In a recent column on cinematical.com, Christopher Campbell ponders the films that need sequels. He had some good picks, but honestly, most movies don’t need to be revisited unless there’s a real need to continue a storyline. So we thought about the movies that haven’t told their whole story yet. Here’s our wish list, as well as our vision for the sequel.
WHY: One of the greatest kiddy adventure movies of all time, The Goonies also jumpstarted the pirate trend. With pirates being back on the big screen, the time is ripe for the return of One-Eyed Willie.
PLOT: In the first movie, the kids had to find treasure to save their town. Their town is now under attack again – Starbucks is going to tear down Mikey’s house unless Mikey, now 40, can raise a few million. He recruits the help of all his old friends and they find a trap door in Mikey’s basement and they go deep into an abandoned mine to find more pirate booty. And rediscover friendship in the process.
WHY: In the first movie, a 12-year-old turns into Tom Hanks and gets laid. Could it happen again?
PLOT: The young kid is now an adult – Tom Hanks! But Tom Hanks wishes he were older so he could get old person discounts and maybe meet the woman from the first movie, but she’s a lot older now. So Zoltar grants his wish, and Tom Hanks soon realizes that being in his 70s is not all it’s cracked up to be.
WHY: The first movie was innovative in repeating the same thing over and over again with hilarious results!
PLOT: Honestly, they could just release the first movie again, and it would be like the sequel is repeating the first one! So not only is the movie already guaranteed to be good, but this idea is pretty smart and clever and the fancy shmancy critics will love it.
WHY: We all wondered the same thing at the end of Annie Hall – will they ever get back together? And why would any New Yorker move to Los Angeles?
PLOT: Surviving a near overdose of cocaine and pills, Annie Hall realizes Los Angeles is a disgusting, horrible place filled with disgusting, horrible people. She returns to New York but doesn’t tell Woody Allen… yet fate keeps throwing them in each other’s paths. Kirsten Dunst takes over the role, since Diane Keaton is looking a bit ragged these days. Woody Allen plays himself again.
WHY: If there’s one thing Rain Man taught us, it’s that autism can be funny. That whole “K-Mart sucks” thing could be considered the funniest scene from the 80s. They could definitely expound upon the buddy road trip hijinx of the first movie.
PLOT: Tom Cruise’s character wants to rob some casinos a la Ocean’s 12. He enlists the help of the autistic guy to memorize secret codes and stuff. But first they have to drive all the way to Vegas, and a lot of wacky-yet-heartfelt stuff happens. Note: this movie could only work if that autistic actor is still alive. If not, they could do a prequel and get Johnny Knoxville or the guy who played Stifler.
WHY: I don’t think this movie did well, which is surprising given the stellar casting and funny storyline. A spiritual man gets his own tv show – funny stuff! It’s a role Eddie Murphy pulled off with an over-the-top hilarity and flair, and I’m sure he misses the character.
PLOT: The holy man becomes an even huger sensation, becomes a talk show host, and even puts out his own Foreman Grill. But his agent Jeff Goldblum wants him to start boxing instead. Oh yeah, this is also a sequel to The Great White Hype.
WHY: While not the best John Travolta movie (that award goes to Pulp Fiction, Broken Arrows, and Face Off), probably no movie discussed religious topics in such an interesting manner as Michael. I would love to watch more of this funny archangel and the lives he’s touched.
PLOT: This time we find Michael in Heaven, and he discovers the TRUTH!