Burnthe8track – why do you have smoosh your name together? How do I know if you mean Burn The 8 Track or Burnt He 8 Track or Burn The Hat Rack? What’s with all these emo bands smooshing their name together? You think you’re too cool to use a space bar?
Derek (vocals): Actually the name is not smooshed together. Burnthe8track is in fact a Canadian word used to describe Band who destroys all lame interviewers. By the way, what the fuck is Emo?

While playing around with your name, I came up with Burn the Rat Pack. I think that’s the best one, because it conjures up Sammy Davis Jr. and Ol’ Blue Eyes writhing in a fiery hell. Will you change your name to it and give me royalties every time you use it?

You are going to have to talk to the label about that one. I am sure something can be worked out though. Perhaps we can use calipers to exchange your current eyeballs with two glass marbles, get you all liquored up on Jack Daniels and have you perform show tunes while tap dancing on hot coal.

What kind of 8 tracks did you own? Rush, right? You wouldn’t actually burn a Rush 8 track, would you?
Actually the United States of America claimed the rights to Rush while negotiating the North American Free Trade Agreement, We have stuck to burning such classics as April Wine, Loverboy and the Knack.

Let’s talk about your music. You guys seem pretty emotional. Why is that? From what I understand, you guys are from Canada, which is a wondrous wonderland of cheese and wine and dancing in the streets. Break it down for me.
Emotional indeed. We are really trying to secure our success through the “Recently dumped by High School sweetheart” market.

What was your worst gig?
Last year we played a showcase at North by North East in Toronto. Right before our set the P.A. released a 25 minute atomic blast which cleared the room. We did however play an intense 40 minute set in front of the sound man.

How do the other bands on Abacus treat you? Cuz they seem like they could blow you over with their farts.
Unfortunately Abacus has yet to schedule the 2004 Rock and Roll Fartathon, However our substitution of meat products with Chick Peas and Lentils has allowed us to create the world’s first Anal Pipe Bomb. I think our chances are good.

How has this interview inspired the direction of your band? Will you write a song about me? How would the lyrics go?
I think that I will change my lyrical stylings from emotional to verbal diarrhea.

You have been a doll. Anything you’d like to ask me?
Do you get paid for this?

Plug your shizizzle.
Actually we don’t have shizizzle in Canada, however, our first Abacus release, “The Ocean” hits the stores June 1st. We will be touring Canada during May and Early June, Eastern U.S including New York during the end of June and early July, and then heading to the West Coast U.S in August. Thanks a tonne for the interview.

Check out “The Ocean” on Abacus Recordings.