The Beastie Boys Suck

Articles | Feb 7th, 2006

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Most people who listen to top 40 music would disagree with the title of this article. After all, aren’t the Beastie Boys catchy? Aren’t they fun and easy to dance to?

Sure they are, but that doesn’t make them a good “band,” if you could even call them that. (They don’t play any instruments)

The Beastie Boys started 20 years ago when their debut album exploded onto the party scene. “You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right To Party” was the biggest song of its day, and you could hear it on every radio and at every block party, sweet 16 and Bar Mitzvah. The song itself isn’t bad, and I have to give it credit for being one of the first rap songs. But unfortunately, the song also jumpstarted the frat boy movement.

Sure, there were always frat boys, but this song gave them a soundtrack. The Beastie Boys didn’t stop there, as they then released “Hey Ladies!”, an irritating song that only fratboys and Christopher Walkin liked because it “has a lot of cowbell.” And a song about hitting cars with eggs. Typical meathead frat boy bullshit.

The Beastie Boys were soon overshadowed by other flavors of the week, like fellow white rappers Vanilla Ice, LL Cool J, and Snow (remember him??). Also the guy who sang “You’re unbelievable! Oh!” (Someone please let me know who sang it – I want to DL it.) Later came Nirvana and Green Day, and the grunge and punk movements respectively.

The Beastie Boys tried everything to come back, even pretending to be another band for their Sabotage video which was so stupid. Finally after 20 years, they have a big hit called “Intergalactic,” so named because you wish you could shoot the Beastie Boys into space. The song taught a new wave of bullies and frat boys how to dance like morons and think their into rap. (I’d love to see any Beastie Boy fan spend more than a minute in the same room as a 50 Cent fan!!)

The Beastie Boys haven’t done much since but I’m sure they are still around, infecting the true rap scene with their crappy 40 year old white boy fraternity hazing chants. They pretend to be from New York – yeah maybe the Village. Fat Joe should invite them to Brooklyn and show them the real deal.