Um, who the hell are you?
Dan: I am a fat kid that likes ska so I decided to form a ska band with Kyle one day in 2001 and then we got other people to join. No one else is fat. Only me. That’s right; the band is named after me. There is also CR and Pat but they were too busy trying to find the ultimate farting position to fill this out.
Pick: I am the new kid. I’m actually JUST a friend, but they humor me by putting me in their band.
Kyle: Umm, who are you? I’m not telling you who I am unless you tell me who you are first. As far as I know you could be a stranger.
Greg: I’m Greg.
Since you guys are all fat, how does it feel to not see your cocks anymore?
Dan Hmm… this kind of contradicts the first question. Well, for everyone but me that is cos I really am fat. How does it feel? It’s kinda kinky cos when I get ass once in a while I see the tip and I’m like, oh there you are buddy, how ya doin’? Then it disappears again.
Pick: Um, well I like to eat… so it doesn’t really matter about seeing my dick, I couldn’t see it when I was skinny anyways… so, it’s good enough for me just to eat and enjoy-and have an excuse for not seeing my dick…
Kyle: Cocks, what are you talking about? I have a perfectly good cock at home in the chicken coop. I see him all the time, he gets around with a lot of chicks too. They’re always laying eggs.
Greg: I don’t know if you’ve heard our song called “Happenis in a jar.” If you have…you’ll know why this question doesn’t apply to me…
Besides Bubba’s Fat Friend, what other bands suck at music?
Dan: Some bands that suck really bad are Monty’s Fan Club, The Skeptics, and Dirty Larry. Man, they all suck so much. We like to play with them cos we all suck and that makes people try and figure out who the suckiest band at the show is.
Pick: I think that Monty’s Fan Club sucks a whole lot, in a good way… Now in a bad way… Creed?
Kyle: Hey we don’t suck, smell maybe, but definitely not suck.
Greg: There are so many shitty bands that just totally suck. I just can’t list them all. The Rx Bandits suck. Phish sucks. Thursday sucks. We suck the most though…Were going for the record of most amount of suck in one band. I think we have a chance!
Which one of these bands influenced more? Menudo, Jessie and the Rippers or the Village People?
Dan: Personally, I was most influenced by Michael Jackson and Boy George. Man, when they collaborated on that song it was mind blowing. I think it was them, I don’t know I was too busy eating to take notice.
Pick: I would have to say Gerardo influenced my life in such a way that I truly believe I am “Rico Suave.”
Kyle: Umm Village People duh, what have you never heard us or something.
Greg: JESSIE AND THE RIPPERS KICKED MORE ASS THAN I COULD EVER EVEN PICTURE! I wish Uncle Jessie was my Uncle Jessie.
Do you cry when no one dances at your shows?
Dan: I cry more when Kyle sings.
Pick: I cry when I dance…
Kyle: I only cry when no one does the funky chicken loving dance. That’s my favorite dance. Woo-hoo! Do the chicken funky yeah the funky chicken lovin’.
Greg: I cried once at a show when some guy was dancing and it hurt me cause it sucked so bad. Then I realized that the guy dancing was Pick. I cried again.
Do you think you guys sound more like a brick scraping against the pavement or a woman in labor?
Dan: I’d say more of a combination of both. Lot’s of screams in again and a lot of shitty arrangements of notes that we call music.
Pick: I would definitely say scraping a woman in labor against the pavement-without a doubt.
Kyle: Ooohh, ohhh definitely a woman in labor. Greg our singer is the woman breathing heavily and yelling. I’m (drummer) playing the banging of the woman’s hands and feet against the table. Dan’s the bass of the woman’s heart beat getting progressively faster, the horns and the guitars build up the musical intensity to an explosion and a beautiful new… thing.
Greg: Did anyone else notice that there were two question #4s? And what the hell happened to question number 6? Oh well…I would say our music sounds like a woman trying to give birth to a large piece of pavement. The resemblance is uncanny.
(Editors’ Note: I’m pretty sure I gave them the interview questions in the right order)
Plug your shit.
Check out our mp3s at: http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/451/bubbas_fat_friend1.html and our website: www.bubbasfatfriend.cjb.net. We’ve got some newly recorded songs that will be floating around the internet somewhere. Most likely mp3.com.