Tetris: The Fanfic

Fanfics | By on Apr 21st, 2006

No Image Found

Plastic Death Match Presents:

Once upon a time, all known existence was naught but a big empty square-like thing. Existence, as it happens, was very boring.
BUT WAIT! Suddenly a block appeared! It was a big long rectangle dealie and it fell from the top of the magical empty square box!

“Hmm, sure is empty in here,” the rectangle said to itself. “I wish I had more friends to keep me compa-AGH!” The rectangle screamed because it had been rudely smashed into the ground by a mysterious force of some sort.

Suddenly another block appeared! But this one was different!! This one was kinda shaped like an S!!! AND IT WAS PURPLE!!!!!!!

“Dum de dum, just another day in the big empty block thing,” it said. But then it realized that it wasn’t another day because it was the first day of all existence!

“HOLY CRAP this isn’t another day at all! It’s the first day of all existence! AND I’M NOT ALONE!!!”

“Hey dude, I bopped my head on the way down, you might want to watch out,” the first rectangle dealie said. But it was too late! The S block was brutally smashed into the ground, right next to Rectangle!

“Hey why do you think we’re here?” the S-block asked.

“There are many schools of thought on the subject. Some believe we are here simply to procreate, continue the species-”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“…and some believe we are here to seek deep thoughts, learn new things, expand awareness. And some think we’re here to go fly fishing, but that doesn’t make sense ’cause we’re blocks and we can’t go fishing.”

“I see. Hey look up there!”

The S-block tried to point up but couldn’t because it was a BLOCK. But the rectangle block looked up and saw a SQUARE block was falling toward them!

KABOOM went the square as it smashed into the ground at the far end of the square. The S and the Rectangle were about to comment when an L-shaped block appeared! This new block fell swiftly but slowed down at the end so that it could slide in and snuggle with the S block!

“Oh my gawd gurl u r so hawt!” the L block said. “Gimme some sugar baby!”

“Eeeeee!” the S-block said in happiness.

The cycle continued. More blocks fell, filling the big empty space so that it was now smaller and less emptier and stuff. The blocks were having a regular block party, HAW HAW HAW get it? Block party? Man, I’m a friggin’ comic genius.

So anyway, there was still a hole going all the way to the ground! And what appeared to take its place but another long rectangle block?

“Mwahaha, I am evil and will destroy you all!” Second Rectangle said.

“Hey, that’s not very nice!” First Rectangle said.

The second rectangle slid neatly into the empty slot in an entirely non-sexual way and then BOOM!! The circle was complete, as they say, and they all VANISHED INTO THIN AIR!!!

“Huh that’s odd,” said a newly arriving Z-shaped block. “I coulda sworn there was just a bunch of other blocks here all yelling at each other and such.”

“Shut up your mouth!” said the lone surviving square block down below.

“I don’t have a mouth, dimwad!” Z-block said… somehow.

“Dude, that’s right! Huh, why did I tell you to shut it then? I’m not even sure what a mouth is!”

“When I get down there, we are SO going to high-five!” Z-block said in excitement. Alas, it was not to be. The strange mysterious force suddenly grabbed Z-block and slammed it home on the other side of the big empty square!

“Sure is cold over here,” Z-block said.

“Sure is lonely over here,” Square-block said.

“Holy cow I’m falling!” New S-block said.

“Say what?” Z-block said.

“Hey I look like you, except backwards!” S-block said.

“I am a shadowy reflection of you,” Z-block said, “it would only take a nudge to make you like me, to push you out of the light, HAHAHAHAA!”

“Dude you’re a comic genius!” S-block said. “If that line was from a movie, I’d totally watch it!”

“What an odd thing to say,” Square block commented.

“Gang way, look out below!” screamed a T-block that suddenly appeared. It could have fit perfectly in a certain spot, but for some reason it went to another spot.

Suddenly, the Intergalactic Power Switch was flipped in annoyance, and all existence ceased.