Counterpoint: No, THIS is what Jeff Goldblum is Talking About

Articles | By on Jan 1st, 2004

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Nervous. Jittery. Incoherent. These words can only describe one thing: Jeff Goldblum. An actor of extraordinary talents. A comedic genius without peer. A man who can look a dinosaur straight in the eye and only quip a one-liner. Jeff Goldblum, a man of action. A man of good-looks. A man of heroics. A man we Jews can look up to. But… a man of words? My good lord, no.

What is Jeff Goldblum talking about? That is what I ask you. His stuttering, bumbling, neurotic antics are evident in everything from The Fly to The Great White Hype to the brilliant Earth Girls Are Easy and Transylvania 6-500. What’s he trying to get at in Annie Hall and Silverado? Why the black apparel in Jurassic? And what was up with The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai: Across the 8th Dimension???

But most importantly, what the hell is he talking about during those Apple computer spots? I believe I know. Jeff Goldblum is talking about the necessity of your average lay man to get hooked up to the net. In classic Jeff Goldblum roundabout way, he’s using the metaphor of a party to bring home the points of alienation, being on the outside looking in. “It’s like… hi, can I join the party? What? I umm need like email? Like what’s umm an email? I just want some cake… like what is this web stuff… I really want to come inside… umm..” he says while jerking his arms around like a puppet on a string. We immediately sympathize with Jeff; he’s obviously trying to communicate with us. And like I said, I’ve broken the code.

So now we know what those Apple spots are about: Getting online savvy. But can anyone ever truly know what Jeff Goldblum is talking about at any given day? No, because genius my friends, yes pure genius, can never be understood. Well, neither is complete and utter blithering idiocy, but let’s give the guy the benefit of the doubt.