Kinion “S/T”

Album Reviews | Sep 1st, 2007

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Record Label: New York Fresh
Genre: College Rock/Funk
Band Link: link
Buy on link

Fuckin’ press releases. This one got me excited: ” They blend old school hip hop, roots reggae, psychedelic rock, and Latin music.” It them compares them to Manu Chao.

Only problem? They’re a bad mix of spacey 60s rock, Red Hot Chili Peppers-style white funk-rock, and Rage Against the Machine-style white rap-rock. Honestly, I have no idea about the ethnicity of the band, but their style truly is that horribly corny 90s college radio whiteboy funk/rap, with lyrics just as dopily appropriate for that awful sound: “Who rocks the party? We rock the party!” “Cuz we can’t stop! And we won’t stop!” “Cuz we rock n’ roll! With so much soul! We’ll be rockin til we’re 80 years old!” Crap like that.

Even if my musical preferences weren’t narrowly focused on, well, good music, Kinion would still suck. They are so inept at rap, funk and reggae that it’s laughable. The rapping is that slow, self-conscious style with pitiable rhymes, and their attempts at reggae make them sound like Count Chocula. They seem as awkward at urban styles as Flight of the Conchords, only they’re not a comedy act.

Their attempt at 60s psychedelia is a tiny bit closer to the mark, but still vomit-inducing. The guitars are annoyingly wah-wah and the vox are often echo-fied, tapping into a Jimi Hendrix/stoner thing and futhering their presumed goal to be the music of choice for idiot fratboy date rapists everywhere.

But, honestly, they are so awful, I’d imagine even beefy college kids with backwards caps and a penchant for Hoobastank would chortle at this. I doubt even the borderline retarded with the worst possible taste in music, like Korn or Insane Clown Posse fans, would find Kinion redeemable.

Kinion are so bad, I envy the deaf.

Bottom Line: A pile of dogshit called – they want their stench back.
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