Recently, we here at ReadJunk have noticed a trend in internetting, observing that people are more interested in wasting their free time at popular networking site facebook.com, rather than using it wisely browsing the vast awesomeness that is readjunk.com. Here are ten comparisons that should by all means give you good reason never to leave this site again.
1. On Facebook, you can write on people’s personal walls. On ReadJunk, you can comment on every single article, review, and news brief. And you can even comment on the comments (it’ll go right underneath). Unlike Facebook, which tells you if someone posts on your wall, your post on a ReadJunk article may be lost for months before someone actually sees it and responds to it. But it’s forever cemented in our ReadJunkuniverse.
2. On Facebook, you can stalk your friends by checking out who posts on their walls, counting their friends, and looking at their pictures. On the ReadJunk forum, certain editors tend to divulge the contents of bowel movements and belly buttons. There’s no option for that on Facebook!
3. On Facebook, anyone can post pictures. On ReadJunk, the only one that can post pictures is few things are stupider than this. I’d like to see anyone on Facebook top that.
6. On Facebook, you can update your status to let your friends know exactly what you’re doing. On ReadJunk’s forum, you need to post 50 times to up your status from ‘total douche’ to ‘minor asshole’. But when you get there, you get a greater sense of accomplishment. You might even want to write it as your Facebook status: Daniel is no longer a total douche, he’s a minor asshole! Success!
7. On Facebook, your hot friends post even hotter pictures of their nights out with their hot friends. On ReadJunk, we fantasize about what it might be like to actually touch a girl. Someday…
8. On Facebook, you can add applications that let you rate movies, attack others with zombies, or let people draw pictures on your wall. On ReadJunk, any minor flaw in the html set-up of the site might cause major breakdowns, which in turn make site chief Bryan Kremkau go slightly crazy and complain for a while, which in turns means that I’m stuck solely reviewing emo CDs and writing articles like this, which still doesn’t get me paid. But it’s still better than a zombie fight…
9. On Facebook, you can describe your religious views however you want. At ReadJunk, we’ve been campaigning for the greatest religion ever, which centres around the uncompromising awesomeness of Jeff Goldblum. He is the one leader, the OTG (One True Goldblum), and he will take us to the promised land, where there will be Macs and Jurassic Park DVDs aplenty. You’re either with us or against us. If you’re with us, please change your religious view to Jeff Goldlbum. If you’re against us, you may need to be sacrificed in our holy war. Just a heads up….
10. On Facebook, you can join groups with bad-grammar-infested titles like ‘IF YOUR HAWT, U GOTTA JOIN THIS GROUP!’ or ‘lesbian admaration sosiety’. On ReadJunk, at least we know how to spell. But we’re all still members of both groups.
So you have the facts. Now you can make your choice.