House of the Dead

Movie Reviews | Oct 11th, 2003

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Starring Jonathan Cherry, Clint Howard, Tyron Leitso, Ellie Cornell, Will Sanderson, Enuka Okuma
Written By:
Directed By: Uwe Boll

Yet another movie to prove video games are games and should not be made into a movie. Although, this one is probably the worst movie out of them all. What a royal piece of shit this was.

The plot: a group of 20 somethings want to go to a rave on an island, they just missed the boat so they pay Captain Kirk (yes that IS his name) big bucks to take him there, despite the rumors of evil on the island, the money makes him take them. When they arrive at the island, just about everyone is dead and all hell breaks loose. The remaining seeks refuge in…THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD.

Yup that’s it folks. Now, during the opening credits, heavy techno/crap music is blasting, while showing scenes from the video game. While seeing this, I knew the movie was going to be garbage.

Let me tell you what the characters names are: Greg and Cindy (BRADY BUNCH ahem), Captain Kirk (He once had Mr. Spock but all he was stuck with was Clint Howard, brother of Ron Howard),McGyver (only he can save the day with a simple rubberband and paperclip RIIIGHT), Casper (the idiot cop). Wow what a team huh?

So this was nothing but a pointless piece of shit. The action was trying to be Matrix-ish, the acting was absolutely horrid, with the exception of Jonathan Cherry (Final Destination 2, They) he was just about the only one with any acting talent, while everyone, especially Clint Howard were just frightening. I think what topped it all off was whenever a zombie was shot; a quick flash of the video game would appear. All I could say after leaving this movie was WOW.

It was a lot of fun to make fun of; I’ll give it that. My friends and I had great laughs. My advice is to wait until this one is in a discount theater or even on video to see it. It’s definitely a must see since it’s so horrible. Have fun…don’t pay more than $2 for this one folks.

Favorite Scenes: I liked the fact it was so bad it was absolutely hilarious to make fun of.
Rating: R
Running Time: 90 minutes
Overall Rating:


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