As a celebration of managing to spend more time posting random tidbits of news than actually working, I would like to congratulate Mr. Adam Coozer on 1000 posts of his blog, The Coozer Files. The only thing I do believe that Mr. Coozer does more than post is shock the monkey, but that’s for another blog altogether.

Anyways, as a tribute to one of the most irreverent, ridiculous, and often hilarious blogs around, I would like to highlight my ten favourite Coozer posts of the last six months.

10. PSA: If you save your friend from exploding, you will be sued

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/12/psa-if-you-save-your-friend-from.html

Because helping is for sissies.

9. Cooties are real!

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/11/cooties-are-real-women-have-more-germs.html

I knew it all along! But I don’t know if everyone knows this, and I have a heads-up because I’m an elementary school teacher, but the vaccinations have changed; it’s not just circle-circle-dot-dot any more. There are some kinds of cures that the under-10-kabal only understand. We need to get to someone on the inside and distribute the cure quick, or we’re all doomed!

8. America’s 10 Most Confusing Traffic Signs

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/10/americas-top-10-most-confusing-traffic.html

Good thing in Canada we all know how to deal with a moose crossing sign.

7. England packed with embarrassing town/street names

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2009/01/england-packed-with-embarrassing-town.html

Hehe, East Breast.

6. Daily News steals Empire State Building

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/12/daily-news-steals-empire-state-building.html

Next up for me is a theft of Winnipeg. Yes, the entire city. It’s not like anyone would be upset if it went missing.

5. Adam Coozer’s 2009 Resolutions

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2009/01/adam-coozers-2009-resolutions.html

I believe every one of them, except number 6. Silly Adam, you just can’t resist those wild things.

4. Kinky

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/08/kinky.html

I like this particular post for two sequential reasons: the first, because it mentions me, and because it mentions me and is titled Kinky….kinky!

3. Monster truck promoter died on SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY!

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2009/01/monster-truck-promoter-died-on-saturday.html

Everything is more exciting when it is REPEATED REPEATED REPEATED (even if this is otherwise kinda sad).

2. World’s fattest man set to marry

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/10/worlds-fattest-man-set-to-marry.html

How hilarious would it be if it was to the world’s skinniest woman?

1. Coozer Prophesy #1

http://coozer.blogspot.com/2008/08/coozer-prophesy-1.html

Adam is seriously worried about the jellyfish takeover. I, for one, am not nearly as scared. But that doesn’t mean I like jellyfish at all. All those tentacles and that weird gooey skin… it would be like sharing a bed with Adam….