24: The Drinking Game

Articles | Mar 17th, 2006

Plastic Death Match Presents:

Hey kids! Want to be as drunk as possible for as long as possible? Grab yourself a few bottles of booze, pop in a 24 DVD, and marathon an entire season while playing this drinking game! Just… um… try not to poison yourself.

Take one drink if…

– Jack draws his gun and yells.
– Tony complains about breaking rules and tries to stop someone from doing so.
– Tony complains about breaking rules… and does it anyway.
– Someone tells Chloe to shut up and do her job/get back to work.
– Palmer has a crisis of conscience.
– A CTU employee turns out to be a traitor.
– A woman turns out to be evil.
– Jack disobeys a direct order.
– Two CTU employees reveal their love for each other.
– A member of Palmer’s staff does something bad.
– A major crisis leads into a bigger crisis or conspiracy.
– Kim gets kidnapped.
– Someone from Jack’s past seeks revenge.
– A major event occurs exactly on the hour.
– There’s some gratuitous undressing/near-nudity.
– An innocent (or mostly innocent) bystander unwittingly becomes a key player in the day’s events.
– Sherry gloats about being an evil, manipulative bitch.
– Jack tries to convince the bad guys he’s turned evil by mentioning his wife’s death.
– A major injury or illness randomly stops being a problem and is ignored or forgotten for the rest of the episode/season.
– Someone heads to the CTU restrooms to make a phone call.
– A cell phone stops working just when it’s needed most.
– Secret Service agent Aaron helps Palmer out of a tight spot, passes on some wise advice, or otherwise does something more useful than anyone else from Palmer’s staff or cabinet.
– Palmer asks Jack to take on the tough assignments or dirty work.
– Jack tortures someone.
– Kim wears something extremely revealing.
– Jack and Tony have an argument.

Take two drinks if…

– Jack and Tony have a fistfight.
– Someone attempts to assassinate Palmer.
– A major character dies.
– A major character should die, but doesn’t.
– Jack kills someone.
– Jack tells someone not to mess with him because he’s already killed one or more people today.
– CTU doesn’t quite manage to stop the terrorist event from happening.
– An annoying/jerky character has some touching humanizing scenes… and then dies.
– Terrorists manage to kidnap someone important.

Take three drinks if…

– Nothing interesting happens on the hour.
– CTU is blown up.
– Kim is attacked by a wild animal… for no apparent reason.
– Jack dies.