I don’t mean to go on a rant here, oh wait, that’s Dennis Miller’s line. But seriously, another thing I hate about going to the movies these days is the damn commercials & trailers they show in front of the movies. I’m sure you hate them too.
Movie studios and theaters are trying to keep their businesses stay afloat, resulting in putting annoying and boring TV commercials in front of movie showings. The commercials seem to run about 15 minutes long and THEN you have to sit through another 15 minutes of bad movie previews. The idea of going to the movies suddenly makes me want to just wait for the DVD and stay the hell home. I’m sure the theaters get plenty of complaints about putting endless amounts of commercials in front of the movies but probably don’t give two shits about the viewer. All they want is money, money, money and not file for bankruptcy. The whole point of going to the theater was to escape normal TV viewing and just go and watch a movie on the big screen. Now you have to invest in 3 or 4 hours to do that because of the half hour previews and then 15 minutes of commercials. And depending on what showing you might go to, you might have to wait on line for tickets or wait to get into the theater. THEN wait for the dumb commercials to play.
Now you’re probably saying, well, why don’t you show up late? My idea of fun isn’t sitting in the first row and having back & neck problems by the middle of the movie. I like to get to the movie theater a little early. Get a good spot in the middle of theater, get that full surround sound experience. Which in Loews’ case, is a nice crackling sound with the movie picture burning up in the middle of the flick. You also gotta love that blurry picture; I always love to walk out of a theater cross-eyed. Loews has been around for 100 years, yet they can’t seem to fix a movie problem in a 100 minutes.
Back to the commercials, there is a decent commercial showing every once awhile though. Well not so much a commercial, but a service announcement for cell phones. I’m not sure if everyone gets to see this one but have you ever seen In-considerate Cell Phone Man commercials? Oh man, they are great! That’s the only saving grace to those bloody commercials before the movies! It’s pretty bad when I start to quote the in-considerate cell phone man among friends. “MARTY, YOU’RE A JOKER! ” “IT’S PRO-NOUNCED KA-RA-TE.” I get disappointed when they don’t show that. But I guess that makes me a hypocrite huh? Hey, it’s my article, I can write what I want damnit!
But one commercial/ad isn’t going to change my feeling on the rest of the commercials. Now companies are trying to sucker people into buying their products by getting big name stars like Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry to appear in their commercials. And what’s worse, they make it like it’s an actually movie! I can just picture the director mapping out all his shots, and storyboarding his pathetic commercial. Ugh. Dude, you’re a commercial director; it’s not art fuckface! Its bad enough I have to sit through regular commercials, but now I have to sit through 5-minute presentations of some shitty women’s perfume. There’s nothing worse than a commercial trying to be hip & cool, or even worse, trying to be artsy.
You know what I do when I’m watching TV and it’s time for commercials; I TURN THE FUCKING CHANNEL! I can’t stand them; I’d rather channel surf or find something better to do for 5 minutes like taking a leak. The only time I want to watch commercials is during the Super Bowl because they are entertaining and sometimes funny. I don’t care about football and rather watch commercials, that is how much I hate that sport!
I could talk about movie trailers as well. Generally I like trailers because I like to see what’s coming out, but lately, they seem to be getting worse and worse. I usually end up watching the trailers on the internet first. Trailers usually start off with the same music you hear in every trailer (i.e. Carmena Burana, Plunkett & MacLeane, E.S. Posthumous), the same voice-over dude using buzz words like “adventure,” “journey,” “magical” “exciting “etc. and they show you the entire movie in a minute and half. Most times I don’t feel like seeing a movie because I’ve seen the trailer so many times. Or it loses all the suspense since they showed everything or in comedies, they show all the funny parts. When will marketing people realize this isn’t the right way to make trailers? One movie trailer in particular that ruined the movie was Cast Away with Tom Hanks. At one point, you know he’s off the island. Well I guess I don’t need to see it now since they told you the whole fucking plot! Man that makes me angry sometimes.