Record Label: Victory
Genre: Emo
Band Link: link
Buy on Amazon.com link

Thieves & Villains! Yes, these guys are unscrupulous ruffians who will attack with the power of four defenseless kittens! They are as villainous as a sneezing newborn panda!

Actually, I’m being inaccurate. Kittens and pandas are cute. These guys I just want to dropkick in the face. This is emo at its most pandering, toothless, cheesy, and suck-ass. My niece could beat up this band, and she’s only 7-months old.

Thieves & Villains is as punk rock as rainbow sprinkles. They clearly didn’t have father figures in their lives to tell them to stop being such pussies and get real jobs. If I were their dad, I’d conscript them to the army. We’re in a time of war, people, and this band is singing about how their vaginas hurt! If you like this band, you are a stupid asshole.

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