Dead Chretiens

Interviews | Oct 30th, 1999

JO – Jeremy Othmer – vocals
MR – Mr. Raff – Guitar
RD – Ryan Dufoes – Drums
RC – Richie C. – Bass or guitar, I forget

You guys are Ontario punk legends, at least in your own minds. What other crazy ideas do you have in your imaginary world?
JO – Well Sleazy P. Martini used to be our manager but I fired him cause he did too much crack! Now I hired Crotch, which is why you probably never heard of us!

RD – You have obviously never experienced seeing DC in the flesh. When you see a DC show, you will see why we are legends… no, wait… icons…Yeah I like the sounds of that more.

RC – Weed is free, nobody works, and any idiot who can write or type can have a zine. Oh wait…that’s not imaginary.

MR- I have many crazy ideas.

How has your native band Rush influenced your music?
JO – Umm, Rush is a really good band! We don’t sound like them or listen to them all the time, but it’s OK radio tunes.. Rush has a good drummer I think!

MR – More than we’d like to admit, I think. Othmer sounds a lot like Geddy, and I’ve ripped off more than one of Alex’s solos. Plus, I love those robes. Way better than Boston.

RD – Once Shawn threw a beer bottle and hit Geddy Lee’s bass when they were playing for a benefit show like 8 years ago. You think that guy has an annoying voice when he sings? You should hear the fucker whine and complain.

RC – Not much.

What is your favorite psalm?
JO – Say what?

MR – The right one. I’m not a fan of the stranger.

RC – Psalm 4:20

RD – 3:16, because Stone Cold says so.

Doesn’t it excite you being so close to America? Have you ever contemplated hopping the border to enjoy our freedom?
JO – No it doesn’t really excite me! I never want to leave Canada! Everywhere else in the world is fucked! Including you guys. Why do you people like reality television so much, don’t you have your own lives? So no I will never jump the border, cause I might get shot in Detroit yo! You guys have no freedom, fuck that!

RC – I’d have to agree. There are some aspects of American life that appeal to me, but I’d still rather stay in Canada.

MR – No. Unless I was going to play some shows, but I should get a gun first right? Your country is more so fucked than we are, and we are pretty fucked too.

RD – Yeah, I want to go to the place where the most shootings take place in the world, where crime is rampant, where people are all brainwashed and support the world’s biggest terrorist.

You guys brag about being banned from many venues, but maybe they banned you cuz you suck and no one showed up. What would you like to say to those venues to get them to reconsider?
JO – Well that is a big part of the reason we are banned from all these venues. Cause we do suck ass, I don’t remember anybody saying we were good! I would tell those venue people that we sound like Strike Anywhere now, and scream! Maybe the kiddies will sing and dance..

RD – Some day you will see us in your shitty town, then you will experience the DC live show. You see for yourself why venues can’t handle us.

MR – I think we mainly got banned for fucking the manager’s wife. We are players, yo! Those 50 year olds love the young cock. Oh yea.

RC – Fuckin right we suck.

What’s the most punk rock thing you Canadians have ever done? Not washing your vegetables before eating them? Not holding the handrails on escalators? Sometimes being impolite?
JO – People say Canadians are so nice and polite, I say they never meet me before!

MR – I didn’t wash my hair for two days once! I’m so punk. Then I went to a riot and got beat. Was that punk enough?

RD – Well, once Shawn shit on stage. When he tried to throw it into the crowd, a pretty big piece flung at me and landed on my shoulder…not a lot of fun. Jeremy likes to expose himself to the crowd, sometimes having a bladder release…I just puke a lot.

RC – I’d say the most punk rock thing I’ve done is never purposely used the term “punk rock” when describing my actions. Is THAT “punk rock” enough for you?

When you look at punk bands in the US, and how awesome they are, does it ever discourage you?
JO – Well your bands are so good because you Americans are so fucking greedy, and are stealing all the oil! If Canada was stealing oil, then I would have a new guitar, and PA, and new computer too, so if any rich American wants to buy me a new computer send it to the address below!

MR – I think it’s ’cause none of them are original, so they all sound the same, and simple minds think alike. Also, I don’t even listen to music, or should I say new music, and when I do, it’s not usually an American band.

RD – Yeah, how every band sounds the same.

RC – Why would it discourage me? I’m so “punk rock” that it doesn’t bother me. There are enough good bands all around the world. And if you ask me, I’m more impressed by what Sweden puts out then most of the garbage that’s going around these days.

How can Canadians enjoy your sucky music if your live show is banned and they don’t have electricity or modern technology to play your records?
JO – That is why our new album WEATAX is only on tape! We don’t have that burning CD shit yet, up in Canada! Hopefully, I can’t get off this dail-up shit! Fuck it’s cold up here!

MR – I was on my sled yesterday man, and my friend, man, Pauly, said giv’er man, so I did, and then I busted my sled man. Ran in into one of those brick walls man. I cracked the windshield, so I got some o’ that bondo and fixed ‘er right up. Now I can giver all day today!

RD – We have generators.

RC – Canada is SO “punk rock” that we don’t need high-tech crap. Cassette tapes only.

Any shout-outs to your fans, i.e. your parents?
JO – I wanna say hi to the 3 suckers that bought our tape in the UK, thanks I got drunk in Quebec! If you want a shitty t-shit send me 10 bucks, and I will make you one, no really I will! Jeremy Othmer, PO Box 102, Cobalt, ON P0J 1C0, or [email protected] Thanks!

MR – Shout outs? Like self promotion? Oh, well, be sure to send me your love letters ladies! [email protected] What else, oh, check out ‘no market’ the best zine in Ottawa bitch. And my alter ego band, PleatherFace. And Robot Kill City. Is that good?

RD – To that little slut that gave us a round of head in Quebec…you little sluts make our world go round.

RC – I’d like to thank you for the most “punk rock” interview we’ve ever done.