Ann Beretta

Interviews | Jun 19th, 2006

You guys are a bunch of southern gents from Richmond, right? Why are people from the South so nice? Is it the soothing effect of NASCAR?
Rob: I think southern kids are so polite because we’re raised that way. We’re brought up to say “yes ma’am”, “no sir”, “please”, “thank you” – all that stuff. It’s just how we are.

So what is there to do in Richmond, besides sex with the livestock and rockin out to GWAR?
There’s tons to do in Richmond – hang out, drink beer, play songs.. Front porches are big in Richmond – everyone hangs out on front porches to watch girls, play guitar, drink beer, whatever. And I don’t think anyone in Richmond really listens to Gwar anymore – they’re not even allowed to play in Richmond as Gwar anymore due to obscenity laws.

You recently switched from Lookout! to Canada’s Union Label Group. Is there anything in your contract that forces you to listen to Rush?
So far so good. It’s still early in the game to say, but everyone at UNION is great, very supportive and into the new record which is great. Our big problem with Lookout! was that they just didn’t promote our last record – it just made us not even want to put out records anymore if we were going to work so hard on them and tour to support them just to be on a label that wouldn’t put the same effort into promoting the record. It just really sucked and we felt like we didn’t have anyone in our corner. We don’t feel that way anymore and that’s totally cool…and no, we don’t have to listen to rush – we just do.

Your brand of punk rock has a lot of ginger and snap. How did you go from being nice Richmond kids to such peppy whippersnappers?
I don’t know. I guess us nice guys just need to vent too.

I was listening to the song “Fire In The Hole” and suddenly it hit me – the song is about being sodomized, right?
You have to be kidding – that song is such a long story that we’re all so tired of telling… The complete story is available at [Note: couldn’t find the story-Ed.]

Have you ever been sued by a real Ann Beretta?
Never been sued by anyone named Ann Beretta, but we do meet girls all the time named Ann. We thought about turning her into a comic book but haven’t had the resources yet. Hopefully soon. A friend of ours has actually drawn a few versions of the character – kind of a Tank Girl but even more of a bad ass.

What’s your craziest experience with the Masons and/or Illuminati?
Never had any run-ins that I know of, but that’s the thing about those secret societies – you never really know if you’re having a run-in with them or not.

Which bands should call it quits?
I couldn’t possibly tell you that without instant bad karma

Should the South rise up again?
Dude, I rise in the south every day.

Plugizzle your shiznizzle.