Chris Pratt Will Star In Every Movie

Articles | By on Jan 28th, 2015

Chris Pratt Will Star In Every Future Remake and Reboot

Lovable actor Chris Pratt has certainly become a bonafide movie star with starring in Guardians of the Galaxy, Parks and Recreation, the remake of The Magnificent Seven and the upcoming Jurassic World. Basically, he has been attached to star in every single reboot or remake in the next 20 years. The most recent rumor/deal is that Disney wants him to be the next Indiana Jones and that seems like a perfect choice to us. Hollywood is dumb enough to remake a lot of Hollywood classics and reboot popular franchises just for the sake of a few billion pennies. Let’s for a second, imagine if Chris Pratt was starring in every movie he was offered.

Back to the Future


Just a tad taller than Michael J. Fox but Pratt has the comedy chops to pull this off. Although, he’s probably more fitted for playing Biff right now.

Gladiator


There were talks of Gladiator 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold being made and it would be about the Queen’s son that Maximus (creepily) befriended. That little kid could turn out to be Chris Pratt!

The Matrix


The first Matrix was amazing. The last two, well…if you love hippie tribal dance scenes you’ll love those movies! I’d expect Warner Brothers wants to reboot this at some point and try to erase those disasters. All Pratt needs to do is buy some sunglasses and take loads of red pills and he’s in!

Forrest Gump


If you’ve seen Parks and Rec, Chris Pratt can play stupid…very well. Stupid is a stupid does.

Wolverine / X-Men movies


Once Hugh Jackman is tired of playing Wolverine in 30 different movies, the torch should be based to Pratt. He can bring the charm, the muscle, the wit and the classic one liners that someone playing Wolverine needs. He just has to grow out those dumb sideburns.

Tootsie


Chris already has the man boobs for the role so one less thing for the props department to make.

A Clockwork Orange


A Clockwork Orange is really dated and not at all futuristic like it was suppose to. IF the movie is remade, I’m sure Pratt will star as Alex and it will get banned in countries all over again.

Top Gun


Chris Pratt is already perfect for this role…he doesn’t need to wear lifts in his shoes like Tom Cruise had to. Aziz Ansari can play Goose and get shot down. I’d pay to see that.

Gone With The Wind


Gone With The Wind gets remade into a PC friendly, shorter movie and I can’t think of anyone better to play Rhett Butler. Although, Brett Butler is probably a good choice too.

Lawrence of Arabia


Pratt doesn’t have the nice eyes like Peter O’Toole did but he’s certainly got the abs…of course you’ll never be able to see them under the Thawb. Omar sharif is retired from acting so the next best thing to play Sherif Ali: Luis Guzman!

Rocky


Once Stallone realizes he shouldn’t be boxing at 86, he will step down and let someone else play Rocky. Chris Pratt should knock his head into the wall a few dozen times to get the sound of Sylvester Stallone JUST right.

The Goonies

pratt-goonies
If they can’t find the actor that played Chunk for the inevitable sequel or reboot…Pratt can get chunky pretty quick.

Smokey and the Bandits


Killer mustache and high pitched laughter required. They’ll need a real fat racist to play Sheriff Buford T Justice as well…I’m sure Rush Limbaugh will do it just for some pills.

E.T.


Sure, anyone can play a human but can everyone play an alien that loves Reese’s Pieces and just wants to go home?

Tommy Boy


If Chris ever got fat again, he should star in the sequel of Tommy Boy. David Spade will reprise his role since he has nothing better to do.

As you can see, this was a pretty stupid article but so is remaking all of these movies.

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