Starring Jacob Vargas, Daniella Alonso, Jessica Stroup, Flex Alexander, Michael McMillian
Written By: Wes Craven, Jonathan Craven
Directed By: Martin Weisz
Studio: 20th Century Fox
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I’ve never seen any of the previous Hills Have Eyes movies, although I’m kind of interested in seeing Wes Craven’s original. But having watched this sequel, I have no desire to watch its remake predecessor. This was the most pointless, generic, by-the-numbers horror movie I’ve seen in a looooong time.

There’s a military training scene and a couple scenes where a friendly mutant shows up out of nowhere, helps the surviving heroes a little bit, then vanishes again. Aside from those elements, the entire plot was literally described in one line of dialogue: “They’re picking us off one by one!” And the rest of the dialogue is just as stellar. It’s like the ridiculous cheesy dialogue in the Starship Troopers movie, only without the, you know, satirical bent.

So what happens in this movie? Military unit goes to rocky desert area. Military people wander around rocky desert area. Murderous mutant pops out of tiny hole in rocky area and kills a military person. Repeat ad nauseum. Then there’s a lame ending that is either supposed to be ambiguous, or possibly a setup for another sequel, or maybe both, but just comes off as stupid. Oh yeah, and the movie begins with one of the more obnoxious trends in modern horror movies: a disgusting birth scene (see Dawn of the Dead or that Texas Chainsaw prequel for some other examples)

This movie is populated by stereotypes. I remember when Transformers came out, and many reviewers complained about the stereotype soldiers but at least they were positive stereotypes. Here we have annoying stereotypes like Angry Guy, Smartass Guy, Whiny Guy, Tough Girl, Wimpy Guy, Concerned Mommy… eh, it goes on and on. Anyway, they exist solely as gruesome-death fodder. And it starts off right away, too. Before the ten minute mark, we see the Horrible Grisly Deaths of Woman Held Captive, Dorky Tech Guy, Nerdy Scientist, and Foul Mouthed Colonel.

Hills Have Eyes 2 was, generally speaking, pointless, ridiculous, and unpleasant, not to mention a cliche rehash of random generic horror conventions. In other words, there’s way better out there, so don’t waste your money.

Features:
– Deleted Scenes
– Alternate Ending
– Making Of Featurettes
– Birth of a Graphic Novel Featurette

Audio:
ENGLISH: Dolby Digital 5.1
SPANISH: Dolby Digital 2.0
FRENCH: Dolby Digital 2.0

Video:
Widescreen 2.35:1 Color (Note: maybe just a flaw in the review copy, but a few scenes were extremely pixilated)

Subtitles:
English, Spanish

Favorite Scenes: When the damn thing ended
Rating: NR
Running Time: 90 minutes
Extras Rating:
Overall Rating: