Snap Judgments & Predictions Of The 90th Academy Awards

Articles | By on Feb 22nd, 2018

Snap Judgments & Predictions Of The 90th Academy Awards

It’s another year of bad predictions and snap judgments from ReadJunk’s Adam and Bryan. We got movies about having forbidden sex with a frog fish man, a lady that’s a bird, a bunch of billboards, an hour that’s pretty dark, a story of someone yelling get out, a movie about a hockey goal post…Well at least I think so. The 90th Academy Awards is set to air on March 4th, with host Jimmy Kimmel. Let’s hope for more awkwardness when they get the Best Picture winner wrong again.

Best Picture

Call Me by Your Name
Darkest Hour
Dunkirk
Get Out
Lady Bird
Phantom Thread
The Post
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Adam: Thor: Ragnaraok

Bryan: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri definitely deserves Best Picture. I wonder if they will do a sequel with Four Billboards or perhaps a prequel with Two Billboards?

Actor in a Leading Role

Timothee Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name
Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Adam: Daniel Day-Lewis will probably get this as a lifetime achievement award. I never got the appeal. His best movie was My Left Foot and only his foot acted.

Bryan: Why is Gary Oldman going to win this? He sounded nothing like Churchill! More like Sirius Black after eating way too many Chocolate Frogs.

Actress in a Leading Role

Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
Meryl Streep, The Post

Adam: Meryl Streep wins an award every time she farts.

Bryan: Frances McDormand was a badass in Three Billboards! Although, Sally Hawkins should win just for having to get naked and sleep with a fish.

Directing

Paul Thomas Anderson, Phantom Thread
Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
Jordan Peele, Get Out

Adam: Dunkirk was an incredibly directed film, perhaps one of the most immersive film experiences I’ve had. But I’m still mad at Christopher Nolan for The Dark Knight Rises. If you liked that movie, you probably breathe out of your mouth between the drool.

Bryan: I liked The Shape of Water better when it was called Splash

Adapted Screenplay

Call Me by Your Name (James Ivory)
The Disaster Artist (Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber)
Logan
Molly’s Game (Aaron Sorkin)
Mudbound (Dee Rees & Virgil Williams)

Adam: Logan was incredible how they depicted Hugh Jackman without makeup, CGI or steroids.

Bryan: I can’t wait for the movie about the movie that was about another movie.

Original Screenplay

The Big Sick (Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani)
Get Out (Jordan Peele)
Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig)
The Shape of Water (Guillermo del Toro & Vanessa Taylor)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh)

Adam: Is The Big Sick really that original if it’s based on some lame relationship?

Bryan: Guillermo del Toro watched Splash a few years ago and thought, you know what this movie needs? FISH FUCKING!

Production Design

Beauty and the Beast
Blade Runner 2049
Darkest Hour
Dunkirk
The Shape of Water

Adam: It’s amazing that after 2,048 sequels, Blade Runner’s still got it!

Bryan: Beauty and the Beast will win just because they had to make things distractingly beautiful for the audience, to cover up the fact that Emma Watson can’t sing.

Cinematography

Blade Runner 2049 (Roger Deakins)
Darkest Hour (Bruno Delbonnel)
Dunkirk (Hoyte van Hoytema)
Mudbound (Rachel Morrison)
The Shape of Water (Dan Laustsen)

Adam: Do you think Hoyte van Hoytema hates his/her parents for the lazy name?

Bryan: Blade Runner 2049 looked amazing. Too bad the movie was 8 hours long and featured a rambling Jared Leto.

Costume Design

Beauty and the Beast (Jacqueline Durran)
Darkest Hour (Jacqueline Durran)
Phantom Thread (Mark Bridges)
The Shape of Water (Luis Sequeira)
Victoria & Abdul (Consolata Boyle)

Adam: I haven’t seen Phantom Thread but it would embarrassing if they lost since it’s a movie about a costume designer. That would be like me losing an award for coolest ReadJunk contributor.

Bryan: The movie that is really British, with really British costumes and really British actors speaking really British…Victoria & Abdul it is!

Sound Editing

Baby Driver
Blade Runner 2049
Dunkirk
The Shape of Water
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Adam: Baby Driver wins for best use of a Damned song.

Bryan: Star Wars: The Last Jedi will win one out of pity.

Sound Mixing

Baby Driver
Blade Runner 2049
Dunkirk
The Shape of Water
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Adam: Didn’t we just do this one? Ok, I’ll go with Last Jedi so they win something other than the Unnecessary Nostalgia Award.

Bryan: Why do they have two categories for the same thing? That’s like the AVN Awards having Best Fluffer and Best Handjob Assistant.

Animated Short Film

Dear Basketball
Garden Party
Lou
Negative Space
Revolting Rhymes

Adam: Lou has the shortest name so it will win short film, right? I’m hilarious.
Bryan: Dear Basketball or what it should really be called: Repairing Kobe’s Image

Live Action Short Film

DeKalb Elementary
The Eleven O’Clock
My Nephew Emmett
The Silent Child
Watu Wote/All of Us

Adam: I have a nephew whose middle name is Emmett! I talked my sister into it cuz I love Emmett Otter. True story!

Bryan: All of these short films are too serious to make fun of.

Original Score

Dunkirk (Hans Zimmer)
Phantom Thread (Jonny Greenwood)
The Shape of Water (Alexandre Desplat)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (John Williams)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Carter Burwell)

Adam: Wasn’t Dunkirk just one long, held, droning note the entire time?
Bryan: Dunkirk’s score by Hans Zimmer caused many people to suffer panic attacks. Thanks Hans.

Visual Effects

Blade Runner 2049
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Kong: Skull Island
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
War for the Planet of the Apes

Adam: Ah, the annual charitable handout to sci-fi.

Bryan: War for the Planet of the Apes deserves this one. The fact that Andy Serkis has made a career appearing on set in those unflattering grey motion capture suits should be an automatic Academy Award

Film Editing

Baby Driver (Jonathan Amos & Paul Machliss)
Dunkirk (Lee Smith)
I, Tonya (Tatiana S. Riegel)
The Shape of Water (Sidney Wolinsky)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Jon Gregory)

Adam: Baby Driver didn’t edit out Kevin Spacey in time, so fail.

Bryan: Can Christopher Plummer be re-edited into Baby Driver so I can watch the movie again?

Makeup and Hairstyling

Darkest Hour
Victoria & Abdul
Wonder

Adam: They have this category but not Best Craft Service?

Bryan: Please, if Christian Bale starred as Winston Churchill instead of Gary Oldman, he would have gained 200 pounds. Who needs makeup!

Actress in a Supporting Role

Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
Allison Janney, I, Tonya
Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Adam: C’mon, it’s 2018. Women shouldn’t just be in supporting roles.

Bryan: Why the hell was a Tonya Harding movie made? What’s next, a sympathetic movie about Saddam and how he was a misunderstood dictator?

Actor in a Supporting Role

Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Adam:Adam: I’m not sure I want to live in this mirror universe where Woody Harrelson is considered an award-winning actor.

Bryan: If I was any other actor in All the Money in the World and worked on the movie longer than Christopher Plummer did, I’d be pissed!

Foreign Language Film

A Fantastic Woman
The Insult
Loveless
On Body and Soul
The Square

Adam: They made a movie about my girlfriend? (A Fantastic Woman, not Loveless, you jerks)

Bryan: I’ll pick the Russian film, they seem to be “winning” everything these days

Original Song

“Mighty River” (Mudbound)
“The Mystery of Love” (Call Me by Your Name)
“Remember Me” (Coco)
“Stand Up for Something” (Marshall)
“This Is Me” (The Greatest Showman)

Adam: Who can forget any of these classics??

Bryan: “Guardians Inferno” was snubbed dammit!

Animated Feature Film

The Boss Baby
The Breadwinner
Coco
Ferdinand
Loving Vincent

Adam: Coco, but my favorite book when I was a young child was The Story of Ferdinand, the bull who loved to smell the flowers!

Bryan: Academy Award-nominated Boss Baby…I think I just threw up in my mouth

Documentary Short Subject

Edith+Eddie
Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405
Heroin(e)
Knife Skills
Traffic Stop

Adam: Knife Skills, though I don’t know if it’s about a chef or a ninja.

Bryan: There’s a lot of short documentaries about traffic this year

Documentary Feature

Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
Faces Places
Icarus
Last Men in Aleppo
Strong Island

Adam: Get Out.

Bryan: Can’t believe they made a full-length documentary about a NES game

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