Record Label: Hollywood Records
Genre: Whiny Punk
Band Link: link
Buy on Amazon.com link

And the beat goes on. With their third studio release and first major label debut, Plain White T’s are exhibiting the same unidentifiable pop-punk whinings as the countless other bands with similar experience. They’re young and that could be used as a crutch to support their adolescent lyrics. Maybe I’m just getting a little bitter with this style of music…wait…forget that….there’s no maybes about it. Whoa….wait..yep..fingers tingling….stomach turning…head spinning…holy shit my pubic hair just fell out….it’s official! I’m totally sick of this mass produced barrage of uninspirational oration.

There is absolutely nothing original on this release. Nothing. Therefore, I have decided to change the pace of my review. Instead of droning on and about the pros (of which there are not many) and cons of Every Second Counts’ I will bedazzle you with a series of analogies. Ahem…test..test… This album is softer than a geriatrics ding-a-ling lying on a waterbed in a room full of sheep wool. Vocalist Tom Higgenson blitzes the entire length of the album with more whines and squeals than a hog whose ding-a-ling has been used to bait a ten-foot croc. Lyrically speaking, Every Second Counts’ presents the listener with more cheese than Rosie O’Donnell’s underarms…. and ding-a-ling. You get the picture. I don’t mean to be pretentious but there’s not much to enjoy about this record. To quote the band themselves: hate is a really strong word but I really, really don’t like you.’

Bottom Line: Same manufactured mess that is single-handedly destroying anything with ‘punk’ as the moniker.
Notable Tracks: uhhmmm….Friends Don’t Let Friends Dial Drunk? Maybe?
Overall Rating: