Starring Aya Matsuura, Rika Ishikawa
Written By:
Directed By: Kenta Fukasaku
Studio: Magnolia
Buy on Amazon.com link

Based on a manga, Yo-Yo Girl Cop is a cheesy lolita actioner that could’ve been a really fun/silly bubblegum flick. Unfortunately, pacing kills most of it.

Before that, some background. K is an angry girl (the superhot pop idol Aya Matsuura) who is kidnapped and recruited/blackmailed by a Japanese police force to infiltrate a high school. The school is all a-buzz about this website called the Enola Gay, which is counting down to who-knows-what in three days while continually updated with sinister posts about a pending mysterious event. It’s obvious early on (and therefore not a spoiler) that the site is a hub for high school losers and outcasts, and the big event is some kind of mass suicide / school detonation.

K has to then go undercover in hot schoolgirl uniform and armed only with a killer yo-yo and bad attitude to get to the bottom of this mystery, which might also involve high school lesbianage. The reason why these supercops need a young, hot, inexperienced girl? “We adults can never understand the ways of youth!” or some such nonsense.

So far, so good. I have no problem with the concept. Hot Japanese schoolgirls doing battle with yo-yos over a lesbian-fueled Columbine-like revenge scenario? Awesome. The problem is that NOTHING HAPPENS. A good 90 minutes go by without any cool action or fun. I mean, most of the movie is satirical and ironic, making fun of the conventions of crime noir, along with some elements of 24 and lolicon anime, but the pacing is just way too slow with very little pay-off.

There’s some social commentary. Besides whatever nod to the US (Enola Gay of course being the plane that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima), the movie reflects the recent phenomenon of suicidal Japanese people meeting online and forming group suicide pacts. But cmon – it’s called Yo-Yo Girl Cop and you want to see some serious yo-yo-fightin’ action.

The first 10 minutes is kick-ass, and the last 10 minutes is hilarious, but the rest is filled with crime/mystery drama cliches and boring back stories, and while much of it is intentionally satirical, it’s not funny or interesting enough to follow. Just one major yo-yo battle, all the way at the end? Lame.

Features:

Audio:
English, Japanese

Video:

Subtitles:
English

Favorite Scenes: Some of the silly girl-cop banter; suddenly having to change into sexy gear for the penultimate battle; the yo-yo vs. katana sword fight.
Rating: –Select–
Running Time: 99 minutes
Extras Rating: -1
Overall Rating: