The Scorpion King

Movie Reviews | Apr 19th, 2002

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Starring The Rock, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Grant Heslov, Ralph Moeller, Steven Brand, Bernard Hill and a bunch of fake titty women
Written By: Stephen Sommers, William Osborne, David Hayter
Directed By: Chuck Russell

I’m surprised I went to see this movie. The trailers looked god awful and I’m not a wrestling fan so I don’t know why I decided to see this. Probably because I heard from my friends that it was okay or entertaining, plus there was nothing else out in the theaters…

This story isn’t really connected to the mummy movies besides Mathayus being the Scorpion King. The premise of the story is Mathayus (The Rock) is an assassin with his 2 brothers and are hired to kill this hot looking sorceress named Cassandra. But the obvious happens, and the king kills his brothers and Mathayus wants revenge. Gee, what a shocker. That’s pretty much it and the people who most likely are going to see this aren’t looking for a good story.

They are seeing this for the violence and half naked women. This movie was entertaining but was pretty stupid. The movie consisted of bad one-liners, bad facial expressions, bad acting, bad jokes, and bad boob jobs. The first line the Rock says in the movie is “Boo,” so you know this movie is going to be Oscar worthy. Also, most of the action was laughable. I think I laughed at the fights scenes more than the jokes they were trying to deliver.

The opening scene with The Rock was funny. He shoots like 10 arrows into the bad guys and they go flying back 50 feet. Why not just have the people explode! And at the end of the film, there is this explosion, which happens to only kill the bad guys. Yeah sure, okay. If you seen the Rock on Saturday Night Live, that’s pretty much how good is acting is here. Michael Clarke Duncan does his usual shtick and is all right. Kelly Hu is really pretty and is seen practically naked throughout the film. Who cares about her acting, right fellas! Another problem I had with the film was the music score.

It didn’t go with the film that much. Whenever there was action, there would be this metal guitar music along with the orchestra. If you heard the score to Kull The Conqueror, that’s how it sounds like. The score also sounded like the bad music they played in Last Action Hero, in the Jack Slater movie. This film is definitely a rental and this is the type of film where all your buddies can see and make fun of it.

Favorite Scenes: um, if I had to pick one..I liked the scene when Mathayus flies into the room with all the girls trying to seduce him and he does his classic facial expression.
Running Time: 92 minutes
Overall Rating:

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