kids with their camera. It was very shaky and you can’t ever see what was going on. I spent most of my time looking at David’s family. Mindy seemed to like the movie, or at least tolerate it. She caught me glancing at her a few times. Well, she seemed to think the picture was okay, but then we got to a scene where you can finally get a good look at the monster, a Godzilla-squid creature with many legs. Well, let me tell you, she let out a shriek that made us all jump! I don’t know if she was scared of the monster or embarrassed by her scream, but she got up and hurried into the other room. David seemed interested in what was happening on the screen, so I told him I’d check on her.

I left the picture at that point, but could hear David’s family yelling and laughing. I really didn’t care about the picture anymore, because I could see that Mindy was upset. She was sitting in the corner and her back was to me, but I could see she was crying a little. I just stood there for awhile. I’m sure she knew I was there, but I didn’t know what to do or say.

After awhile, I went back to the den and the kids were getting the monster to run into the steel cables of the Brooklyn Bridge to get itself caught in them, so they could electrocute it with something or other. The effects were very good, but I was annoyed at how the director felt he had to destroy the entire city to tell a story.

I won’t get into the details because they’re not that interesting, but the monster of course dies, the kids laugh and kiss each other, and surprise twist ending – the kid with the camera who was filming the movie drops the camera in the river. And when it lands on the bottom, you see an egg.

So that is Cloverfield. I have no idea why anyone would want to hear my thoughts about it, but I love my grandchildren and hopefully this will make them some money.

There Will Be Blood

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 02:43:19 GMT

There Will Be Blood will be one of those movies you keep hearing & reading up this Awards season. Some are calling the film a masterpiece, similar to Citizen Kane and the Treasure of Sierra Madre. Others are praising Daniel Day Lewis for his outstanding performance as the oil tycoon Daniel Plainview. The movie is only in limited theaters right now, but when it expands into more theaters; be sure to check out this excellent film!

The film is inspired or loosely based on Upton Sinclair’s 1927 novel “Oil!” There Will Be Blood starts out in the late 1800’s, as you see a dirty silver miner looking for silver, gold and whatever else that will make him rich. You don’t hear anyone talk in the opening 15 minutes, as you just watch Daniel Plainview’s (Daniel Day-Lewis) operation grow from 1 person to a group of men as they discover oil. Daniel Plainview becomes quite rich and a cutthroat businessman and will do whatever it takes for him to continue to be wealthy. He’s a misanthrope and in the end, just wants to make enough money so he can be left alone. He gets a tip to drill oil in a small religious town called Little Boston. There Plainview meets his match, and encounters Eli Sunday (Paul Dano), a creepy evangelical minister who wants Daniel to fund money for his new church. They become bitter rivals instantly and the film shows what men will do to one-up each other. It also shows what wealth and power will do to a man, resulting in their downfall.

I had no intentions of seeing There Will Be Blood so soon in theaters, but I kept reading about how this movie was practically a masterpiece and Daniel Day Lewis gives a performance that will be remembered for ages. Since I loved Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York and Last of the Mohicans, I had to go see this. I was simply blown away by DDL’s performance and really hope he gets an Oscar for it because he deserves it. He makes his character so likable and you end up rooting for him, even though he’s an angry, money-loving asshole. But you still can’t help but cheer him on and laugh at the stuff he says or does. I think it’s a character we all will remember for years to come.

The direction, acting, writing, cinematography, and the score all deserve to be recognized. Besides Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano also gave a great performance as Eli Sunday. He played the character so creepy and he reminded me of a pedophile priest and one who is so brainwashed & full of shit at the same time. I practically applauded when Daniel Plainview smack the crap out of him in the mud half way through the movie. Paul Dano has come a long way since being the geeky teenager from The Girl Next Door who ends up being in a porn movie. One of the biggest & noticeable things in the movie besides Daniel Day-Lewis is the score from Radiohead’s guitarist Jonny Greenwood. As soon as the movie starts, you notice the mystic, haunting sounds of the score. Throughout the movie, you just notice the score and it fits the movie so well. I’m not sure how it will sound just on an album, but it really helped set the mood of the film. It’s almost like a Bernard Hermann score combine with the motifs from Lost (when something happens and it goes to a commercial). I was really surprised that someone from Radiohead could make a memorable score like that. I'm curious if Greenwood will continue to do scoring after this and what he will bring to the table for the next movie.

I don't think everyone will like There Will Be Blood, because the movie is almost 3 hours and maybe the subject matter of the film isn't appealing to everyone. I'm not sure people want to watch a cranky misanthrope manipulating people and becoming rich for 3 hours. I know I did and the payoff in the end is worth it. “I'm finished.”

Just Like Home

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 11:13:14 GMT

Just Like Home is a Danish comedy about a small town who become very concerned after hearing news of a streaker walking through town. The film revolves around a half-dozen of the townspeople who participate in an attempt to find the streaker, and meanwhile begin to deal with their own lives. At times, this feels like a pleasant, light-hearted comedy, but it too often falls flat by being as dull as the town itself. The characters are never fully established, and there is very little reason for the audiences to sympathize with any of the characters. Director Scherfig has had some of her film attract international audiences (Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself, Italian For Beginners), but I think this film is best seen by its domestic Danish audience. I feel like it's best seen by small-town Scandinavian audiences, rather than foreign film festival audiences. It's not bad per se, but it really doesn't offer anything worth re-watching or recommending.

WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2008

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 05:18:54 GMT

You want to know when the last time I played a wrestling game? It was back in the NES days in the 80s. Wrestling games have improved a lot since then; better graphics, cooler moves, various gaming modes. But in the end, a wrestling game is the same thing it has always been, just more advanced. While WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2008 may appeal to wrestling fans mostly, the game is still entertaining to play if you’re not a wrestling fan. (like myself).

The game combines WWE Smackdown and Raw and has been a successful series so far for Playstation 2. The game is also available on other platforms but since I’m cheap, I reviewed the game on the Playstation 2. I don't play video games as often as I use to so there's no need for PS3. But the first thing I noticed when I turned on the game is how long everything took to load up. For someone who doesn’t play video games as much as I use to, this is a big negative with me. I just don’t have the patience to sit through video games loading, and loading. Like who cares about the wrestlers making their way to the ring. People just want to beat the crap out of each other, who cares about that in a video game. Just turn the damn thing and let’s go already. It seriously took me like 8 minutes to even get to a game mode.

I thought the graphics were pretty good. The characters' movement didn't look too awkward. I don't know who any of these wrestlers are so I can't tell you how well the game characters resemble their real selves. It took some time to get use to the controls, and how the game works. Maybe it would have helped if I read the manual beforehand? It just seemed whatever I hit, the guy kicked and then the computer character would grab the leg. That grew tiresome after awhile. So I suggest you read on how to work your character before playing because I had no clue what I was doing and just kept hitting buttons over and over. Besides just playing one game, you can play several game modes as well. I didn't bother to check those out though. Other features available in the game include online gameplay where other wrestling gamers can compete against each other. You can also customize your players as well, which is always fun to do.

Overall, WWE Smackdown VS RAW 2008 has some good qualities to it, but in the end I think it’s a disappointment. Some things are just too clunky and confusing to me. As a sometimes-gamer, I'm not sure I would have bought this game but perhaps wrestling fans/gamers will appreciate this PS2 game more than I did.

Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 05:32:13 GMT

When I originally heard of “Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’s”, I thought to myself what any intelligent person with the slightest shred of musical knowledge would have, “Oh no! Not the 80’s. Why would they do this to me?” I think that the worst music of all time was created during this decade…hair metal. (Nu Metal comes in a close second.) I figured that hair metal would be heavily featured and that the game would contain track after track of songs about partying with girls by guys that look like girls. But alas, as the song list was ever so slowly revealed, there were some decent tracks that started to appear. Oingo Boingo, Eddie Money, The Police, Anthrax, Iron Maiden and the Dead Kennedys caught my eye. It was also becoming well known that the game would be a shortened version of the previous two Guitar Hero games. There would be no bonus tracks, only one unlockable character and only thirty songs total. Oh yeah, and it would be $50 for the game which was the same price for the previous individual Guitar Hero’s. So the day came, the game was released and I bought it. Was it worth it?

First of all, no matter what, I was not paying fifty dollars for this game due to the fact that it’s pretty much a watered down version of the other GH games. I managed to catch a Best Buy pre-order sale and got it for a lot cheaper. After cracking the game open, I flew through the first 17 songs on Hard in about an hour. Then the game screwed me over with two songs that are extremely difficult for a semi-decent Hard player. So I decided to play through the game on Medium because I’m a sissy and I was getting pretty pissed at “What I Like About You”. In another two hours or so, I had all of the songs unlocked with five stars on all of them on Medium on the first try and a few perfect songs. I went back into the Quick Play mode and tried some of the other songs on Hard and found that most of them were easier than the ones that I got stuck on. That makes sense, doesn’t it?

Out of the thirty songs that you are generously given here, I found quite a few that were extremely fun to play. There were just about as many that reached the rock out level on this game as there were on GH2. “I Wanna Rock” was a power chord rock fest, “Turning Japanese” had a good variety of fast strumming and chords, “Police Truck” was just flat-out furious and “Only A Lad” was just pure fun. On the negative side of things, other than the fact that I had to listen to Skid Row, Poison and Winger is that it seemed like a lot of the songs just wouldn’t end. Even some of the songs that were semi-fun to play got turned into a repetitive bore and there were a few songs that had what seemed like one minute breaks smack dab in the middle or at the beginning of the song. You really shouldn’t have to listen to “We Got The Beat” any longer than a sane person would want to.

Overall, with Activision finally taking over the GH license and apparently looking to get a quick cash in (which they did), the definitely did not take the time that they should have with this game to make it into a true Guitar Hero representation. Even though the track listing was diverse, just imagine what could have been if they would have put a full GH set list in there as well as all the fun they would have had with unlockable characters that would have both made fun of as well as paid tribute to many notable rock figures from the 80’s. (The Grim Flav was a nice touch) They could have done so much more with the game but they didn’t and although fun at times, “Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s” plays through quick and finds itself sitting on the shelf while I drool at all of the awesome songs and features that are going to appear on Guitar Hero III.

Lost Planet: Extreme Condition

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 06:09:00 GMT

Before I start my review, let me preface it with the fact that I am a recent XBOX 360 owner, and in so, I am continually baffled by how intense the graphics and sound are.

That being said, Lost Planet: Extreme Condition put my senses in a blender from the minute I turned it on.

The general premise: Humans have colonized a frozen planet in the not too distant future. The problem? The locals, a race of violent bug creatures known as Akrid, are not too happy with our presence there. The pitfalls of trying to survive a well below freezing environment are somewhat overcome by harvesting thermal energy which is used by the Akrid. Throughout the course of the game, the general focus is to kill or be killed, both of which happen a lot, at least for this novice.

The game opens with a flashback scene, in which you are a participant. It is a nice change from the standard “tutorial” sections of most games, because it actually gets you immediately involved in the story. As you are learning your controls, and figuring out the combat system, the vital back story is being told. I had to run through the tutorial area a couple of times, just to get used to the controls, and to figure out how not to die. Anyone familiar with the console series Halo should have no problem picking it up quickly.

Once you have completed the tutorial, you are transported a few years into the future, where apparently you are the only one who still remembers how to pilot the Vital suits; giant Mech type vehicles which you climb into, and nuke the hell out of anything in your path. As you come to find, your energy is constantly depleting, so there is no time for rest. Each bad guy you kill drops a thermal pack that regenerates some of this energy, but you really have to keep pushing forward to stay alive.

One of my favorite features of the game is the fact that you can use multiple tactics to take down the bosses and/or bad guys. There is no “correct” strategy to use, which allows the player a lot of freedom.

Another great part of the game is the sense of urgency. You absolutely have to keep moving, or you will eventually die. This adds to the immersion of the game immensely, and really gets the player involved with the character.

The graphics are incredibly well done. Walking through the frozen mountains and hillsides, I almost felt as if I was freezing myself. Nothing is quite as shocking as trudging through a tranquil snow field, only to have a gigantic, fire truck sized bug jump out at you from under the ground. I don’t think I have been that startled since Resident Evil 2, which I had to stop playing completely due to potential heart failure.

The sound quality is top notch. Hearing bugs in front of you, and all around you, flanking you, is enough to put you on your toes. Each gun has its own, unique and distinct sound that really puts you in the action. My only gripe, sound wise, is the voice acting. I have never really been thoroughly impressed by voice acting in a video game, but this one seemed much less than normal, especially considering the rest of the very detailed and beautiful production.

Overall, this game is amazingly fun, and one that I am proud to have in my growing collection. My next assignment is to hook up to XBOX Live and head into the multiplayer game, just to see if my skills are up to par with the other Lost Planeteers out there. (Although I somehow think I will be continually owned by 11 and 12 year olds from Oklahoma)

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:44:57 GMT

Continuing in the mold of the X-Men Legends games, Activision expands their vision and set their sights on the entire Marvel universe. Well, not exactly the entire Marvel universe, I mean you won’t be seeing a cameo of Bucky Barnes or Typeface but when their giving you Beta Ray Bill and Moon Knight, what more could you ask for? Dr. Doom has once again decided that he needs to rule everyone in the known universe and he has enlisted an endless list of superhero punching bags, or Masters of Evil as some like to call them, to carry out his plans. Only a handful of Marvel’s greatest can put an end to Doom’s plan and send him back to where he belongs once and for all…the recycling center.

With Ultimate Alliance, Activision took the X-Men Legends format as well as some reoccurring X-characters like Storm and Wolverine and basically dropped in some big name Marvel Comics characters. If you’ve played either of the Legends games, then you should be able to just pick up a controller and jump right into it. There are subtle differences, but we’ll get to that later.

One of the biggest selling points for UA was the fact that you finally get the chance to play as some of the biggest names in the comics biz and instead of them having their own individual games, they’re all easily compacted into one for you this time. Have you always dreamed of getting rid of Reed Richards and replacing him with Captain America in the Fantastic Four or did you ever hyperventilate while imagining a team of Thor, Wolverine, Ghost Rider and Spider-Man going up against the likes of Fin Fang Foom? No? Well then, you probably shouldn’t be playing this game in the first place. If you have dreamed of the endless possibilities for years, much like I have most of my life (Yep, I’m a comic geek and proud of it.) then Ultimate Alliance will cure all of your fan-boy fantasies. Just about right off the bat, you’re given twenty of the most powerful Marvelites at your disposal. Much like in X-Men Legends, you can put certain combinations of characters together and receive stat bonuses. If you play as all four members of the Fantastic Four you get one type of bonus. If you take a team of Avengers into the field, you’ll receive a different kind of bonus. There are a lot of combinations and you can have a lot of fun just trying to figure some of the more obscure ones out. The character selection is chock full of A List characters as well as fan favorites and Marvel movie characters. I was disappointed that there was no Hulk and that their choice of X-Men characters was lacking. I really don’t think that Iceman, Storm or Deadpool needed to be in there and I would have preferred maybe Cyclops, Emma Frost or Jean Grey. They could have even cut out all of the X-Men characters other than fan favorite Wolverine since he’s an Avenger now and put in some more regular heroes. I also didn’t think that Elektra needed to be included. She has a cameo in one sucky movie and then stars in another and she gets to be in a video game as a playable character over Hawkeye or the Vision because…? Speaking of another personal preference for a playable character, does anyone else think that the Punisher would have made a pretty cool character in the game? Think about it. Every one of his moves could include some kind of gun being used in one way or another followed by many big explosions. Frank Castle for president!

Besides the large number of playable characters, there are even more cameo appearances. It seems like just about Marvel character shows up at some point in the game. Even obscure X-Men/Spider-Man villain Arcade shows up. How about that for digging deep? Speaking of Arcade, he brings to mind the totally awesome levels that you can play in. We finally get the chance to live it up in places such as Murderworld, Asgard, the Shi’ar Galaxy, and Mephisto’s Realm. Mephisto’s Realm!!! ’Nuff said. You also get to hang out at some cool base locations like Stark Tower and the moon. And did I mention that the Watcher makes an appearance? Yeah, the Watcher kicks ass!

Now as the comic geek in me has finally calmed down, we can discuss the innards of the game itself. I’ll start with the graphics. As I mentioned before, Activision just took X-Men Legends, dropped in non-mutant characters and changed the art for the levels. It’s not that generic, but you get a lot of the same dark and dingy metal hallways and boiler room looking levels. Murderworld was probably the most creative level because you got the chance to play in a giant pinball machine complete with exploding pinballs and electrically charged bumpers. And imagine this…playing a game of Pitfall but instead of Pitfall Larry or whatever the hell his name is, you can play as Wolverine or Captain America. Yeah, it’s in the game. Activision did try to mix it up a little bit with some overhead views and semi-grounded over the shoulder looks. The problem with those was that the camera views seemed too distant and the controls weren’t as precise. Now that we are on the subject of differences between Ultimate Alliance and X-Men Legends, one of the new features revolves around unlocking characters various uniforms. Well what’s so different about that you ask? Unlike in X-Men Legends where unlocking a new costume does nothing more than invoke more fanboy geekness, in Ultimate Alliance unlocking new unis also unlocks new powers unique to each individual costume. Each character has four uniforms, one to start with and three unlockables. This idea is either hit or miss and I find it missing most of the time. Take Wolverine for instance. Everyone knows that he has a healing factor and that in Legends, if you built his healing factor up enough, he would heal almost instantly. He still wasn’t invincible but was damn near close. Now in UA, Wolverine has a slight healing factor, but you can only build it up if you unlock the Astonishing X-Men costume. It really doesn’t make sense. As much as I love Wolvie’s brown suit, I’m deterred from playing in it because Wolverine doesn’t have his healing factor in it. The same goes for Luke Cage (even though I don’t recall him ever having a healing factor), but he has one with his street thug clothes and I’m deterred from playing as the classic disco era silk shirt Luke Cage that everyone knows and loves. Most of the costume features don’t really bring the excitement and variety that the game seemed to push in its’ prerelease days. Do you really need resistance and more XP stats when you could resurrect an ally or heal quicker?

On the flipside of the whole costume ordeal, instead of putting some characters in the multitude of crappy costumes that they’ve worn over the years, Activision decided to throw in comic geeks most popular. Included are the black Spidey outfit as well as the “Civil War” edition Iron Spider suit, Wolverine’s brown costume from the 70’s, World War II Captain America, classic Thor, Daredevil yellow as well as the black armor, original Ghost Rider, and snow man Iceman. And the thing is, those aren’t even the coolest costume in the game. In fact, the coolest costumes in the game aren’t just costumes. They are actually totally different characters. One of Thor’s costumes is none other than one of my favorite Marvel characters of all time…Beta Ray Bill. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would some day be able to play as Beta Ray Bill in a video game. I would have to say that unlocking the Bill costume was probably one of my personal favorite greatest moments in video gaming…followed immediately by unlocking Daredevil’s black armor. Some of the other character costumes include War Machine, US Agent, Julia Carpenter Spider-Woman and Phantom Rider to name a few.

In just a few short words, I would have to rate Ultimate Alliance as the greatest comic book video game ever made. With an epic storyline scripted by professional comic book writers, a list of heroes that includes Captain America, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Daredevil and the Fantastic Four, and equally impressive list of villains from every dark corner of the Marvel Universe that includes Dr. Doom, Loki, Ultron, the Mandarin, Baron Mordo and Bullseye, as well as an easy to use interface with simple controls and pretty good graphics, everything here points to hours upon hours of your precious life dedicated to stopping Galactus from devouring an innocent planet and finally putting an end to Dr. Doom’s evil plan of universal domination. Grab a friend, or two or three…yes, it is multiplayer and you can also play online with friends with no faces…and call your vacation time in because once you pick this game up, you’ll be hooked for a very very very long time, and you’ll love every frickin’ minute of it. Avengers Assemble!!!! It’s clobberin’ time!!! Spooooon!!!

Guitar Hero 2

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:36:48 GMT

Red Octane’s mega-hit is back with the second installment of Guitar Hero and this time they have Activision covering their backs. How could they possibly top the first one? With more songs, more characters, more features, more guitars and just about more of everything.

The first time that I placed my lanky fingers upon the Guitar Hero controller in Best Buy last year, I was hooked. I found a good deal on E-Bay and played the living hell out of the first one. When I heard that a sequel was already in the works, I felt like a kid waiting for Christmas morning and I don’t get excited about too many games anymore. Almost immediately following the announcement of Guitar Hero II, song wishlists began popping up all over the Internet. Everyone wanted their favorite band that no one has ever heard of to be included in the game and everyone else wanted (insert name of uber popular mainstream radio friendly band here) to be included. Well the people at Red Octane must have been listening because they took the playlist and upped it to 60+ songs and have included something for just about every music fan in the world…unless you listen to techno and we all know that techno just plain sucks. The list of songs is ridiculously great and much more varied than in the first game if that’s possible. There are also a couple of master tracks or original recordings by the original artist scattered into the regular song rotation. Guitar Hero 2 seems to focus more on indie bands and metal. Of course, the classic rock takes center stage but the 80’s are much more represented than before with bands like the Police, Motley Crue and Warrant but to equal out the 80’s cheese fest, real music fans will be glad to see that the “sounds of the 90’s” rock out harder than before. Alice In Chains, the Foo Fighters, Stone Temple Pilots, Danzig, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Primus, and Janes Addiction make their presence felt. Much to my surprise, one of my favorite bands, the Living End, was a later addition to the playlist before the game was released. Also included were songs from Internet icon Stong Bad as well as Adult Swim’s Dethklok from Metalocalypse. Personally, I like the variety of GH 2’s song list but the shear star power (pun intended) of the songs in GH 1 has yet to be matched. Those songs were B-I-G and most of the stuff in the sequel seems B Level at best. I’m also disappointed that there have yet to be any Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Green Day Guitar Hero sightings yet but hey, Van Halen and Guns N Roses and I’m happy.

Besides expanding the playlist, Red Octane decided to include different ways to play a song. Now you can play the lead guitar, rhythm guitar or bass on whatever song you like. I was mislead into believing that you could do this during the regular career mode, but unfortunately this option is only available in the multiplayer and practice modes. So if you don’t know anyone else that clunked down eighty bucks on GH2, you’re kinda screwed. Practicing a song gets boring pretty quick. Speaking of practice mode, that’s another new feature to Guitar Hero 2. You can slow down or speed up a song or just select and play a certain part of a song that’s been giving you trouble. Practice mode is just on of the multitude of new modes that have been added. There are also new multiplayer modes such as Cooperative, Face-Off, and Pro Face Off. With Cooperative, you can play one of the three guitar modes with a friend and your slow friend can play on Easy while you rip through a song on Expert. The time for sympathy for your idiot friend who still can’t go from green to red on Easy is over!

Now one would think that the addition of a crap load more songs and a handful of new play modes would be enough for most developers to call it quits and push the game out of the door. Nope. We’re not done yet. Many of the shredders from Guitar Hero past reappear in the sequel as well as a handful of new players such as a rockabilly character, a death metal guy and a Jimi Hendrix-like character. Oh yeah, and the Grim Ripper is back and badder than ever. On top of the new characters are the new venues that include way more animations than in the previous game with much more going on in the background. A Warped Tour venue even shows up complete with a graveyard theme. Last but not least and in my mind the coolest addition to Guitar Hero 2 is the new encore feature. After playing the last song in your set before you continue on to the next group of songs, you are now given the option to unlock and play an encore song for your gracious and adoring fans. They sure did pick some kick ass songs for the encore too…“Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns N Roses, “Last Child” by Aerosmith, “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath and “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight” by Spinal Tap. Yes, I said Spinal Tap complete with exploding drummer.

To wrap things ups, Guitar Hero 2 took the groundwork that GH 1 laid and like any good sequel, improved upon it drastically. With a zillion different modes, a slew of songs along with new characters, venues, animations, etc., the second installment of Guitar Hero brings a lot more to the table in just about every category including fun factor. The multiplayer modes as well as the various degrees of difficultly give the game great replay power. At times it is frustrating with how hard some of the songs are on the higher difficulty modes and it is odd that you have to really practice hard just to play a video game, but for this kind of game, that’s just how it is. If you play the game a lot, which you will, you’ll get a great sense of accomplishment when you’ve made it through the harder difficulty levels because, well…you’ve earned it. And your friends will no doubt be most impressed. So gather all your friends, head over to the friend with the biggest TV and sound system and fantasize about rocking all that exists from the comfort of their living room.

Frank Darabont's Stephen King's The Mist

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 07:04:00 GMT

Well kids I was in the mood for some awesome movie about monsters and junk so I went to see the Mist, thinking, hey, there were evil bat monsters in the preview so maybe it’s totally awesome. Well guess what, it was totally crap. Its written by Stephen King and directed by Frank Darabont who is most famous because he, made two previous movies based on Kings books - Shawshank Redemption, about a guy jerking off to a Rita Haysworth poster in prison for three hours, and The Majestic, about a guy renovating a movie theater for three hours.

Mist a story about an evil fog that comes in and brings bat monsters and other crap. Well guess what? Mr Darabong and Mr King have totally ripped off a far older story called, Silent Hill. It was a brilliant old Nintendo game series about a town that got covered with fog that brought a bunch of bat monsters and crap. In fact the bat monsters are the first thing you rumble with in the game just like in the movie. Theres even an tornado siren just like in the Silent Hill movie, only instead of hopping back and forth between evil monster time and hot girls time, it just stays evil monster time. Which wood be pretty cool except instead of doing all monsters, it does a bunch of stupid pansies stuck in a grocery store.

And it gets worse. Yes there are evil bat monsters, but most of the monsters look like grouchy praying mantisises. And theres also this big scene wit ha tentacle monster, what is this, Japanimation porn?! But instead of hot schoolgirls with giant boobs getting tentacled like God clearly intended, it was just some lame guys, another subtle illusion to Hollywood’s gay agenda of evil and perversion. Damn you Hollywood and you’re evil liberal ways!!!

This is also supposed to be a horror movie but guess what? There’s like two drops of blood in the whole thing. Everyone knows that REAL horror is about people being ripped open and gutted by other people for no apparent reason, having suspense and strange monsters you cant see is just lazy writing. Stupid hack King.

Speaking of King, I wrote in a recent awesome blog about a great movie called Running Man, that this beautiful vision of the future was written by a guy Backman who vanished into obscurity while stupid liberal pansies like Stephen King get all super rich making crappy movies about tentacle monsters who go after guys? WTF is wrong with this country!! This is why I don’t read! You ruined books for me Stephen King!

So anyway theres also all this buzz about the great ending in The Mist, but I don’t see whats so great about everyone's, characters getting the virus and turning into monsters. Its been done u stupid jerks! Stop pretending like that’s original! Oh crap spoiler alert, oh well, its not really worth it, LOL.

Well anyway this movie is stupid and you should avoid it at all costs!

Radiohead - In Rainbows

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 11:08:27 GMT

The first thing I should say, before I get into anything else, is that if you've bought Radiohead's In Rainbows via their website, you've been swindled. Why in the world would you pay for it when you could get it for free? Idiot.

So, anyways, as every indie rock nerd knows, Radiohead has released a new album. Sort of. I don't know if it's technically called releasing because I wasn't given anything to review. Secondly, they think they're cool by announcing that you can only download it from their site, which is fully monopolizing on the industry! They're worse than AT & T! Plus, there's also a huge problem with all of this: the new album sucks.

I'll be honest in saying that I never really liked Radiohead. They always struck me as this mediocre bar band with the world's worst vocalist. And I know it worked for a while for Guns N Roses, but these guys don't even rock out. They write boring, mid-tempo songs about robots and stuff, and then add some stupid electronica to it and call it art. But what's worse is the legion of fans that seem to eat up every single B through L side of every track and holding them in only the highest esteem. I have yet to meet a Radiohead fan that doesn't like any single track they have performed. I mean, even Rick Springfield has had some bad songs. The new "album" (I'll get to why I put it in quotations later) is full of all of said bad songs, with nary a song that is even remotely engaging or on a level at par with most of the rest of the music out today. I mean, even fucking Deerhoof have better songs than this (albeit not many). All you get is more of the same overrated band that seems to have figured out how to get really rich without actually trying. I mean, for all you know, these guys could've recorded the album on their home computer and are making nothing but profit. Which gets me to my next point.

It seems to me like Radiohead are exactly the kind of greedy and pretentious assholes that would make you pay your own price for nothing but low quality mp3s. I mean you don't even get liner notes! But listen to this: you can pay as much as you deem worthy, but if you haven't heard the tracks, how are you supposed to know what to pay? If anything, they should let you download the songs first and decide what to pay afterwards. But not only that, I've heard that people are paying over $10 for a download, these being the same very people who download every other album they have on their computer for free. So why Radiohead? Are they really that much in need of your money that you can rip off a band form Arkansas who are just trying to put food on the table? I'm pretty sure Radiohead can feed themselves. Furthermore, when most bands put out real albums, most of the money goes into production costs, promotion, recording, and taxes, so the band gets about one or two dollars per album sold. Here those filthy sneaky assholes in Radiohead are taking ALL of your money and blowing it on various expensive drugs. If anything, the next time they come to your town to play live, they should pay YOU!

But beyond the ripoff of this whole ordeal, my biggest problem with this is it is not an album. It is a collection of mp3s that don't actually exist because you can't buy it in the store. They are nothing but binary code. Let's look at a breakdown here:

Computer: real

Compact Disc: real

Internet: fake

Internet porn: fake but awesome

Mp3s of songs from a compact disc: fake

Radiohead's In Rainbows: fake and assholes

By this logic, because the album doesn't actually exist and I can't hold it in my hands it's not an album. It's no better than that friend of mine, the prince in Burkina Faso who's going to be sending me a huge cheque any day now. Because they didn't send me anything and I refuse to pay for the album, I haven't even actually listened to it. I just know based on my own prejudgments and assumptions that it's going to suck and those douches in Radiohead are running all the way to the bank.

Transformers

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 04:20:34 GMT

Long ago, at the dawn of the cgi era, it was announced by the Powers That Be that a live action Transformers movie would at long last be made, and everybody was happy. Yes everybody, because anyone who says he isn't a transformers fan is a jerk and a liar. Yeah, I'm talking to you, guy that's reading this review but claiming to not be a fan. Anyway, the world was stunned by the announcement that michael Bay would be filming the movie and raping our collective childhoods much like George Lucas did with his version of The Grinch that Stole Christmas. Remember that train reck? God that was awful.

So now Bay has made his remake of Transformers: The movie, and guess what? He messed it all up! There are no minicons! There is no mention of Primus and Unicron. What is up with that? The transformers were created by a giant cube that transforms into a tiny cube, much like a giant robot transforming into a tiny boombox in the cartoon! That was silly and ridiculus! Damn u Michael Bay for changing the story! Couldnt you even put in a optimus primal or something? Ass.

And guess what? The Optimus he did bother to put in the movie has ugly ridiculus flames that RUINED the whole movie!!! flames! Seriously! WTF. Gross. And the transformers were barely in it, the story was all about the dorky teenage kid that nobody likes, and the gross slimy fat nerd boy hackers and the supermodel girl hacker, and the secretary of defense, and those guys in the army, and the used car salesman, and the arctic explorer, and the dumb jock bully guy, and the secret government agents guys, and the crazy grandma and the dancing video game guy and the weirdo that's totally in love with his lawn… it goes on and on. Galvatron is the only decepticon that even speaks! Wtf. I think maybe Starscream mumbled something during his two minutes of screen time.

And of course Hollywood elite liberal Bay has made yet another liberal communist propaganda film, where commie pinko Optimus is always droning on about how everybody deserves to be free and happy, apparently even people who aren't rich and white. God damn commie bastard. And America-hating Bay has made the president a dumb guy who likes twinkies., God damn it. You suck, Comrade Bay!

Now some people bitch an moan that this is a three hour toy commercial. Not true. It's a three hour ebay commercial. And paypal. Evil, evil paypal. Not a scene goes by without a human or even giant robot whoring themselves out for ebay. WTF is up with that? God damn you hollywood sellouts. OMG GO BUY TRANSFORMERS TOYS ON EBAY!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Ebay whorage aside the story was completely ripped off from independence day, from the alien invasion to the secret government instellation that had a really old crashed alien being held for study. But of course Bay didn't have the brilliance or balls to have Jeff "The" Goldblum kill the decepticons with his ass-kicking laptop. No instead we get Stupid Wiener Kid saving the day with his mighty ebay glasses. Whatever. And don't get me started on Galvatron turning into a stealth bomber instead of a badass cannon.

AND WHERE THE HELL WAS LEADER ONE?! WHO PUT OPTIMUS PRIMAL IN CHARGE IN THE FIRST PLACE? WTF!!

I guess my point is, this movie sucks ass and is a disgrace to the transformers name. Thats what we get for putting a stupid non transformers fan in charge of making a movie. Who gave this guy money to make it anyway? Some stupid Hollywood liberal, no doubt. You suck my ass, hollywood!!!!!

In conclusion, from now on everybody should call michael bay, michael "sellout" ebay! HA!

Spiderman 3

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 02:28:21 GMT

One of the best perks of working for a mildly successful internet entertainment site is getting to see blockbuster movies even before the stars get to see them. I was entitled to a private screening last weekend and I have a few things to say about this movie.

Firstly and foremostly, I really didn't understand the need for the black suit. Who does Spidey think he is, Batman? I was almost expecting nipples like on the Batman suit. Either way, this one is far different than the Spiderman we all know and love. He's way angrier, and he even beats up innocent civilians! I swear, it was like Grand Theft Auto. Except with Spiderman.

Now although that paragraph might make it sound like I didn't like this movie, I sorta really did. I'm not even sure what the whole plot was, but there were some amazing action scenes. My favourite was the one where the Green Goblin attacks Spiderman. But get this - he's not in his uniform so he can't fling webs or climb up walls! It's pretty crazy.

You know what else is crazy? How hot Kristen Dunst is! I even sat through that weird foreign movie Marie Antoinette just to see her hotness. She is equally hot in this one too. And even though there's no rainy scene where you can almost see her nipples, she is still very sexy. Tobey Maguire is pretty lucky to get to work with her.

Now as for villains, I didn't really like these ones as much as the ones in the first two movies. Sandman is totally lame. I guess sand is a cool thing to shoot. But you know what would be cooler? Fire! Or ninja stars! Who the fuck cares about sand? And then there's Eddy Brock, who all you comic book nerds know will eventually turn into Venom. But he doesn't even turn into Venom until the twist ending where he sneaks up and kills Mary Jane (oops....spoilers....). So I mean Spiderman doesn't even get a chance to fight him. The worst one is Green Goblin. He's actually really cool, but they used him already. Twice! If they were going to bring anyone back, they should've brought back Doc Ock. He was the coolest.

So overall, I have to say that the movie isn't as good as the first two, but it's worth seeing, if only for the awesome action and the special effects. Did I mention that there's also an awesome cameo by Bruce Campbell as ASH FROM EVIL DEAD? Because there is. It's hard to see, but if you look closely enough, you'll see him.

TMNT

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 11:58:14 GMT

Ever since Frank Miller created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles way back in 1985, these green reptiles have been going strong ever since. This marks their fourth appearance in a feature length motion picture and quite possibly the worst one of them all.

Rumor has it that Frank Miller originally created the Ninja Turtles as villains to appear on his Daredevil run but the big shots wanted nothing to do with them because they were much too similar to the characters in Marvel’s flagship title “X-Men”. Miller decided to sell the rights to Playmates and cartoons, comic books, action figures and many glorious spin-offs were spawned.

Enough history, it’s time to talk movie here. With TMNT, gone are the Jim Henson puppet suits and instead they are replaced by sub-par Pixar animation. I don’t know if it’s lack of funding or just pure disrespect for the technology that they use, but ever since Toy Story, Pixar’s quality has dropped like Enron stocks. TMNT is way too dark and dreary for a kid’s movie. The backgrounds mud together a lot, the characters look rubbery and blurred at times and the plot…don’t even get me started on the plot. The plot was pretty much stolen from one of the greatest movies of all time, Independence Day. Aliens attack Chicago with plans to take over the world and the Turtles get mad at the aliens for wrecking their van and decide to get revenge. A long and boring movie ensues.

I was really expecting much more from TMNT then was received. First of all, the movie took place in the city at night. Didn’t Mr. Miller get the clue after Turtles III, that everything is so much cooler when it takes place in feudal Japan? I mean, you could take GI Joe and place them in feudal Japan and voila, instant success! I was also really disappointed with the lackluster star talent for the voices. Instead of bringing in real movie stars like Nicholas Cage and Billy Bob Thorton, we get B-Level TV actors such as Patrick Stewart and Sarah Michelle Gellar. This isn’t Star Trek Voyager you know. As with most other Turtles movies, the writer has decided that we need to see more of Casey Jones. I’m sure that everyone will agree with me here that we’re sick and tired of the psychopath with a hockey mask who got his name from a Grateful Dead song. We want more Neutrinos!!! The Neutrinos pretty much saved the Turtles franchise back in the 90’s and this would have been the perfect opportunity for those wacky alien hipsters to make their big screen debut. But alas, it was not meant to be.

If you’re thinking about checking this movie out and are a big fan of the Turtles and their spin-off series called Usagi Yojimbo, avoid this film at all costs. It’s nowhere near the overall quality of T2: The Secret of the Ooze and you don’t even get a catchy rap song to go with it. With the recent animated series and now this poor excuse for an animated film (why can’t everything be the quality of Fieval Goes West?), it looks like the Ninja Turtles franchise is finally dead.