Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Movie Reviews | Oct 17th, 2003

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Starring Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, R. Lee Ermey, John Laroquette
Written By: Scott Kosar
Directed By: Marcus Nispel

Usually when classic horror movies are remade, they’re remade into a heaping pile of crap, so I was skeptical about seeing this one.

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favorite horror movies, and in my opinion one of the scariest movies of all time. This remake was done so fantastically, I can’t decide which I like better. Based on actual events, this is the story of a boy who was constantly made fun of because of his appearance and turned into a psychotic serial killer…. that boys name was Leatherface.

The movie starts off just like the original, with John Laroquette coming back to give some background about what this movie was based on. We also see police investigation footage and newspaper articles of the murders which was an wonderful add in to it. From seeing the opening scene, I knew this was going to be good. The story follows 5 friends on their way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in Texas on August 20, 1973, when they make a pit stop to pick up a lost looking girl off the side of the road. She’s shaken up, badly hurt and starts to freak out once she sees where the friends are headed, in one of the most cleverly done scenes, she puts a gun in her mouth and shoots herself, you have to see it to believe how awesome it is.

I don’t know what they’re staring out but i’m staring at Jessica Biel’s tits. “Speaking of no one’s looking..” They kept to the original with only a few minor changes to throw you off guard. Just when you think you know what’s going to happen, something else does. I jumped quite a few times, since I was caught off guard way too much. I did notice the things they added just made it cooler.

The terror starts up again when Erin (Biel from TV’s 7th Heaven) and her boyfriend Kemper (Balfour from 24, Six Feet Under) are looking for help after the suicide that happened in their van. They come across a house in the middle of nowhere, and stupidly decide to check it out. Bad move kids. From there it’s nothing but pure terror.

R. Lee Ermey plays Hoyt, the sheriff of this small, deranged town, and he’s definitely the comic relief of the film by being a crabby, disgusting fellow. Fans of the original won’t be disappointed. This movie kept up with it and did even more. I was very happily surprised to see scenes of Leatherface making his “masks” and cutting up his victims. There was a lot more gore in this one, and if you’re expecting that wonderful meat hook killing, it’s here! And boy was I excited.

Leatherface looks a hell of a lot better in this one and is a lot crazier. They show more of the family, which is pretty cool.

The acting was fantastic, near the end there was one part that was so emotional and so well done, it was actually believable. Very rare for a horror flick. After seeing this I now give Jessica Biel more respect, when I first heard she was in it I was annoyed, but, applauds go out to her for this one. This movie is a MUST SEE for all horror fans. It was super fantastic, lots of scares, and lots of gore. Almost perfection.

Bottom Line:
Favorite Scenes: Every time leatherface was out and about, the hitchhiker killing herself
Running Time: 0 minutes
Overall Rating:


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