Stop Talking During the Damn Movie!

Articles | Mar 6th, 2005

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One of the things I hate the most is when people talk during a movie. Especially in a movie theatre and also one that I haven’t seen yet. I have done this but not in a movie theatre, mostly likely in class or at home. I usually do this because of 2 reasons. One I might have seen the movie a 100 times and I don’t need to be completely focus on it. Second, it might be a dumb movie which needs to be made fun of.

I guess I have that Mystery Science Theater 3000 syndrome where I make fun of the film constantly. I used to do this in high school and it made people laugh, ’til a point. I think it began quite annoying with people and I guess I started to do it on purpose. Another reason why I did this because I like to be a comedian and make people laugh at what I say so that’s another reason why I did this, and still do. One funny incident that I think is funny because it happened during my 2nd year in college. It was at Keystone College and it was photography 2 class and we had to watch an Ainsel Adams movie. Well my friend John and I started making comments everything that popped up on the tv screen. It got so bad that our teacher (who’s a cool laid back guy) get furiously pissed at us and told us to get the hell out. I smiled and walked out. I told John, “well at least we can go to lunch early.” I just think it’s pathetic and funny that I got kicked out of a college class! I still do this during movies but for only movies I’ve seen a million times.

When it comes to the theater, I’m very strict. I try not to say a word, if I do, it’s super quiet because I respect the surrounding audience members. I remember the stand up act of Eddie Murphy talking about black movie theaters, where African Americans talk to the screen. “YOU BETTER NOT GO IN THERE, THAT’S YO ASS I GUESS..HAHA” The third time I saw Gladiator recently, there was an African American guy behind us who was talking out loud. But the thing is, I thought he was funny with the things he was saying. Saying stuff like “Oh man, I want to be a gladiator!” “Open the door already will ya!” “oh shit, this guy is a bad ass.” I think that’s funny. I would be pissed a little if that was the first time seeing it though. Why do people tend to talk to the movie screen like no one else can hear them? EVERYONE HEARS YOU! And if you don’t care, then what the hell makes you so special that you feel the need to talk out loud and don’t give a shit!? That’s so fucking rude.

It’s not so much African American’s that tend to speak to the screen, but I think it’s more old people, house wives and regular white people, usually teenagers. When I saw Three To Tango, of course I got stuck in front of 4 housewives who fucking talked during the whole movie. Screaming, “WHO’S THAT?” “oh he’s cute,” “I don’t like him.” Who fucking cares what you think, talk to someone about it AFTER the damn movie. Go talk at the beauty salon like I do when I go there..hehe. not while the movie is happening. ugh this pisses me off. I get so mad when I hear people talk when I haven’t seen the movie and it’s makes me mad when I almost have to get in a fight just to have some quiet during the film.

For instance, when the Phantom Menace opened last year, When were at the first showing at 10:00am at Loews. We get out seats, we see all the other Star Wars nerds ( including us of course ) and when we saw the trailers, people laughed (like me watching the trailer for the Beach) and there was some boos. But when the movie starting to come on, the THX logo appeared and the star wars geeks (waiting before us on line a week before) were cheering their brains out just a little too much just for the THX logo. My friend John (who got kicked out of Photo 2 with me) screamed out to them “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!” then the star wars geeks (one who had his haircut like obi-wan..nuff said!) stood up and said “who said that?!” then we saw the Lucasfilm logo and the audience sat there in silence. See how stupid that was? I know of a couple of stories where someone was talking and the person beats the crap out of them. It’s just a movie folks, what is so hard to just sit there, eat your junk food and watch the god damn movie!!!? I think if you asked most people in a theater if they prefer quietness during a movie, they would agree that there shouldn’t be any unnecessary noise. Another thing that pisses me off is when parents bring their kids to an R rated movie or something that isn’t G or whatever, and the damn kids cry. Why do they bring them? leave them in the car!!! Of course you can’t do that..you need to open the windows a little bit..hehe. Also that goes for all your cell phones and beeper assholes! leave them off! No one is going to call you, you’re not that important!

People I know or sit next to me at the theaters just talk too much. Some people can tune people out and just watch the movie. I can’t. I hate when people repeat every single line that someone in the movie has said. how annoying can that be !!? Other people like to be Roger Ebert next to me and criticize the whole movie. Oh look at that, that part was edited bad. I notice stuff like that too but not to the point that I will mention it out loud. If anything, I’ll laugh if it’s that noticeable. Like in Mission Impossible 2, the cheesy action scenes on the motorcycle, I just had to laugh. It looks so unreal and silly. Laughter can be annoying as well. If someone who laughs at everything when it’s not even funny is quite annoying. Or if they got this loud obnoxious laugh or giggle. It’s just the little things that can ruin a good movie for me..It might not be the movie, it could be the audience attending the movie. So with all I rambled on with this article, please STOP TALKING DURING THE MOVIES, TURN OFF YOUR DAMN CELL PHONES AND BEEPERS. Sit back, relax, watch the movie and shut the hell up!

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