Jesus Christ Pornostar

Hate Mail | By on Jan 23rd, 2007

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Oddly enough, we didn’t receive much hate mail from our fake review of Passion of the Jesus Christ. Hundreds of death threats from our Dale Earnhardt article, even a couple of dozen for our article on Rick Springfield. But Jesus, our Lord and Savior? Not a whole lot. Here’s what we got:

Subject: I pity you

Its a good thing your opinion doesn’t count. Mel Gibson didn’t even play Jesus in the movie, Mr.(To be honest, Mel Gibson doesn’t make a believable Christ anyway. He barely looked like Mel Gibson let alone our Lord Savior. Dude needs to eat a sandwich, get back into the buffed shape we know so well from Bird On A Wire.) Did you even watch this movie. What kind of action do you expect to have back in those days? Hello? This is based on everything real, everything that happend in the last 12 days of Jesus’ life. And all you can do is make jokes. I find you repulsive. If your biggest concern is how hot Mary wasn’t, then your a sad person. Jesus the man who sacrificed his life for you, and this is how you repay him. God have mercy on you on judgement day.

Editor’s Note: Isn’t Judgment Day when the robots take over? Are you saying that Mel Gibson isn’t Jesus, but Arnold Schwarzenegger? Man, religion is confusing.

Subject: The Passion Review

Get a clue buddy! Obviously you don’t know anything about what you are talking about. This movie wasn’t made to be a blockbuster action packed fictional movie. This movie was to depict how the last 12 hours actually happened. There we no special effects of any miracles because Jesus didn’t perform any miracles in his last 12 hours of human life. Also, Jesus is God, so what does he have to prove? He doesn’ t need to look like Sylvester Stallone in Rambo. He can look like whatever he wants because his powers don’t come from his worldly body limitations. So from now on just please do us all a favor? When it comes to rating or reviewing things of biblical relavence please make sure that you know a little about what you are talking about because after reading this article it is obvious that you know absolutely nothing. Later.

Editor’s Note: But if Jesus is God, why wouldn’t he want to look like Sylvester Stallone in Rambo? Maybe you shouldn’t talk about things of Rambo relevance if it is obvious that you know absolutely nothing. As Jesus said, Hasta la vista, baby.


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