Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Movie Reviews | May 16th, 2002

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Starring Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Yoda, Anthony Daniels, Pernilla August, Jimmy Smits, Temuera Morrison, Daniel Logan, Ahmed Best
Written By: George Lucas, Jonathan Hales
Directed By: George Lucas

Well, another Star Wars flick is upon us and I should get to the point, I like this film a lot but it’s still flawed. I mean, isn’t every Star Wars movie flawed when you think about it.

That’s what makes it so great is the cheesy stuff and the awesome action scenes. We’re not seeing SW to see Oscar worthy performances. People see it for the action, the lightsabers, the villians, jedi, and in AOTC, there was plenty! The story takes place ten years from now and the movie opens up with an assassination attempt on Padme, who’s now a Senator. Palpatine sends Obi Wan and Anakin to protect her. While that is going, There is a separatist movement brewing in the republic There aren’t enough Jedi to protect the republic and they need an army. Padme is supposed to vote on this topic but another attempt on her life sidetracks the voting. Anakin and Padme go into hiding on Naboo, and while this is going on; Obi-wan does some investigating on the assassination attempt and ends up finding out more than he bargained for. Okay, with that out of the way. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this immediately after Episode 1.

I really liked Episode 1 but it had it’s problems, just like this one but it was still fun to watch. The trailers actually disappointed me because I thought it looked crappy and looked like a cartoon instead of live action. Another stupid thing I did was look at EVERYTHING on the net so I pretty much knew all the twists and story by the time I saw this flick. Hopefully I won’t do that with Episode 3 since it’s the last one and I want to be some what surprised. The movie had some great moments. I loved the chase in the beginning of the film. It definitely balanced out all the talking in the first half of the film. Seeing Obi Wan fly all over the place on the Assassin droid was fun to see, and seeing them in the dance club was pretty cool too. Reminded me of the first Star Wars when they were in Mos Eisley. The fight on Kamino with Obi Wan and Jango Fett was great to see even though I saw pretty much the whole thing on TV since they like to show fucking everything. Pricks! There was one scene I got goosebumps for and that was when Anakin is on Tattooine, riding this bike across the desert, with “Duel Of the Fates” music playing. Great scene. You could see his anger in his eyes. But what made the movie was the ending. What Star Wars movie didn’t have a great ending, really. The battle was in a Gladiator like arena.

I thought I was going to see Russell Crowe pop out, say OI! and then sing “Making Movies, Making Songs, Fighting Around the World.” Like that South Park reference right? But the classic moment of the film was when Yoda dropped his cane and kicked some mother fuckin’ ass! Trust me on this one, you’ll be laughing your ass off and cheering at the same time. Some of the actors gave great performances. Ewan McGregor was great and is getting more and more like Sir Alec Guiness now. He had more to do in this movie than Phantom Menace. He was witty, showed maturity and has good chemistry with Anakin. Hayden Christensen was a good Anakin. He was bitchy, whiny, hot headed and that’s what I expected from a teenager Darth Vader. Though he was good in one area, I didn’t like the chemistry between him and Natalie Portman. They are both great actors but I think it was more the extremely bad lines they were saying that made them look bad. The love lines they were speaking were so cliché and it made me want to get a barf bag out. I think the love story part of the film even made my Mom not like it. Samuel L. “badest mo fo in the galaxy” Jackson did a good job as Mace Windu. I still can’t get the Shaft theme out of my head when he’s says “This Party’s Over.” “Who is the man, that’s 2nd in command, Mace!” Now we come to Jar Jar “Hope you die in Episode 3” Binks. He was on screen for maybe 5 minutes of the movie and I rolled my eyes the whole time he was on screen. I didn’t find him that annoying in Episode 1 but wished his screen time was cut down.

I found him more annoying here than ep1. Temura Morrison and Daniel Logan did the job well and Logan was actually a good child actor. Though probably if he was on screen more I would have started to hate him. Christopher Lee is incredible. The man has played evil men his whole life and he’s been in 2 of the biggest movies this year, Lord of the Rings (Saruman) and now this (Count Dooku). He has that presence about him that just makes him look evil. You don’t see him too much until the 2nd half of the film and surprisely, you didn’t see Darth Sidious until the very end of the film. The CGI has gotten so much better since Episode 1 but I still think it needs work. When humans ride things that are CGI animals, it doesn’t look good. The landscapes were beautiful. Coruscant, Kamino, Tattooine, and Geonisis all were done great. I thought I was going to have a problem with the CGI Yoda in the film but I didn’t. I didn’t like the way he looked and sounded in the Phantom Menace. He sounded like Grover too much in ep1. But this time he looks like how he did in Empire and talks like he did in Empire. Maybe Frank Oz worked more on his voice since he didn’t have to do anything.

The sound in the film is still top notch and you hear some great sounded missiles, battles, and spaceships in the film. I thought John Williams’ score could have been better in some areas but the “Across the Stars” theme is just beautiful. Great love song. I think the movie needed more Duel Of The Fates. I think it would have added to some of the fight scenes. There’s always episode 3 for that. This film was great but it still has many problems. The dialogue wasn’t the greatest, the lines sometimes were just god awful. The love story slowed the film down a lot and I can see many youngsters falling asleep at that point. One scene when Anakin and Padme are in the meadow on Naboo; she’s on this hill and I just busted out singing “The Hills are alive with the Sound Of The Music…” haha. And then they start rolling around in the grass and everyone in the theater was probably rolling their eyes.

Some people said that the jokes were bad but I didn’t mind them. I liked the extra humor that was added back into the film, and there wasn’t any poo poo or stepping in crap jokes this time around. I always didn’t like how some scenes looked great with the CGI, and then some didn’t. For example, whenever Obi Wan was in a room, you could tell that this was done with bluescreens. Maybe the lighting was off and made it looked worse than it was. It has that halo around the person’s body. That’s a problem in all films that use CGI though. They need to fix that. NOW!

Yeah, this review is long and I could go on and on but I won’t. This film is better than Episode 1, it’s fun to watch and has great action scenes. It felt like this movie was more like the Original Trilogy. Episode 1 felt too childish but it had it’s moments. This one a lot of moments that will be considered classic but I’ll have to see this a few more times to decide which SW film I like better. Oh, with everyone comparing Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings. They are 2 completely different films and it’s hard to compare. Stop putting the two against each other. Enjoy them both. Even Though I could say I wasn’t jumping off the walls after seeing this one like I was for LOTR. Anyway, this is fun Star Wars movie and go out with your buddies, cheer, boo, and laugh. Have a good time, this is what it’s all about. I have one last thing to say and that Yoda is the man! Damn Skippy.

Favorite Scenes: There was quite a few. The Yoda scene with Dooku was the highlight of the movie. The chase scene with Obi wan and Anakin after Zam the bounty hunter. Kamino fight with Obi Wan and Jango Fett, and of course, the battle at the end.
Running Time: 142 mins
Overall Rating:


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