Bryan’s Year in Review 2017

Articles | By on Dec 29th, 2017

Year In Review 2017

Another year, another weird one. 2017 will forever be known for the year that everybody turned out to be a sexual predator or assaulter. What’s 2018 gonna bring us, the year all your favorite actors end up being serial killers? We (barely) survived our first year under President Dipshit. Hopefully 2018 will be the year Trump is removed from office. 2017 did bring us a lot of decent music, movies and some great TV shows so at least there’s that. ReadJunk.com also celebrated its 20th anniversary which is a big thing considering a lot of websites like ours have either closed down, been bought out or changed things around. I hosted my first show / party for the 20th anniversary, which was small and awesome at the same time. Let’s hope 2018 brings us a better year all around.

Music

after the party

Top 20 Favorite Albums of 2017:
1. The Menzingers – After The Party
2. The White Buffalo – Darkest Darks, Lightest Lights
3. Goldfinger – The Knife
4. Death of Guitar Pop – 69 Candy Street
5. Authority Zero – Broadcasting To The Nations
6. Liam Gallagher – As You Were
7. Midnight Mantics – Vibe City
8. Jesse Royal – Lily of Da Valley
9. Jordan Klassen – Big Intruder
10. Day Wave – The Days We Had
11. Less than Jake – Sound The Alarm
12. Sweet Little Machine – Monsters
13. Stereophonics – Scream Above The Sounds
14. Star Tropics – Lost World
15. The Rifles – The Unplugged Album: Recorded at Abbey Road Studios
16. The Shins – Heartworms
17. The Selecter – Frontline
18. Jesus and Mary Chain – Damage and Joy
19. The Travoltas – Until We Hit The Shore
20. Save Ferris – Checkered Past

Album I Should Have Included On Last Year’s Best-Of List:
Sonic Boom Six – The F- Bomb

I’m Looking Forward to Hearing New Music From:
The Levellers
The Push Stars
Carbon Leaf
Tom Waits
English Beat
Stick Figure

Hans Zimmer

Favorite Concerts of the 2017:

Hans Zimmer @ Radio City Music Hall, NYC
Game of Thrones @ Madison Square Garden, NYC
Rude Boy George / ReadJunk.com 20th Anniversary Party @ Otto’s Shrunken Head, NYC
Carbon Leaf @ Gramercy Theatre, NYC
The Push Stars @ Bowery Electric, NYC
Pilfers @ The Well, Brooklyn, NY
Stereophonics @ Irving Plaza, NYC
Jesus and Mary Chain @ Brooklyn Steel, Brooklyn, NY
The Specials @ Brooklyn Steel, Brooklyn, NY
Chain Wallet @ Mercury Lounge, NYC
Mighty Mighty Bosstones @ Starland Ballroom, Sayreville, NJ
The White Buffalo @ Brooklyn Bowl, Brooklyn, NY

Best Live Band of the Year:
Hans Zimmer

Best Soundtrack Of The Year:
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2

Top 20 Songs I listened to the most (according to Spotify):
1. Nick Cave – Breathless
2. Ramin Djawadi – Sweetwater (Westworld)
3. Neil Young – Harvest Moon
4. The Menzingers – Bad Catholics
5. Ramin Djawadi – Dr. Ford (Westworld)
6. Mat Kearney – On and On
7. Chain Wallet – Faded Fight
8. Glen Campbell – Southern Nights
9. Bad Suns – Cardiac Arrest
10. Elvin Bishop – Fooled Around and Fell In Love
11. Looking Glass – Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)
12. Stick Figure – In This Love
13. The Equals – Back Streets
14. Stereophonics – All In One Night
15. The Frightnrs – Make Up Your Mind
16. The Shins – So Now What
17. Ramin Djawadi – A Forest (Westworld)
18. Hans Zimmer, Jacob Shea, Jasha Klebe – Planet Earth II Suite
19. Stick Figure – Smiles on Face
20. Tal Bachman – She’s So High

Movies

Star Wars Episode 8: The Last Jedi

My Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2017 (that I’ve seen):
1. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
2. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2
3. Thor: Ragnarok
4. War For The Planet of the Apes
5. Spider-Man: Homecoming
6. Dunkirk
7. Logan
8. Baby Driver
9. Wonder Woman
10. John Wick: Chapter 2

Honorable Mentions:
The Big Sick
Wind River
Get Out

Movies I Wanted To See But Haven’t Yet:

The Post
It
Blade Runner 2049
Coco

Top 5 Favorite Film/TV Scores:

1. John Williams – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
2. Hans Zimmer – Dunkirk
3. Ramin Djawadi – Game of Thrones – Season 7
4. Jacob Shea, Jasha Klebe, Hans Zimmer – Planet Earth II
5. Tyler Bates – Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2

Movie I Liked But Could Have Been A lot Better:
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

I Liked It But Not One Of My Favorites This Year:
The Belko Experiment
The Hitman’s Bodyguard

I liked Baby Driver But…
Afterwards, I couldn’t help but feel like it was a Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off. Guy is obsessed with music, walks around with a vintage cd player, has a dark mysterious past and turns out it’s because of his dead Mother. I was waiting for Kurt Russell to show up and say he was a living planet but that he can drive cars really fast.

Also about Baby Driver:
I feel like I can’t even watch it now….Thanks Kevin Spacey!

Movies I Couldn’t Watch More Than 15 minutes Of:
Baywatch (even though I did manage to struggle through it)

The Worst Movies of the Year (that I’ve seen):

Baywatch
The Mummy
Snatched

Bad Ass Scenes:
No Man’s Land – Wonder Woman
Rey and Kylo Fighting in Snoke’s Throne Room – Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Super Fun Scene in a Movie:
Snoke Throne Room – Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Stupidest Moment in a Movie:
Princess Leia….in SPACCCCEEEEE! – Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Best Villain in a movie:
The Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum) – Thor: Ragnarok

Movies That Looked Bad Just Based On the Movie Trailer:
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Chips
Pitch Perfect 3
Geostorm
Fifty Shades Darker
Power Rangers
Transformers: The Last Knight
The Great Wall

Movie Trailers Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Have Music Of:
“Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina & The Waves
“Spirit in the Sky” – Norman Greenbaum
“Immigrant Song” – Led Zeppelin
“Baba O’Riley” – The Who

My Top 10 Favorite Quotes From The Year:
1. “He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy” – Yondu (Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2)
2. “Every word in that sentence was wrong.” – Luke Skywalker (Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
3. “I’m Mary Poppins, Y’all!” – Yondu (Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2)
4. “See you around, Kid” – Luke Skywalker (Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
5. “Oh I was just um… Looking at… Porn.” – Ned Leeds (Spider-Man: Homecoming)
6. “I have famously huge turds.” – Drax (Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2)
7. “Goodbye, New Doug!” Korg – Thor: Ragnarok
8. “What’s my stance on 9/11? Oh um, anti. It was a tragedy, I mean we lost 19 of our best guys.” – Kumail (The Big Sick)
9. I’m TS-motherfuckin’-A. We handle shit. That’s what we do. Consider this situation fuckin’ handled. – Rod (Get Out)
10. “Fuck off, Logan.” – Charles Xavier (Logan)

Scene Stealers in 2017: 

Elton John – Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Korg – Thor: Ragnarok

2017 Movie Titles That Could Be Mistaken For Porn:
The Dark Tower
Girls Trip
Atomic Blonde
It Comes At Night
A Bad Moms Christmas
F*&% the Prom
The Babysitter
xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Snatched
Naked
Fifty Shades Darker

Most Anticipated Movies of 2018:
The Avengers: Infinity War
Deadpool 2
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Black Panther
Han Solo: A Star Wars Story
Ready Player One
The Incredibles 2
Super Troopers 2
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

TV

Game Of Thrones Season 7 Trailer 2

Favorite TV Series of the Year:

1. Game of Thrones

2. Stranger Things
3. Curb Your Enthusiasm
4. Veep
5. Mindhunter
6. Life in Pieces
7. Better Call Saul
8. Mr Robot
9. Peaky Blinders
10. The Trip To Spain (prefer series over movie)
11. Billions
12. Wrecked
13. Catastrophe
14. Marvel’s The Punisher
15. Ballers
16. Family Guy
17. Glow
18. The Walking Dead
19. Marvel’s Agents of Shield
20. Marvel’s the Defenders

Favorite mini-series:
The White Princess
Manhunt: Unabomber

Best Mockumentary:
American Vandal

Show That Got Better BUT Now They Are Going To Change It Up:
Fear The Walking Dead

Favorite Political Shows of The Year:

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Why Does This Exist?
Drop The Mic

Shows That Are Slipping:
The Walking Dead
Homeland

Disappointing Series of the Year:
Iron Fist
The Defenders

Best TV Show Intro of the Year:

Game of Thrones (still)

Show I knew was going to suck from the beginning:
Marvel’s Inhumans

Saddest Moment on TV:
Viserion (Game of Thrones)

Funniest Moment on TV:
larry
Larry David pushing the spritz girl out of the way in the store

Awesome Moment on TV:
Loot train scene – Game of Thrones

Favorite Late Night Talk Series:

The Chris Gethard Show
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Graham Norton Show

Best TV Show in The UK That I Wish Aired In The US:
Travel Man with Richard Ayoade

Random Stuff

Favorite Podcasts of the Year:
Nerdist
WTF with Marc Maron

Favorite Web Video Series:
Schmoes Knows
Collider
The Screen Junkies show
Bad Lip Reading

Favorite Stand-Up Specials of the Year:

Dave Chappelle

Best Mobile Apps:

Vudu
Netflix
HBO Go


Books I Read This Year:
John Cleese – So, Anyway… (didn’t finish it yet because it’s been boring)

I’m Addicted To:
Swagbucks and buying gift cards for movies on Vudu

Terrible People of 2017:
Trump
Donald Trump
Charlotteville tiki torching Nazi dickwads
Ajit Pai
Paul Manafort
Jared Kushner
Ivanka
Anyone named Trump
Michael Flynn
Roy Moore
Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, etc. etc. etc. etc.
Chris Christie
Kellyanne Conway
Paul Ryan
Martin Shkreli
Milo Yiannopoulos
Stephen Miller
Mitch McConnell
Steve Bannon
Bill O’Reilly
Ted Cruz
Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Sean Spicer
Donald Trump, Jr.
Sean Hannity
Alex Jones
Betsy Devos

Phrases/Words That Need To Go Away in 2018:

Fake News
Same
…AF
THIS!
THIS. SO MUCH THIS!
Just saying
Make America Great Again / MAGA
but those [word] tho
I can’t
I can’t even
I can’t even deal
Totes
So this happened…
Sorry not sorry
Keep calm and….
Cray cray

Things I Learned in 2017:
• Every celebrity was guilty of sexual harassment
• Trump could take a shit in the middle of the oval office and wipe his ass with the American Flag, and Republicans would still support him.
• Republicans would rather support a pedophile in office over a Democrat.
• (Adult) Star Wars fans will never be happy
• When you host a party, you’re probably going to buy too many pizzas
• When you tell people to fuck off for voting for someone, you’re bound to piss someone off
• Other people’s kids suck
• People still think the earth is flat
• People are really fucking dumb (see above)
• Paul Ryan still doesn’t have a backbone and is still a massive douche
• After all these years, I still really hate the FCC
• Trump animatronic at Disney looks like Hillary Clinton with Trump hair
• I need to hire an intern to help me fight shirt thieves
• Adam Driver and Keanu Reeves are twins
• If I tweet daily creepy staged photos saying my apartment is haunted, I will become a viral sensation
• Every time a commercial for Drop The Mic comes on, I feel like throwing my remote at the TV
• When there’s an election in Jersey City, my phone will ring at least 8 times a day with robocalls
• If I stay off social media for the most part and mute keywords and hashtags, I won’t be spoiled by assholes…
• …but glad I see movies opening weekend because news sites just love to put spoilerish shit in their headlines
Thanos looks really weird without a hat on
• NY Comic Con is a lot fun but really exhausting
Saruman’s palantir really exist
• I really, really, really, really hate jury duty
• If you have a kid, expect to clean up puke in the car at least twice a week
• Never go up close to the waves on the beach during high tide
• If you have just one cup of ice cream, it will be your downfall in the long run
• If your kid throws cardboard at your face, it will hurt really bad
• Shooting concerts from just the sides of the photo pit is a pain in the ass
• Marilyn Manson and Josh Homme are fucking pricks to photographers
• It’s really fun pissing off Rush fans
• Idiot people can get kicked out of a Game of Thrones concert
• The rare time I give my son a bath, he takes a dump in it
• Changing a crappy diaper when the power goes out – never fun.
• Punching a nazi ALWAYS makes things better!

Predictions for 2018:
• Actors you love will turn out to be serial killers. Tom Hanks will be accused of killing people with his vintage typewriters.
• The ghost of Andrew Jackson will join Trump’s cabinet
• The iPhone will remove the screens to be innovative
• Airlines will start charging people if they need to use the bathroom. More money if you got to go #2
• In order to enter Manhattan, you must show up with your taxes that you make over a million dollars
• Paul Ryan will retire and become a fluffer
• Animatronic Trump will be accused of sexual harassment
• Trump will cause WWIII after having bad tacos and shit tweeting at 3am
• Ann Coulter will come out and confirm she is really the Crypt Keeper
• Mitch McConnell will be accused of sexual harassment…from a goat
• Instead of having to clean up puke in the car every week, I’ll be upgraded to cleaning up shit in the car instead
• Everything on Netflix will be removed except for seasons of Fuller House
• Dwayne Johnson will star in every single movie next year
• Jimmy Fallon will eliminate the talking part of his “talk show” and just play stupid games
• James Corden will stop hosting the Late Late show and work for Uber to drive celebrities to real talk shows
• Disney will continue to buy up studios and purchase Paramount, Sony, and Universal and will re-branded to be called Monopoly Studios

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