Harry Potter and the Red Menace

Articles | Jul 19th, 2007

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A couple weeks back I reported in, my brilliant transformers review that Michael eBay had slipped some Communist propaganda into his Tranformers movie, thus ruining my entire childhood in one fell swoop. The heroic Reaganesque leader Optimus Prime was suddenly shilling for his red comrades. Well folks I’m sorry to say, but a far more blatant red menace has appeared, this time in the guise of crossdressing boy wizard Harry Potter.

This movie angered me so much that I cant even write a proper review for it, I can only write a article exposing it’s pure evil. Suffix it to say that if I was reviewing this trash I would gave it negative eighty million stars!

So what’s all the fuss, you say? Good question, glad you asked. See this movie is far worse propaganda than the mostly-hidden messages in eBay’s Transformers. And I’m not even talking about the obviousness of Harry and his gang’s evil devil-worshipping witchcraft as an obvious attempt by the godless commies to try and destroy America’s One True Religion. Thats been a well documented case taken on by brave groups as MAHP (Mothers Against Harry Potter), The League of Extraordinary Catholics, and HARRY (Humans Against Recognizing Reds Yearly)… OK so I made that last one up but it would be a awesome group, wouldn’t it? Who wants to be in it!?

This isn’t even about the casting of such well known liberal activist actors as Joseph Fiennes, Michael Gambon or Harry Melling. Heck, we all know that all of Hollywood is evil liberal godless sinner communist pigs, except a few brave heroes like Reagan and Fred Thompson. But it get’s worse than that. Why? Because two prominent and foolish characters are obvious liberal caricatures of our Great Leaders George W. Bush and Richard Cheney.

Take, for instance, Cornwallis Fudge (President Bush), the President of Magic (The United States) in the Harry Potter universe. He is presented in simplistic libbie light as being backwards and refusing to see the “danger” of Voldemort’s army (Iraq war) when the so-called “brave” liberals like Dumbledore try to warn the world and start a panic. And it’s even presented in a bad light when the libbies are shut down and discredited for their obnoxious alarmist ways. Our Brave Leader George W Bush has worked all his presidency to crush the stupid opposition who are undermining America and panicking the masses, and is much like the true Cornwallis Fudge of the books who clearly had his own plan to destroy Voldemort (win the Iraq war) without alarming the dumb, hysterical masses of wizards (average American citizens) but was ultimately inneffective because of low opinion polls.

Even worse is the characature of Vice President Cheney, who is presented (in the ultimate insult) as the shrill, pink-clad woman Delores Umbridge. Just like liberal fantasies they show Umbridge (Cheney) as the true power behind the bumbling ineffective Fudge (Bush). But once again they fudged the details (yeah I know, great pun! LOL) for their ridiculous comedy of insults. Where Vice President Cheney proved his amazing Alpha Male status by shooting a guy in the face with a shotgun and telling dumb liberals to “F*** off!”, Umbridge whines, screams, and is trampled by a bunch of stupid-looking horse people. I mean really, horse people? who even comes up with this nonsense? The commie libbies also twist our True American Values of unquestioning order, discipline, and blind obedience to make her look like a villain. As another liberal insult she is even dressed reminiscent of the good old days of the 1950s, a time we should all strive to return to but that liberal scum hate. Back then we didn’t have to deal with this commie nonsense promoting anarchy, and equality among the masses. Heck, they even twist, as usual, the value of interrogation and turn it into “torture”, this time via magical pen. Ha! Stupid movie.

I won’t even get started on the obvious symbology of how these commies use Voldemort’s hit squad The Death Eaters as blatant caricatures of Brave, Fair and Balanced Fox News anchors and pundits. But these caricatures are a disheartening trend already started in the previous movie, where the commie liberals caracatured brave hero Scooter Libby as a sniveling spy disguised as Allstar “Mad Eye” Moody, leaking confidential information to the enemy.

Now I know when I discuss my theory with libbies I know in real life, the one and only thread of argument they can cling to against my awesome logic and reasoning is that these movies are made by British directors and based off British books. But guess what, jerkwads!! JK Rowling is a known sympathizer with “American” communists and liberals! I even stumbled across this quote from his website:

“I love America and I spend as much time there as possible, especially in Hollywood and San Francisco because I love their liberal values. I try to avoid the areas with the heavy concentration of conservatives though because they really creep me out and are mean. Shun them!”

Unfortunately I lost the link to the specific page where is that quote is from, but I assure you its there somewhere, you just have to look for it . (Anyone who finds it, send it to me for article update with link? Thanks!!)

So in conclusion, Hollywood has once again attempted to warp the minds of young children to their evil, godless, liberal causes. Parents! Be warned! Spread the word! Witchcraft and anarchy are the order of the day! Don’t let the Red Menace resurge like this!