Asian Horror Remakes: Excellent? Or just plain AWFUL?

Articles | Jan 13th, 2008

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Hollywood is running out of ideas for GOOD horror movies, so what do directors/producers/and writers do? That’s right…turn to the horror masters, the Asians, and remake their masterpieces.

I absolutely LOVE Asian horror movies. They’re probably the most disturbing movies out there, even tho most of the time you have the read subtitles, visually, they’re amazing (which, is actually what a GOOD horror movie should be). When gory, they’re brutal, when haunting, they scare the shit out of you. They’re just damn good entertainment.

But now, Hollywood is on this kick, and remaking all of my favorites. And by remaking, I mean destroying.

The Grudge, I’ll admit, was pretty scary at times. But compared to the original (Ju-On), it’s nothing. I didn’t even bother with the sequel, from the trailers alone it looked like a piece of garbage, just trying to earn more money than the first one…from the name alone.

The Ring (Original trilogy simply called Ringu), was actually really really good. It was disturbing, scary, and kept up with the original as much as possible. Its sequel however, I did have the displeasure of seeing. Not only was it slow moving and boring, but, over 50 deer attacking Naomi Watts’ car? Are we serious now? Come on. Apparently, there’s a third in the works, a prequel from what I hear. Could be good. Could be awful. I’m guessing it to be pretty goddamn awful tho.

I remember sitting down watching TV one day, and coming across a commercial for One Missed Call, yet another remake. Are you KIDDING me? They turned it into some usual bullshit teen horror flick. And it’s sad you can tell that just from watching the preview. It looks like garbage, and looks like every other piece of shit horror movie that has been coming out lately. Turns out it’s exactly what I thought. I frequently check out the site here, and of course, every review of that movie, is just what i thought it would be…pure shit.

The Eye is probably one of my all time favorite (not only Asian) horror movies. It’s scary as hell, extremely disturbing, and beautifully done. What could be scarier than a blind girl getting an eye transplant (with a dead woman’s eyes…yuck…a bit too creepy even for me), while the surgery was successful, the girl starts seeing EVERYTHING the donar had seen. I don’t want to give too much more away, just go watch it!

When I was informed that they were remaking it, starring…Jessica Alba, I was a bit intrigued. Until I saw the trailers. Yet again, another screw up…

Before you bother going to see the remake in February, PLEASE do yourself a favor and rent/buy the original. Trust me. You’ll love it. Especially the ending…ahh..absolutely amazing.
The Eye (original): here

Some more remakes are in the works : A Tale of Two Sisters (probably one of the most brutal out of all that I’ve seen), and Phone (very similar to One Missed Call).
What’s next? Re-doing one of the most brutal ones of them all, Suicide Club, and making it PG-13 just like all of the others?

Suicide Club: ,here
Phone: here
A Tale of Two Sisters: here

Come on. Seriously? Even Battle Royale (another amazing flick) was copied in the movie The Condemned (starring Stone Cold Steve Austin).
Watch the trailers, and you tell me it’s not the same f-ing plot!
Battle Royale: here
The Condemned: here

These movies really need to stop being remade, or remade correctly, not just to make money. They’re being made to please the young crowd (13yrs old and younger), and they’re pissing off horror lover’s like me.

If you’re like me, and love a good scare, please don’t waste your time with these remakes, and enjoy the originals! I promise, you won’t be let down! :)